Sister Pickle finally got a pond today, but there were complications. lol. Okay, I want to say that she got to the pond earlier than next spring because it was the right thing to do but that would be a flat out lie. I really wanted to take care of Pickle until spring but her food kept causing me problems. Here’s the thing, I’m not afraid of mealworms, earth worms of all sizes or crickets….. however, when 10 or more crickets escape, the thought to be well sealed cricket enclosure, then things start getting a little messy.
Mary Jane had a wonderful time catching and murdering some of the escaped convicts. If I could catch them then I just put them in with my aquatic frog, no issues there. The issue was when I was in bed and a cricket crawled on me. It appears I can still scream like a girl! You know the girl scream, it’s the one where the jaw is unhinged, uvula vibrates and a piercing sound heard for miles escapes the darkness of her esophagus. Yes, it was that kind of scream! Continue reading →
I got the lecture about how we (my aunt and I) aren’t going to drudge up the past. She says people remember things differently and that she doesn’t want to hear anything negative about her sister. This isn’t going to last….. In other words, we don’t want to bring up the abuse, we still don’t believe you and still don’t want to deal with it. She’s okay with hearing bad about me but not her sister or my sister. I flat out told her, with my mother out of the picture, I hoped my sister and I could have a relationship. That’s when she told me about remembering differently…. I’m way past acting like everything is okay. Way past it.
I am angry right now! I am very angry.
When I got home from Florida from Aunty P’s house no one believed me when I told them what Uncle ‘Deserves to be Dead’ was doing to me and to my cousin. What happened was that I was told I couldn’t be alone with my grandfather because I might accuse him of touching me. Not a single person ever, ever saw me as anything other than a disobedient liar. No one wanted to believe me.
I found out why my sister hasn’t responded……she can’t, and that makes my heart happy and sad. It’s not ME that she can’t call or contact. It’s not ME that she’s rejecting. It turns out life with my mother was enough to crack her. I’m happy it’s not me she’s rejecting again and I’m happy I left when I did because I’d be in the same boat. But it hurts my heart to know she can’t function in this life because of her mind.
This drives home the belief that not everyone has an equal chance, equal emotional strengths, equal opportunities to escape their abusers. Some of us lived, some did not and some breathe without ever having truly lived.
I keep looking at the color in the new header on this blog and my Facebook page and I really like it.
The art I sell isn’t the type of art I have displayed in the rooms of my home. I don’t like bright art in my home. I like earth tones, abstract landscapes or abstract seascapes in earth tones. But I keep looking at the colors in the header and I think to myself, I should get a print of the top portion of this painting because I really like it.
I’m not over stimulated by the colors. Usually that’s the problem with me and color, I feel in color and often intensely. I want blues and burgundy, cream, chocolate, mauve, colors like that. But I keep looking at the top portion of the painting called Crystal – Let the Mountains Shake and I’m like, I’m gonna have to get a print of that. I’m also strongly considering using the part of this as my logo (branding) and for my business cards I’m going to get made. Hmmm. Interesting.
Wake her. I can’t wake her.
A trance so simple to employ has held her captive these many years.
Wake her. I can’t wake her.
Smelling salts, the promise of every good apple,
a song pleasant to the ears,
a hand soft on her face.
I have pledged my life
to pour out water that will move stones
down the mountain of doubt and
build for her a tower where the best sunsets will be captured in her eyes.
I have promised,
still she sleeps.
“The Girl Who Lost Her Bird”
The Girl Who Lost Her Bird is in the Art Journal Originals gallery in my Etsy shop. She is also available on Redbubble as a print.
September 21, 2016
Copyright 2016 @ Sundrip Journals. All rights reserved.
Today will be a quiet day. I’m going to get some work done – scan files, finish the doll and update my Etsy shop. I’m going to have a nice fish dinner, sip tea all day, snuggle with the cat, peep in at the frogs and take a nap if I feel like it.
My appointment yesterday with Dr. Yes Man , who I’m going to just call Dr. Yes, went very, very well.
I set up a time for today to call my Aunt at 1 pm but her phone went directly to voicemail. I left two text messages but didn’t hear back. I’m not sure what that means so I will not draw a conclusion. I do know today is my grandmother’s 90th birthday (I thought she was already 90) so she’s going to be with her. I’ll check my grandmother’s Facebook page later (Yup, my Nana is on FB) and my aunt’s FB page, can’t do much more than that. (Took her to the theater, turned phone off, forgot we were to have a call.)
I’m not satisfied with the sidebar color but that’ll have to wait.
Alright, time for more of my busy yet quiet and peaceful day.