There are things I want to explain about Dissociative Identity Disorder and different levels of co-consciousness as well as skepticism from readers. This issue is being discussed because it was raised to me twice.
Here is a quick FYI concerning switching personalities and preconceived ideas.
- Switching personalities doesn't necessarily mean I am completely blacked out and unaware of what's going on.
- It is a misconception that a person with DID/ Multiple Personality Disorder is always unaware of the other personalities.
- It's not always the case that onlookers will be able to tell that a person has switched personalities.
- Its also not true that we can get away with things by blaming it on our other personalities. We are legally responsible for our behavior just as most anyone else.
- It's not true that you should fear us.
Most with DID will not make it known to everyone. We may be open on the internet but we usually do not disclose details of the disorder to even our closest friends. People off line that know I have DID are few and far between.
The disorder is very personal.
- We fear what others will think.
- We are concerned others will watch our every move and use our disorder against us by saying, "Maybe it was one of your personalities." Teasing is a big concern.
- We are not a sideshow.
- The vast majority of us do not desire to be the center of attention.
- The vast majority of us fear being exposed as having the disorder.
- Our off line life is filled with covering up why we are so different at times.
There's something so very different about typing into the big unknown called the internet. There are trust risks I'm willing to take on this journal that I'm not willing to take with people when I'm off line. We want people to understand us but there is a huge risk in telling people. We fear rejection and skepticism. That's exactly why I'm writing this, concern for skepticism. The last thing a survivor needs is comments that challenge the validity of their issues. If you have skepticism, it is best you manage it somewhere other than here. If you think my details are exaggerated and too extreme to be true, that's fine, but there's no reason to tell me about it. I'm not going to stop and try to convince you of the truth.
I guess I would ask a new reader to remember that I am sensitive, afraid, troubled, fragile and strong all at the same time. I'm human. I can be all over the map with thought processes. Most of us won't fit a preconceived idea. If you're expecting me to do that, you will be disappointed.
I ask that you remember that you're coming in at the middle of 'the story' having missed years of key information.
Clearly, I'm having some issues with this and want to put us a shield around myself. I don't see a reason or what good can come from blasting someone you don't even know. If you are skeptical just move on. There's no need to blast the person. Please use your humanity and just move on.
Its no great accomplishment to be big, bad and anonymous. All the same, comments with cruelty will never, ever see the light of day on this blog. They will be deleted like the garbage they are.
With sincerity and unwavering resolve for my healing process,