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What if I’m fat, ugly and stupid? Pt2

What if all the things I say to myself are true? If I am fat, ugly and stupid, how would having this information change my life?

Should ugly stupid people expect less out of life? Is it ok to smack a less attractive person as opposed to an attractive one?

When I leave the house should I expect people to make fun of my weight, spit on me or cross the street to avoid me for fear my lack of brain power and horrible looks are contagious?

What good are these words I use against myself if I don't feel others should treat me for who I say I am?
Self inflicted emotional abuse can leave gaping wounds that fester. Predators looking for a victim can smell open wounds a mile away. I do not desire to have one of these characters to set up shop and further destroy my delicate sense of self and dignity.

The first step to heal wounds and shield myself from those who wish to inflict them is to bring emotional abuse of self to a swift end.

That sounds all well and good, but I've struggled with this for a long time. I do better sometimes but abandon all reason other times. Keeping this rule, this way of life, in the front of my mind may help control my tendency toward self condemnation.

Jordan

Published on Categories PTSD, The People Behind My Eyes

About Faith

SUNDRIP – Art for Life is a site that expresses in every media possible an intimate look into the life of a person living with major trauma. The issues addressed in art and writing include Dissociative Identity Disorder, Post Traumatic Stress Disorder, Lupus and CRSD. Despite these issues, I intend to move forward, through and out with honor, grace and creativity.

2 thoughts on “What if I’m fat, ugly and stupid? Pt2

  1. Tony Single

    Some days I'm better at fighting this than others. It can literally come down to how I'm feeling when I first wake as to how the rest of my day will pan out.

    Reply

No need to feel nervous, comment if you'd like.

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