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Self Talk – Confrontation and Small Potatoes

Issue: A formal letter of complaint was written and mailed to the property owner concerning the property manager.
Action: A bit of self talk is needed to get myself to focus on the issue and how to best deal with it. It's a pep talk and reality check and a helpful way to organize my thoughts.

I want to run to the closet and throw it up.
Throw it up in the closet?
I just want to run.
The closet?
I want to run. In the pit of my stomach there is fear and dread. I want to go away.
Where?
I don't care. I just don't want to be here when they get here. I don't want the confrontation, but it'll happen.
You need to get ready, not run. Get grounded, not fearful.
I know. I know. 
Who will be out when they arrive? Whose going to handle this confrontation? What paperwork do you want to have ready? Fear is understandable, but don't let it keep you from being prepared.
I wish Morton was here.
Even though Morton integrated he's a part of the whole which means somehow, don't ask me how, but somehow we can still have his strength and confidence without bursts of anger. It'll be important to keep the younger alters away from this. We need to do some visualization early, before she/they get here. We need to remember to speak up, watch our posture, use eye contact, be assertive but not aggressive. The way you stand, the way you dress for the confrontation will matter Faith. Do you know what you're wearing?
I was thinking everyday stuff.
Let me suggest that you dress as yourself, what you feel best describes you. Wear the blue jeans with a butterfly on the back pocket, a burgundy T-shirt, your hoop earrings, no shoes, toes painted cobalt blue, dreadlocks down, not in a ponytail. You're an earthy kind of girl, so be you. Remember, authenticity goes a long way. Also, your formal complaint is legitimate. There is no need to go over the letter again. He's very well aware of what it says concerning his employee. Just answer whatever questions as best you can but don't answer questions that lead to unneeded confrontation. What I mean is, some questions may lead down a path that isn't productive. You can have a measure of control over the confrontation by remembering how to communicate. You do know how. Also remember, you are not required to answer every question you're asked. This isn't court, this IS YOUR HOME. He may be the owner of the building, but this is YOUR HOME. Remember that. And remember you're on solid ground. In truth, there is nothing to fear.
Thank you.
It's kind of heavy isn't it?
Yeah. Yup.
Let her be herself, too. You know she's small potatoes. And you know a year is all you've got left here. She's small potatoes, don't let this woman be more than that.
I appreciate the reminder that there is an end to this and yes, in the grand scheme of things, she is small potatoes.

Published on Categories Anxiety, The People Behind My Eyes

About Faith

SUNDRIP – Art for Life is a site that expresses in every media possible an intimate look into the life of a person living with major trauma. The issues addressed in art and writing include Dissociative Identity Disorder, Post Traumatic Stress Disorder, Lupus and CRSD. Despite these issues, I intend to move forward, through and out with honor, grace and creativity.

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