About a year ago I took a vow of simplicity. I started before the health scare took place and am picking up where I left off.
What is it? What's the point?
A vow of simplicity is one where you vow to live (for a time) a more simple existence which includes freeing up time wasters, money wasters and drama for the purpose of mental, emotional and spiritual wellbeing and balance.
I think simplicity has cleaner lines of thought and action. I think life can be filled with distraction and clutter and I'd like to minimize the affects the outside cluttered world has on me.
The vow is personal and spiritual, and has nothing to do with how others live or thrive.
Being a personal vow, it is specific to my needs.
This is in fact a vow before God to live a simplified life for a time. Its new and official start date was September 1st of 2018. Because the vow is before God it is more than a goal. It's a spiritual obligation. I really want this in a large way which is why I did a vow instead of a goal. I wanted the obligation to fulfill it.
My physical wounds have healed faster than emotional wounds. There's a real fear that time will pass, I'll 'look better', and people will forget that on the inside I'm still struggling.
When all this first happened and for the entire 5 months, friends leaped to my assistance. I had more visitors than I knew what to do with. 🙂 I felt loved. Now that things are going back to my version of normal with Lupus, I fear being left and yet I know the fear is unfounded. My friends love me and I know it, and I know that they were there for me before all this happened. But there's this fear that all the love and attention is going to stop, and I'll fade right into the background and be forgotten. I like the feeling of being loved. It's not entirely new but its new enough that with a taste of it I don't want to let it go. ...continue reading "Don’t Forget Me"
Monday was one of the hardest days I've had in a while. It started off with nightmares that stayed with me for much of the day. I tried to go back to bed to start over but had yet another nightmare. Then as planned, I got myself together, got on my horse (wheelchair) and left the house despite mega pain. I went to the shoe store and cried my eyes out in the store unexpectedly. I had no idea the grief would hit me right there in DSW but it did and there I sat crying in my chair in front of people. I felt like a fool.
Later I went to the post office to send out art only to discover that it was Columbus Day, no mail. That would have been fine except I was already at my max of stress and physical pain. Then later the big worry happened, I fell. ...continue reading "Surviving to Eke out Gratitude"
Here's a quick look at some of the art that is still looking for a wall of it's own.
The Young Violinist
Resilience Tree – Risen
Where can I purchase original Sundrip art?
Original artwork can be purchased directly from this website Sundrip.com by using PayPal or from my Etsy shop. The Etsy shop no longer offers prints.
Where can I buy Sundrip prints?
You may purchase prints from my Redbubble shop. If there's a print you want but it does not appear in the Redbubble shop please contact me and I'll put it in there. At this time I only offer prints from my Redbubble shop.
Please click the Galleries link for Frequently Asked Questions and other information.
Thank you for visiting SUNDRIP - Art for Life
Content: Aunt tried to kill herself. Brief discussion of cocaine. Death.
The gist is that my aunt refused to call me by my name, called me everything else. I refused to answer. Then she called me a 'bitch' so I gave her a full account of how much I hate her. I reminded her that she has "everything" others work their whole lives for: a boat, house, vacations, good job, yet she's unhappy. I went as far as to tell her that even though everyone else knows it, she's in love with someone who doesn't love her back and that's the real reason she's unhappy. I said she should let his gay self go and find a straight man. ...continue reading "Dreams: Burying Fantasies"
Yup! Today I became momma to 3 baby Australian Tree Frogs. I couldn't be happier!
I saved money then walked in the store and purchased the tank, stand, frogs and supplies. I walked out a happy camper.
I keep looking at the terrarium, just staring at it. Soon I'll have good photos but for now my word must be taken for it that these babies are the cutest things in the history of ever. They're smaller than a quarter, tiny things. They'll get big soon enough though. I purchased a tank large enough that I won't need to upgrade later. I'm thrilled to have something to fuss over and love. Now I have a Betta fish, frogs and a pet snail. Yay!
Here's a shot of me at Michael's craft store holding a gigantic tea cup. Earl Gray would have been great. Soon my wine yeast will arrive in the mail and I can start the first batch of the year. A big cup is great for wine, too.
I understand that my biological response to many things is still as if my body is fighting like when I was abused or when I was having medical trauma from a young age. My adrenal system fights so hard, as if it has to, still. All that adrenaline causes anxiety because I'm still trying to run despite there being no where to run. I feel trapped in my anxiety.
I sometimes respond strong emotionally when I don't mean to.
Right now I'm feeling very stressed by things: stressed about the CNA situation and about not having frogs. I know it sounds so insane that I'd be stressed without frogs but I'm stressed without something to care for, fuss over and love. There's nothing here to love! ...continue reading "Anxiety and Fight or Flight"
It's been one of those days where all I've done is sleep and paint. I got in a good meal, sat down at the table with candle light and everything, yet my heart is desperate and forlorn.
I want to cut. I wont but the desire is there to shred my arms up.
When I don't paint I don't cope. Painting is a huge coping skill for me. Now that I've started painting again I've started feeling more. I felt a lot before but was sort of holding up a wall to shield myself from it. ...continue reading "I’m Not Crazy Yet"