I NEED to paint. I don’t just want to, I NEED to paint as much as I need to breath and eat, I NEED to paint. I’ve got something in my heart that needs to be let go, needs to be on canvas or paper or cloth, anything. I can’t do it until Wednesday though…….
When it gets like this, when it stirs in my chest like a storm, it nearly hurts until finally paint is put down.
I can’t say it’ll be a painting I post. I’m just expressing that sometimes there is a desire that turns to force until I can’t take it anymore and I have to get whatever it is in my head and heart out. Get it out.
It’s an emotion.
Which one?
It feels intense. It feels overwhelming.
My situation isn’t so that I can paint at the moment, but in a few days I can and will. I have almost a panicked feeling because I need to get whatever this is out of me. Panic to paint. I felt this way before this minor life interruption. Urgency.
I wonder, worry that when I am able to paint again if I’ll be shut up, closed off because of having carried this ? for too long without letting it go. argh! I don’t know what it is. I don’t know why the urgency, but its there. I hope for relief and soon. Funny how much I’ve come to depend on art as therapy, as a way to relieve and free myself.