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Gratitude Expressions 8/26/18

I am, first and foremost, grateful for life itself! I'm grateful for each breath, even when it's labored, even when it hurts. I'm grateful to be alive. I'm about to be 47 years old at the end of this month. I can say I've earned each gray hair on my head which is why I refuse to ever color them.

I love my friends. I am very happy for my friend who became a great-grandmother for the first time. It's amazing to see her progeny, her beautiful family blossom and bloom over the years. How amazing it must be to know these lives all lead back to her. She has been enduring, strong and graceful during her recovery and deserves the happiness that comes with new births, dances, graduations and all those picture moments in time. I'm so happy for her right now.

I am pleased to finally get a look at my gifted 55 gallon terrarium. I knew it was being given to me and was the property of a young man who died. What I didn't know was that he painted the wood stand and top fire engine RED. Yes, bright red!!! Ha ha ha ha haaaaa! It's tacky but I shall paint it and make this free gift fit my decor.

Support system. I am so grateful for the amount of support I have. I knew there would be support moving my belongings to the new efficiency apartment but I wasn't aware I'd have help unpacking. Help unpacking has been instrumental because I'm physically unable to manage it alone. Three sisters have come here to wipe things down then unpack boxes. How wonderful is that? I've got less than half left to unpack!!! The support I've been given through this entire ordeal has been phenomenal. It has been from several states, too. Long distance well wishes and prayers were most appreciated.

I'm grateful to the maker of Poptarts because those things are a great midnight snack. They're easy to unwrap with hands that don't want to cooperate. The packaging is handicap friendly. lol. Thank you to Captain Crunch cereal, too. You know that stuff is awesome.

I'm grateful for art because without it I'd be stopped up and shut down. It doesn't matter to me if I make a master piece, I just put paint on paper and enjoy the process of creating. I put anxiety on paper, anger on paper, loneliness and helplessness on paper. Let us not forget joy and peace placed in color.

I was very pleased to see my entire collection of Maya Angelou packed away. Shakespeare didn't make it and that hurts but Maya and Toni Morrison did. I have an extensive poetry and book collection. Most of it made the move. I about flipped when I saw my Negro Folklore books here! I was told these books got tossed but nope, they made it.

I am grateful for the gift of forgiveness, without it I'd hold on to so much that it would block my joy. I have to forgive my body for what happened and I have to forgive my friends for tossing stuff that should have been saved. These two things won't be all that easy to forgive because there is emotional pain inflicted. The physical part is clear why I need to offer my body forgiveness but I need to do the same for my friends who did good work but didn't do it perfectly. I have to accept that mistakes were made but that they acted out of love when they packed and cleaned my apartment during the 5 months I was ill. Forgiveness will allow me to focus on all the positives they did. Forgiveness for a few mistakes, painful though it may be, will allow me to continue to move forward with what really matters.  It lets me see the bigger picture. Forgiveness is a gift that cleans the mind and lets it think clearly, love cleaner and see clearer.

I am home. I am home and I love it. I love this little place. It feels safe. It feels like home already. Dolls, tea, music, wine, scarves, books, art and everything I love is right here. I am thrilled to pieces.

Jordan

4 thoughts on “Gratitude Expressions 8/26/18

  1. debdobalina

    As someone who has moved many, many times, I well know that moving-into-a-new-place excitement. You don't know in the beginning who you will be inside of those four walls. You don't know if you will come to love the slant of sun coming through a certain window at a certain time of day, or the odd little eccentricities of your new home. You will be discovering those as you go along, little serendipities that will cause you to squeal with delight or perhaps roll your eyes. But you'll savor the discovery of your own space with its crooks and crannies and maybe a floor that creaks in a certain area, or outside sounds that might be a bother at first, but eventually become familiar and bearable.

    I also know what it's like to move and discover that some important things didn't make it into the new home. With all you've been through that seems like an unendurable wound--but it's not. The loss will lose its sting as you settle in with your art and tea and dolls and fish.

    It makes me smile to picture you in your new home. May it prove to be a haven and a place of peace in the days and weeks and years to come.

    Reply

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