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Crazy. Unstable.

Today I realized I'm crazy. I'm not right. Plain and simple. No, I don't kill people or stalk or have any of those types of craziness issues. It's the craziness where I'm ok one day but the next I'm far gone.

I'm angry.

I'm afraid of being left.

I'm argumentative then deeply remorseful 5 min later. The blast of anger comes out to friends and blindsided them. You can almost see the deer in the headlights look in their eyes.

I overflow with emotion sometimes to the point of exhausting myself.

I want to leave my friends alone because I don't want to hurt them. I feel this shame inside like I can't drag them through this anymore. How many times is I'm sorry enough?

Robert, 19

Published on Categories Art

About Faith

SUNDRIP – Art for Life is a site that expresses in every media possible an intimate look into the life of a person living with major trauma. The issues addressed in art and writing include Dissociative Identity Disorder, Post Traumatic Stress Disorder, Lupus and CRSD. Despite these issues, I intend to move forward, through and out with honor, grace and creativity.

2 thoughts on “Crazy. Unstable.

  1. mvitrano

    Try to not beat yourself up over something you have no control over. Emotions are strange animals that have a mind of their own more often than not. Realizing and acknowledging how your emotions flow might help you get a better handle on them. But please don't berate yourself for having these feelings and being human. You already deal with so much. Hang in there, wishing you well.

    Reply
  2. Faith

    "Realizing and acknowledging how your emotions flow might help you get a better handle on them" .

    I go back over journal entries with experiences like blasts of anger and I try to see how to handle it better.

    Thank you for your response.
    Faith

    Reply

No need to feel nervous, comment if you'd like.

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