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DREAM: Witch. Murder. Topsy Turvy. Mother

It's been a long time since a dream knocked me for a loop, this one did. I usually write down as much as possible right after waking but I tried to distance myself from this.

Main content: Witch sacrificed by male witch. Out of control car, mother, sister, telepathy, changing seasons, few options, very few words spoken, self preservation, horror.

It went from day to midnight within a few short minutes in dream. It changed from a hot summer day to a cold winter within minutes.

(begin) On a hot summer's day my mother was driving the car down the highway really fast with my sister in the passenger's seat and me in the backseat behind the passenger. While driving, my mother and sister changed places with my sister who looking back at me instead of looking ahead at the road. The next thing you know there's a traffic jam and we're next to a truck with white supremacists and their 3 children. The children were like their parents. They looked at us with such scorn and hate.

Communicating with one another in this part of the dream was by thought transmission only. No one moved their lips, they just transmitted thoughts to others, but when the thoughts came to me they stopped about 5 inches away and I heard nothing. The white mother said something to my family but I didn't hear it. The emotion was very clear. The husband got out of the truck and came to the window and asked for a sex act from me. Again, his thoughts could be transmitted but they were blocked from me, too. The emotion was clear, the request clear, hatred clear and the lack of protection from my mother, typical. The only reason I wasn't being used by that guy was because the light changed. My mother threw something out the window at him and he threw something back. I don't remember what those things were. The mother transmitted the white father probably expected us to scramble in traffic to pick up whatever it was he threw at us. That transmission was clear. From here people began to speak normally and to be heard normally.

The next thing you know its winter and the sister takes a snow covered corner too fast. The car went over the side and into the water. I got out of the car and onto an embankment. All three of us were walking on this small bit of land that turned into a 6 tier metal structure. As we walked we bumped into a man who was holding an old witch hostage. She was being led to be killed. The man took my family hostage, too. As we walked I attempted to escape but the man held a gun to my sister's head and said he'd kill her if I tried again to get away. I realized the only way to escape was to jump to the tier below where he couldn't get to me. He was going to kill us all, we weren't getting out alive. So I jumped. I made it to the 5th tier. He was cussing mad and pushed my mother and sister to hurry their steps. I followed them below. My sister tried to jump but slipped over the side, the mother ended up dead as well. I saw her body float in the icy water.

The next thing in the dream was the man, the witch and one of the most disturbing things I've ever seen in my life. My mother and sister were made into a topsy turvy doll. They were cut off from the torso down, sewn together and had doll clothes on like they were part of a circus. My sister's jaw was put back together like the mouth of a ventriloquist dummy. The mother was at the bottom, my sister was at the top. The skirt was laying so they could both be seen. The witch laid beside three white babies wrapped in white sheets between her and the human topsy turvy doll. She said, "perfect". The scene was finally perfect for the man to come in and sacrifice the witch and the three babies, all while capturing it on film. The female witch believed this to be her ultimate, beautiful ending. (end)

Thoughts:  We only heard her voice. We were isolated and under her control. In real life she changed quickly like the time of day and the seasons in the dream. Life with her could be just fine while traveling down the highway but it changed abruptly with life being threatened. We stayed captive to her insanity and violence, fear tactics and visual interpretations of the world. When it was all said and done, I was the only one to make it out with my life. Real life proves to be a mix of anger and fear as I process the details of her decline. How fitting, the last memory of her is horrible, unforgettable. In the dream my sister showed herself helpless and unable to escape the mother. In the dream the mother lie dead, faking a smile on her frozen face. In real life she can't just leave, die. No, she's gotta die in such a way that leaves a person skinned to the bone by fear and with imagery fit for a horror show.

Over the years many have gotten to know the details of my story. Some might feel the way she died in real life was horrible and disturbing yet deserved. Along time ago I may have agreed but right now the only thing I feel is afraid and sad. I keep trying to kick it out of my head so I don't lose my sanity. Yes, she's guilty as sin, but she was my mother.

Jordan

Published on Categories Abuse, PTSD, The People Behind My Eyes

About Faith

SUNDRIP – Art for Life is a site that expresses in every media possible an intimate look into the life of a person living with major trauma. The issues addressed in art and writing include Dissociative Identity Disorder, Post Traumatic Stress Disorder, Lupus and CRSD. Despite these issues, I intend to move forward, through and out with honor, grace and creativity.

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