Okay, Dr. D said I haven't been speaking of my hobbies and that maybe I should widen out my friendship pool. He said a year ago I used to talk about the fish tanks, the aquarium club, Bob the fish guy and Bob the frog guy. I talked about art and about dates, marriage and classes. He said in the last year I've not told him about my hobbies and goals and that might be because my mix of friends isn't diverse enough.
** blank stare**
Because of my health, hobbies didn't come up in therapy, nor did my art because we talked a lot over the phone because I wasn't able to travel that far. It's hard to show art over the phone. If he needs to have a dose of fish talk and art then perhaps he should attend Sea World and the Smithsonian Institution. For juicy break ups with hillbillies and tramps, he can watch a few episodes of Jerry Springer.
He knows I can be selfish and that I deny myself nothing that I really want. If I want it I'm willing to work to get it. It might take a while to get it, but I'm gonna get it. Is that arrogance, ignorance or confidence when you truly believe you can have what you want? Thank goodness all I want is a simple life. One might be surprised how hard that is to obtain.
Why on earth would he think my circle of friends is too small, and because of that small circle I've somehow given up my hobbies and goals? Nonsense. He must be thinking of a different patient who is an artist living as a hermit.
When I was a kid I wanted to be a chef. I became a chef. After mental health and Lupus stopped that I tried several things then finally settled on art work. But I've always set my eye on a goal knowing if I want it I can work hard and get it. I don't know why but that's always been my view of things. I don't look at the world outside and see all the things I can't do. That's never been me. I'm a worker. I'm not as confident with my art as I am with other abilities.
I believe work affords a person dignity and purpose.
I don't desire top technology (I need a stylus, anybody got one) nor do I desire a big house and a car (just renewed my license today...horrible photo.) Sometimes I have to rearrange things to accommodate my body AND mind, but the goal isn't lost. I can't leave out natural beauty and stable friendships anymore than I can leave out a wheelchair or anti embolism stockings. In addition to accessibility, my home is set up with beauty in mind; but that topic is set aside in therapy because there are much bigger fish to fry.