Sometimes it's hard to sit still. My anxiety is full force so that I walk while studying. I pace back and forth with my tablet in my hand reading and studying. I sit to scribble to release the anxiety. I try to calm myself with a cup of tea, with a little soothing self talk, but I'm not able to focus or get grounded.
I had two visitors and I was nervous with them. I got good stuff though. One lady swapped me tomatoes and squash for cat food. I love bartering. Now I have fresh, garden grown veggies and her cat has a good amount of dry food.
The other lady and I do green juice together but she brought over a couple that she got from an orchard by her. She has Lupus, too.
I was so anxious when they were here. Anxiety is ridiculous right now.
I have questions. I wonder why North Korea has to be wiped off the map, completely annihilated. Is it an all or nothing situation? How will a deployed nuclear weapon affect the rest of the world? What is the clean up effort after or do you intend to just leave the land and water around it abandoned and destroyed? ...continue reading "Questions About War"
I tend to work on many pieces at one time, including this little one here. She was created by scribbling loops on the page, erasing in areas then connecting lines to picture this little girl. The other drawing in this entry was created by the same process of loops, lines and pearls.
Sketchbook art in watercolor.
She grew up with more than Lupus. She grew up with the ability to imagine and do more than anyone thought she could.
If I became too annoyed with myself concerning my lack of focus and the many half started paintings, I'd be too discouraged to finish anything. I'm going with the flow. I put a few more lines to one drawing then work with another. I add paint to one piece then add the last thing, my signature.
I sometimes assembly line work with one color. I lay out 4 or 5 paintings and add the color to each. I let them dry then do the same thing to the next batch.
My way of working can be frustrates me. I think I'm not getting anywhere, that is until I put the finishing touches on 5 art pieces in one day. That's when I realize my focus is off a bit and I feel scattered, but I'm still finishing artwork. Recently, finishing art has taken longer but I'm willing to accept that too, especially since I am finishing art. I have four sketch journals I could think of as failed finishes or a head start to the finish line. I choose the latter.
What can a broke girl like me do for my neighbors in need?
I can donate to food pantries. Food pantries are going to divert their stock to areas in need, which may at times cause hardship for locals in need. I can look in my pantry for anything I can spare and donate it. I'll come back to this in a second.
I can offer cash in the form of $1 or less. If a dollar is all I can spare at the time then a dollar is what I will donate. A dollar here and there adds up and can go far if managed by a reputable relief effort.
Girls and boys will need items to help them pass the time while they and their families try to rebuild their lives. Children of all ages will need more than the basics of life. I will think hard about what can be done on a personal level. My first thought is, there are artists out there without a pad and pencil. I know they're just losing it. I would be.
I'd like to be connected to a family through a secure channel and send them small care packages. That will be possible later in the relief effort.
I can encourage others during this time of national and international distress. I may not speak to them concerning Biblical hope, but I can be encouraging by validating their experience and being a listening ear.
I'm holding back when it comes to posting art work other than sketchbook art. I don't know why but I feel so closed up right now and not willing to share the new stuff. I suppose I will again soon.
Jane has good days and bad days, today is a good day. She has finished 2 of the three medications. Pets get old, get sick and they die, and that sucks. I have good days and bad days, today is a tired day.
I still take photos on the 17th of each month then look at them all 12 at the end of the year...and in between. It helps me have a better understanding of what I really look like as opposed to what I think I look like.
I feel disgusting. I'm not looking for compliments, ok. I feel disgusting. I feel like a fat slob, ugly. Why? My weight it out of control. It's out of control for many reasons, primarily steroids and other medications. ...continue reading "The 17th"
My frog Pete died a few days ago. He was 12 years old. It breaks my heart that he's gone. The house doesn't feel right without hearing him call at night. I now have two Chubby Frogs and hope to get a Dumpy Frog (White's Tree Frog) somewhere down the road but right now I intend to focus on Mary Jane and getting her better. Her fever returned and has been pretty steady. She comes out of her corner a few times a day but always goes back. She keeps trying to find a corner further away, darker, smaller where she can be alone. I feel bad for her. She still fur and bones. She gained a few ounces but she's still skinny, she looks so bad.
I have lowered prices in my Etsy shop. There's no sale, no code to punch in, just lowered prices on most items. The price decrease is anywhere from $5 to $50. I've lowered prices on most of my items so I can get serious about saving money for Mary Jane's treatment in her senior years. She's never cost me much money so I didn't worry about not having savings specifically for her care, but recent events have shown that I need to have funds available for vet care and medicines. My shop prices reflect the need while giving me a half way decent profit.
Funerals have a way of making you think about life in deeper terms and with focused eyes.
At the funeral I ran into 6 of kids that come here. They're going to be at the Hall for my first talk. I'm so happy they're going to be there. The oldest girl is going to record it for me.
I don't think I've been hugged so much in one day. Yes, it hurt and yes I required pain meds after, but I wouldn't have traded those hugs for anything or passed them up. They moved but they are still able to come here and to come to my Hall. That makes me happy. ...continue reading "Adjusting positive focus"
Jane is an easy cat to treat, she really is. She'll eat just about anything you put in front of her....just about.
One item on the nutritional menu that I need to get in her to build her blood isn't that tasty to her. She's not a fan of sweet potatoes unless of course they come with a dab of junk cat food called 9 lives. Yup, I just whip a little yam with a dab of canned mess and she acts like it's not even there.
Fortunately, she will not need the nutrients in sweet taters for too long.