September 1st I started a gratitude art journal. I wrote down a few things I'm grateful for then decorate the page. After reading through daily entries I see the thing that pleases me most is getting basic needs met like those today. My CNA showed up! I got a shower and a hot meal and slept in a clean bed.
Today the CNA that arrived made a wonderful chicken curry dish. Tomorrow she will help do some more organizing here. This is a photo of how things are coming a long so far. I love my new art table to bits but I've still not used it. I'm not going to push it though. It'll come.
I had to talk to the main guy at the CNA company who made me cry he was so rough. He acted like I should be grateful that anyone at all is coming out. He even said, all they're coming to do is light house keeping and cooking. I said, those things matter and it matters that your company keeps calling me to say the person you scheduled for me isn't going to come out and that you'll try your best to get me someone else. It matters that I can't rely on you. The man then said, why can't you keep a CNA, are you working them too hard? He then said I'm new to the company, since the 10th of September, but I haven't had a steady CNA, why? I said, because you allow them to call off. You allow them to say they're on their way then call in 10 min later to cancel. He then reminded me that not every company allows clients to have a conversation with the owner. I guess I was supposed to be grateful for the accusations and excuses. Then he said, maybe we aren't the right company for you, like he was going to fire me or something!!!!
As he talked at me he was reading my chart. He paused and said, why do you have unskilled care for your case? He said, reading your health history you should have skilled care not a home health aide like we've been sending. He said, we need to reconsider your case so that you have more hours in the week that we come in. I thought, dang I can't get you here when three days a week, you want to come in more than that and for longer? Try the four hours 3 days a week first. I'll be more than grateful if you show up!
The hassles of a CNA company aren't new. I've had them before, for years in fact, and they have consistently performed poorly.
In the midst of illness, pain and a pain in the butt company, how does one find joy and gratitude? Interestingly enough, it's not hard. Even when things go haywire it doesn't cancel out the good. I still see the good, still experience it. Now I write it down.