Intense. Unleashed. Fearless

“Drawing is not an exercise of particular dexterity, but above all a means of expressing intimate feelings and moods.” (Henri Matisse)

I feel in color. I no longer see this as a disadvantage since most process everything in black and white.

I paint as if it means my life. By the last stroke I am at times out of breath.

I sometimes leave tears, strong emotions, mixed in the paint. They are not tears of sorrow it’s just that I feel wish such intensity and that intensity is relieved when I put paint on paper.

I no longer apologize for feeling intensely, not when many in the world embrace apathy.

I primarily paint at night when many are sleeping. It’s almost as if I paint in secret, concealed so that no one truly sees the madness that unfolds for just one small piece of artwork to come out exactly as I saw it in my heart. I like to paint at night and wait for the sun to go down as if it’s my cue to be unleashed.

I’d rather attempt a project and fail miserably than to be held back by fear. Fear is like the chains on wrists and legs which people have fought and died to have removed.

I long to move fearlessly.

Faith

Cut in Stone

Cut in StoneA friend of mine, now gone, once said: “The most beautiful things come from the most foul manure.” I hope he’s right. I hope to one day grow past what is ugly into not just beauty but peace.

As stated in my bio, I have Post Traumatic Stress Disorder as well as Multiple Personality Disorder. There are times when my mind races and is filled with flashbacks from times unsafe. I want to run from my own head. I panic. I call a friend and then I take to a few more coping skills such as painting.  Continue reading

Annie Tree Frog

I haven’t made a softy in a good long time. I’ve made pillows and bags but this is the first softy in awhile. I call her Annie, she’s a tree frog instead of a water frog like the others in my personal collection of hand sewn frogs and ducks.

As usual, there was no pattern. I winged it. The day I created her I needed some small project that could be done right then and there and finished that very day. I needed to see results, any kind of results and so Annie came to be.

I like to make little frogs.

 

Rustic Sunflower

Rustic Sunflower fmaAt 9 inches by 6 inches this painting is stunning when matted and framed. It’s worn look gives an emotional feel for which I have no words, so I can only describe to you what is in the painting.

There is one large sepia toned sunflower in full bloom surrounded by large, dark green leaves standing tall and reaching high. The forest green leaves mixed with spring green and black contrast against an aged turquoise background. The background has a rubbed, antique worn, wood appearance. The two stalks merge at soil level where small white and small black flowers emerge.

Other details: Colors bleed from green to black to turquoise. The leaves of the sunflower as well as the entire background itself are texture rich. If you are a sunflower lover and like the sepia tone, red sunflower or autumn colors with a snap then you will love this painting. Continue reading

The Stream Carried Wonderment and Joy

The Stream Carried Wonderment and JoyThis painting is on of the very first collages I’ve created and thought good enough to post. The tall, elongated woman with her face divided by cream and blue stands with her eyes closed taking in everything. The secure and at peace woman stands with her feet in the stream and allows joy and wonderment into her life. There is no struggle, no working against the tide. She takes it all in and is entirely in the moment.

Her hair is adorned with flowers. Her dress is yellow at the top with two butterfly cut outs. The butterfly details also appear at the side of her skirt. The remaining cut outs are small flowers made from hand dyed coffee filter cut outs. Food coloring was used to stain the coffee filter cut outs. The painting has been sealed with a matte acrylic seal.  Continue reading

Sunflowers Bless My Home

Sunflowers Bless My Home fmaSunflowers Bless My Home was super fun. She’s bright and beautiful, dreamy and just fun! A young girl stands with her arm out stretched with a large sunflower winding around her arm until it comes to an arch over the house of music. Green leaves touch the deep blue and purple sky. The white moon shares the purple and blue.

You can see the young woman with black hair in the red dress, breath the night air in as she stands in the grass by the rocky walkway home. It is a magical, fantasy and cheerful collage that would do well in any home or business office such as children’s dentistry or the bedroom of your young child whose imagination will be indulged. Continue reading

Dance of Dissonance

 

Dance of Dissonance FMA

By 4am I was exhausted. My head was tired, full of noise that made no sense. At my threshold I got up from bed and walked 10 feet to my studio, pulled out a piece of paper and began to paint. I removed some of the surface paper for texture, scratched paint with a toothpick and smeared paint with all my fingers until finally the noise ceased. 

In the painting you’ll see a face outlined in black – eyes, nose, lips. While the face is hot with red and orange, the dreadlocks hang in blue and black. On the outskirts, into the white is yellow and the tiniest flicker of green.  Continue reading