It takes a bit to accept things and it takes a bit to be able to do what's best for Jane. When she was seen a month ago ?? concerning her condition, I knew she was in trouble but she seemed to get better. She gained a few ounces and things appeared to be looking up, but I understand the road ahead isn't one that can be taken with confidence, not here with me.
I know Jane is 16 years old with feline renal failure. I know there are still things that can be done, but those things cost. What I decided to do, and what I talked over with friends for the last two days, is to surrender Jane to a low kill shelter. I will bring in all her paper work and tell them all that's been done for her here. I will tell them that I'm surrendering her because I know more can be done but not on my income. I don't make enough for the ongoing cost. Even if I moved to a low income apartment, I couldn't afford the care Jane needs.
My cat is everything to me, everything, so if it means surrendering her so she has more than half a chance of being given the ongoing medication she may benefit from then that's what should be done. Other than the recent issues and basic dental care, Jane has been the picture of health. She's up to date on everything but she does have at least one other tooth that needs to come out. She's had fleas twice in the last 12 years with me, and both were handled quickly. She is negative for heartworms.
I loved her in care the way I would a human child.
I don't know how it will turn out for her, but I do know this day and age, things have changed for senior cats with health issues. There are foster homes for senior cats in need as well as adoptive homes. Jane's personality will be a plus. She doesn't know a single stranger. She's not destructive with her nails. She'll let you brush her teeth. Other than recent leaking, she used the litter box 100% of the time. She's playful but slumbers quite a bit. She knows boundaries and responds to 'no'. She comes when called, loves to be held, is good with dogs that are bigger than she is but not so great with smaller dogs. She's not picky with food. Jane's personality and temperament is really good. After stabilization, she'll do well in a foster home, if that chance is given to her.
I will go to therapy today, stop by to pick up the frog and come straight back. With my health conditions, I'll need to sleep nearly 4 hours to recover for the two I'll be gone which is why Jane isn't being taken in today. I have to recover from therapy and going to get the frog. When I wake, I'll spend the rest of the day with Jane, but tomorrow at 1 pm I will take Jane in for the next phase in her and my life. This is better than simply putting her down. I can't put Jane down. I can not do that.
There isn't enough medication or wine in the world to make this tolerable. May God have mercy on us.