In two years time I'll have this piece of paper I really, really want. When that's in my hand I will no longer post writings on the internet. This isn't a bad thing, it's just change. Actually, it'll be totally awesome.
Despite health concerns I'm still going for each goal that I've set for myself. My health is crappy, no news there, but I'm still around when by all rights I shouldn't be. So while I'm still here I'll be that girl who wastes little time and takes little for granted.
When I said I was going to close down The People Behind My Eyes which had been running since 2002, there was warranted skepticism. Eventually the step was taken and I'm glad for it. It made this site easier to manage, it made art easier to catalog and display. It made my voice clearer I think. I stopped hiding so much of why I painted what I painted. That was nice. I always felt that I was free to say what I wanted on the journal but held back on the art side of things. To keep the name TPBME, I just created a category. I don't hold back when speaking about my art and why it was created.
Yesterday I spent several hours cataloging over 2000 high resolution art files. I could not believe that those were three times that number that were not high resolution. I cataloged art from 2013 to 2016. I have artwork still to go through dating back to 1999. I just have to decide what I want to publish on Redbubble and what I don't. I'm not certain if I'll sell originals after that time. I'm not certain what the future is for Sundrip on Etsy.
I won't be moving out of the state or country. I won't be on some grand adventure. I'll be a half way normal person attempting to assist others who have felt defeated, period.
I've started a year of dedicated service time. I'm proud of that. It not only helps others but helps keep me social and active so as not to be overwhelmed by my own stuff.
I think when it comes right down to it, I want to feel useful to others. It's one thing to know you're useful, it's another to feel it. I need to feel it which for me means education, partnering up and helping others who hurt.
I have had some of the same readers since 2002. Many stopped being 'readers' and became friends. Don't worry, I'm not going to fall off the face of the earth, go into some sort of ...I don't know....I don't know. All I'm doing is planning my future. I will not cease contacting my 3D friends, online friends or Facebook friends. I'm not leaving the internet. I just won't be a blogger. I'm trading blogging for something I want more. I don't have the stamina for both.
You can guarantee I'll have a private journal (offline). I think it's important for me to unload and get my head on straight. I also have a gratitude journal but I have a feeling I'm going to upgrade it to one with my art on the outside. I saw some of them on my Redbubble site and thought, dang, that's pretty cool. I might have to snag a bound journal as my gratitude journal. The fact that the name Sundrip is credited on it is awesome for me.
One might see this as a blogger resignation letter that will be active in two years time. I see it as a date set aside to further live the life I desire.