I'm behind on everything. Today I need to complete some reading and write a few things up. I also need to clean my studio area so I can start a painting that is now 10 days behind schedule. The good thing is, I know what I'm painting. There's no need to stress over it.
I'm stressing over the light bill. In 7 days time it's due and I don't have but twenty dollars to my name. It worries me. I don't think I've been in this position in a very long time. I'm going to keep painting, keep sewing and keep praying that my needs will get met. Yeah, I'm worried.
I'm still trying to rearrange the apartment so it's back to where it was before it turned into a psych ward that held one patient, me, who fell to depression for months. I can tell I wasn't myself, that the way I lived was fueled by depression. So now begins damage control. Fortunately, I was messy in an organized way. There are no clean clothes in this house but they've been placed in the proper bins. There are no clean towels, those too are in their proper laundry bin. The dishes haven't been done but at least I rinsed everything and put them in the sink neatly. Basically, I made the clean up effort less strenuous, less of an ordeal. There's money for one load of laundry this month, just one.
Where did all the money go? It went to the vet for Mary Jane. I'm still too raw to touch the subject. I don't even talk about it in therapy. I don't regret getting her medical care. I'd do it again in a heartbeat but, that's the answer to why things are so short this month. ... my gracious I miss my girl. I miss her so much.
Today during my grocery outing I stumbled on Ginger Chai that looked so good, but I quickly realized I could make this on my own. Right now I'm having Adrak wali Chai and vegetable samosa. I don't know how others do it but I keep samosa filling in the freezer and keep crust in the fridge for quick access. I use a Somalian style recipe for lamb or beef fillings.
I love that little store because people from all over go there and interact with one another. Even though many don't speak English well, we all seem to be okay with so many different nationalities under one roof. Today I purchased the bulk of their fresh lemongrass which made me the target of much teasing. People I don't even know joked about taking my lemongrass. Then this one lady stood in the middle of the aisle with a large carrot and said, "Look, it's a carrot." Several of us stopped because we were stunned that she was so impressed with a carrot, a basic garden grown carrot. Then she said, "I know what carrots are but this one is the biggest carrot I've ever seen." It was funny. You had to be there to see a woman impressed by a normal size carrot. I felt bad for her. She needs to get out more. I was messing with her and handed her. I said to her, "This is ginger, it's normal size though." I wasn't the only one to introduce her to normal size veggies and roots. People kept doing that to her, Look it's a potato. Look, it's okra.
That store has wonderful tea supplies. It's a tea lovers paradise there.
So here I sit after an eventful grocery store visit, in my messy yet organized home, drinking tea and eating a hot snack. I know I'm dead broke but this is a good moment. It's been a good day.
I have to go study now, but I see more tea in my evening. It should be something simple yet soul satisfying.