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Am I physically better, or worse?

Many know the story of the woman in the Bible that had an illness for which she sought treatment from doctor after doctor. She said she suffered for 12 years, spent all she had but she wasn't any better, in fact she was worse. ... There are millions of people who can relate to her story and who know she didn't just spend money at those doctors, she spent energy and hope. She left behind her dignity!

I've started off this post with her story because it's one I know so well and one I was thinking of when I denied treatment from the orthopedic specialist. I didn't tell him I'm not going to do the test, I let him set it up for the 13th of September, I let him set up a follow up test late in September knowing full well I wouldn't present myself. I will go to my medical doctor soon and discuss the issue with him and let him know why I am unable and unwilling to perform the test.

Unable. I'm unable because the test he wants me to do is a needle emg. They'll place needles down my arm and into my hand. HAND. Had they said my back I would have agreed but I can't do needles in my hands, feet or mouth as these are areas where needles were used during abuse. Because of my pain level I would agree to acupuncture anywhere except my hands, face or feet. I wasn't going to try to explain the PTSD issue to Dr. Oh No! because he gets a bit upset when a patient tells him no. So I just shook my head, accepted yet another brace and left.

Unwilling. I'm unwilling to do the test because he wants to see if I have carpel tunnel syndrome. Dude, if I have it what will be the treatment? Not surgery, but braces. Lets skip his wild theory that a year old rotator cuff injury is actually carpel tunnel. Lets skip all of that. Give me the braces. I'll be irritated by it for a bit, wallow in self pity for a minute then get on with it. At least it matches the other braces. I can't go around with mismatched body armor. See why my hair has to look right at all times? It's all I've got! I ...will...not...bling...out...my....braces. I'm not going fabulous with medical gear. Nothing shimmering, nothing with feathers or beads or .... ohhh, huh

I no longer go from doctor to doctor (even those with good intentions) and follow their every instruction and intrusive exam. I am that woman in the Bible and that patient, who numbers in the millions, that has spent all she has going from doctor to doctor only to come out worse.

Dr. Oh No! (Orthopedic Specialist / Surgeon) told me not to join the gym to use the machines because he doesn't think it's a good idea to do more than stretches. Well, over a year ago a zealous doctor (top 400 in Indiana) told me to join a gym. I said I couldn't pay for it. He handed me cash to pay for six months so I can use the very machines Dr Oh No! told me not to use.

a little too tightWho do I believe? How do I know which way to go? This is exactly what I mean when I say well meaning doctors give advice, but you don't know if you should take it because the next doctor you see will tell you it's wrong. This means I have to know my body very well, know my history and make an informed decision based on MY symptoms, not those of someone on the internet or even a friend. This is my body we're talking about and my well being, physically and emotionally.

I benefited from that two months of physical therapy because I now have the Saunders machine. I've included a funny shot of me in the neck traction machine which is one of the best pain relief machines I've ever used second only to a MMJ vaporizer. Yeah, I went there with weed again. I'm just waitin' for the law, just a- waitin'. Everything I eat will have MMJ in it. Don't come to my house and pour yourself some herbal tea until you verify what kind of herb it is! This house will be the fun house of relief! Okay, I'm back on track now.. gracious.... so .... in two weeks I will see the dental surgeon who will remove a tooth that is infected quite badly. It has not yet entered the sinus area so I dodged a bullet on that one.

Why do I always have a two week wait for treatment? It's always two weeks.

Faith

No need to feel nervous, comment if you'd like.

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