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Walking While Black

Sir Clyde Austin looking Kingly

Racism and the police lives on.

Today I was harassed by the police for the crime of walking while black. It would appear that a black woman walking her dog warrants harassment.

Clyde and I were originally only going to go for a short walk but I decided to go down to the park, circle around and come back. As I got to the entrance of the park I noticed a police car coming towards me. I noticed him because the guy in front of him was nervous. He was relieved to see the police officer pull into the park and let him go on. I laughed inside and thought, "Maaannn u know u got weed in dat car." I chuckled inside and thought nothing else..... until I noticed the officer focused on me. That's when I got nervous.

Despite being nervous, I kept with the training I was doing with Sir Clyde. I had him stop and sit before we crossed to the other sidewalk. The point is to 1) alert me to a change in the surface of the pavement. I need to either step down or up and 2) have Clyde alert me to traffic as we cross the street. There's a long story behind why this particular training is important. Anyway, I had Clyde sit as an alert. The officer rolled up to me, rolled his window down and looked at me. I stopped, looked at him and waited for him to say something. He said nothing. I kept on walking, kept working with Clyde.

As we crossed the road for the second time the police officer left the park and drove beside me. I said nothing to him but kept my training with Clyde. I said, "Clyde, find home." That is a very important thing for him to learn and goes along with training associated with Dissociative Identity Disorder. I sometimes get lost and can't find my way home. I sometimes switch to a child personality and shouldn't walk in the street. With Clyde's training he'll be able to help a child alter  cross the street if necessary and get us home safely from a good distance away from home. My personalities know to give their leader dog these commands because our leader dog Captain was taught these very things.

As Clyde walked me home the police officer rolled up beside me with his passenger window down, looking me dead in the face. I said nothing, not a word. I remember thinking, I don't have ID on me. I was only taking Clyde to use the restroom but decided to do a short training session with him. I hadn't intended to walk that far. I didn't know I'd possibly need it. I was pleased to know Clyde was properly tagged and is up to date on his shots. I also thought, is he going to find a reason to shoot me? I thought, he needs to shoot to kill because I can't survive anything else. I'm too tired for recovery. If you're going to shoot me, take me out, please.

Needless to say, I was scared to death, but I got home safely. It's been a long time since the police harassed me to this degree. How many times have I been to that park in the last 4 years, hundreds of times? How many ball games have I watched there? How many soccer matches and zen walks have I taken in that park with no trouble at all? Today was a sad day for that individual who thought it was fine to harass me for the crime of walking while black.

Sir Clyde Austin Dreams of Light

It didn't take long after returning home that I was ready to take a nap. While laying down my legs began to spasm to the point that I was screaming. Today Clyde did for me what i have been needing. He automatically laid on my legs. The spasming became less and less and I fell asleep.


Published on Categories Anxiety, I'm only human, The People Behind My EyesTags

About Faith

SUNDRIP – Art for Life is a site that expresses in every media possible an intimate look into the life of a person living with major trauma. The issues addressed in art and writing include Dissociative Identity Disorder, Post Traumatic Stress Disorder, Lupus and CRSD. Despite these issues, I intend to move forward, through and out with honor, grace and creativity.

No need to feel nervous, comment if you'd like.

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