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It’s going to kill you

Reality is going to kill you.

She takes her trip to the Netherlands and for what, to add it to the countries she's visited. I wish she could visit reality. I wish she could see her true self in the mirror and then fade to nothing from the gravity of her errors, her crimes. I wish she could be crushed by it. She hurt my mother. She really hurt her.

I hate your faces. I hate the way you walk and the way you drive and talk on the phone at the same time as if you're someone we should stop and ask, who is that?

Today you told me I'm worthless, useless. I didn't skip a beat. I didn't strike back. I didn't back down, I just kept on going, as usual.

One of my favorite movies the girl is crying on her knees and says, I'm not worthless. I'm not worthless. She worked so hard to wipe the dirt from herself, to be respectable, but she still fought stigma and the times. Times have not changed, women are still the object valued in dollars and cents, or with our clothes off.

I am not worthless. I've wiped the dirt off my face. I've paid for crimes I didn't commit. Don't say I'm worthless. Don't say anything at all. Slip into the cloud of reality, smell it, taste it. It's going to break you. Reality is going to break you, something should.

The Netherlands. You're going to the Netherlands. Conquer that, too.

I am not worthless.

I am not worthless.

Published on Categories Abuse, POETRY, PTSD, The People Behind My EyesTags ,

About Faith

SUNDRIP – Art for Life is a site that expresses in every media possible an intimate look into the life of a person living with major trauma. The issues addressed in art and writing include Dissociative Identity Disorder, Post Traumatic Stress Disorder, Lupus and CRSD. Despite these issues, I intend to move forward, through and out with honor, grace and creativity.

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