Skip to content

Frogs. Leaves. Purr. Building Up.

The first stuff is that Mary Jane hasn't been well for nearly three weeks. She stays in the same spot in the corner. She still eats, drinks and uses the restroom but she is doesn't play or come to visit me in the room. I hope beyond anything that she's just hot. She's wearing a fur coat in August, inside an apartment without central air conditioning. She wakes up screaming (yowling). Sometimes she acts confused. She's been checked at the vet and there's nothing medically wrong other than that she's old. Why can't they live forever?

I allowed a local guy to adopted all three of my firebelly toads because they were going to a community in a large vivarium home. I was only going to adopt out Steve but I really liked the idea of Steve taking along a familiar face. I let Flip Flop and Guy go with him but that left me with one frog, Pete the African Clawed Frog. Since then I've gone into violent frog withdrawals. Yes, violent ones. I only hear Pete sing at night which is sad because I love to hear frog's sing...or bark which is the case with Firebelly Toads. 

I knew I wanted another frog and thought I would try a dart frog, but I'm not convinced yet that keeping it is right. There's a whole story about why I'm not certain its ethical to keep that specific animal as a pet. It's along the same lines as keeping snakes as pets. Even when bred in captivity, I just don't think its right for some species to be kept as pets.

Anyway, I ordered a green tree frog from a local pet store and expect to see a frog soon. I'll have just one, as these guys like to live alone. I'll have a female who will enjoy a bio-active terrarium home for the type of tree frog she is.

I know Fall hasn't even gotten here yet but, I was worried about not having enough to get into during winter when I'll be home even more than now. Adding one frog to my two fish tanks and my cat should keep me busy. The aquariums are easy set ups. One has Pete and goldfish in it while the other is live bearers such as Sunset Platys and Guppies.

I have one tiny little snail in his own terrarium which has creeping fig, a little piece of drift wood and a tiny patch of moss. The terrarium is made from an old Mayo jar. I drilled a hole in the lid so I could add string to hang it in the best spot.

My anxiety level has caused a spike in the number of terrariums I make ranging from baby food jars to a 5 gallon glass jars. I had to rework my plant and frog area to better organize and display them. I've also sold a few locally and have gifted some. Making those little eco systems is so relaxing.

Recently I've had a string of self destructive thoughts, not suicidal thoughts but self destructive ones. Instead of tearing down I build up, sometimes in the form of a terrarium and other times in the form of self care. Abandonment issues are a problem. Accepting my brother's death is a problem. Letting my sister go is a problem. I feel guilt and anger turned inward. Instead of acting on the desire to destroy myself I support life in some way.

I have thoroughly enjoyed seeing goldfish in this house again. Man has it been way too long without them. I enjoy seeing my live bearers give birth, new leaves unfold on plants and Pete swimming around in his watery home. I look forward to the new tree frog and cherish each day I have with my best buddy Mary Jane.

Faith

Published on Categories The People Behind My EyesTags , ,

About Faith

SUNDRIP – Art for Life is a site that expresses in every media possible an intimate look into the life of a person living with major trauma. The issues addressed in art and writing include Dissociative Identity Disorder, Post Traumatic Stress Disorder, Lupus and CRSD. Despite these issues, I intend to move forward, through and out with honor, grace and creativity.

No need to feel nervous, comment if you'd like.

%d bloggers like this: