We had a packed therapy session with Morton in front most of the time.
Nervous. Lonely. Worried. Tired.
I slept after therapy until 2:45pm. I'm pretty tired these days.
In therapy we discussed the need to be emotionally supportive instead of abusing myself emotionally. I can support myself emotionally by being more understanding and more forgiving of my limitations. No, I'm not ugly. Yes my health is a mess but my health does not determine my self worth. Limitations should not be attached to my sense of dignity, but boy are they.
We talked about the possibility of running into my sister more and how anxiety provoking that is. I noticed as I spoke to him about my sister that my body was tightly clenched. I sitting holding myself, knees clinched, head down. My feet weren't on the floor, I had them flexed so that I was on my toes. I was seriously clinched. When I told him I could hear and see my anxiety I was able to get myself more comfortable and less physically reactive.
We talked about this being the first month in years when we have not been able to meet our bills. There's an electric bill waiting to be paid, and I find myself in need of shoes. It's been a bit difficult lately. One sale since July makes for a very tight belt. By the way, I was appreciative that someone purchased a print, especially the one they chose. Once I established the what and how of the matter, the painting came together quickly. I never got paid for the bag holder doll.
Dr D and I threw around ideas for why our art hasn't sold. There is interest but no sales.
There are marked differences in the style we use now and what Destiny and Amy Pink used to punch out. After those 2 were integrated, Jordan and Robert began producing the art which is a lot more surreal than before. One issue with Jordan painting is that she loses focus so that follow through to finish a piece is left wanting. Shown is progress on a painting of three girls started a few weeks ago.
Jordan has a keen interest in abstract art but doesn't really know how to go about it. There's a sense of desperation to sell something but at the same time it makes no sense to force production. To do so would remove heart from our work which I believe draws people to it.
We have to stay close to who we are as an artist (that changes) because to force myself to do differently would mean I'd produce heartless art. Our determination is to ride out this dry season with confidence that our Etsy shop holds various reflections of the heART of Sundrip, and nothing else.