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About Faith

SUNDRIP – Art for Life is a site that expresses in every media possible an intimate look into the life of a person living with major trauma. The issues addressed in art and writing include Dissociative Identity Disorder, Post Traumatic Stress Disorder, Lupus and CRSD. Despite these issues, I intend to move forward, through and out with honor, grace and creativity.

I've been reading about staying positive which can be difficult for me. One of the things I've been trying to remember is that even with my health issues, I've not lost everything. I made a short list of things I've learned to do while in bed and while pacing at home. The reason I learned these things is that it's difficult to sit. It's painful so I end up  lying down or I keep moving while I'm up. Standing still doesn't go well for me but as long as I keep moving I'm okay. So, here is my photo for the 17th of this month and my list of things I can still do:

  1. Complain. I can do that in whatever position I find myself in. I complain in English and American Sign Language. I'm currently learning French, which isn't killing me this time around.
  2. Paint. I can paint and draw while lying down. I've covered my bed so as not to ruin my mattress. It was my greatest concern that I wouldn't be able to paint because of needing to lie down so much.
  3. I can sew while lying down. This was a welcome surprise. I have to be a little more prepared but it is still possible. I just finished and adopted out two dolls and I've started on a custom order doll today.
  4. I can study and take notes in bed or on the sofa as long as I have my tablet and supplies with me. I can read and pace at the same time which I do quite often.
  5. I can produce hand written letters of encouragement to others while in bed. It's important to always reach out.
  6. I can still receive visitors if I'm on the sofa.
  7. I stand while making tea but I have a no spill cup that allows me to drink tea in bed. Yup, gotta have that tea no matter what.
  8. I can enjoy the sunshine on my face from the comfort of my bed. I can see the sky and hear the birds and ducks.
  9. My smile isn't broken because I'm lying down. I still have a sense of humor.
  10. Possibilities. Options. Hope.

...continue reading "What I can still do"

Ah, I got it. I finished her.

I went to Wally World yesterday and looked for a yellow ribbon but I couldn't find one. Despite sewing a doll by hand, painting her entire body, painting her face and sewing in yarn for hair, I can't make a bow. It's sad but true, I can't make a bow. I tried, oh how I tried but nope.

Wal-Mart (Wally World) didn't have a yellow bow so I went with white which ended up being a good choice. I also changed out the small white scarf for a little shawl. I love shawls and wear them often. Anyway, I added a red heart button that closes the shawl and then added little white bead earrings. So fun. I like her. She's all finished.

Here she is, Madison Ann the African Americana Folk Doll by Faith Austin at SUNDRIP - Art for Life. 🙂

Madison Ann is about 18 inches. Like other handmade dolls on Sundrip, she is hand painted and has soft yarn hair. I search yarn shops looking for hair that is unique, something that will compliment the character of dolls made. In this case, the yarn is intended for scarf making but when I saw it I had to use it for a black folk art doll.

Madison's dress is from upcycled material as are her undies, socks and little white shawl with red and white heart pendant button. She's wearing small white bead earrings, a white hair bow and little black shoes.

Madison's adoption process includes shipping to the United States. The administration fee 🙂 for her adoption is $39.00 via PayPal or by other arrangement. **Adopted**

Noted: The African Americana gallery has been updated to reflect the newest pieces of Black Folk art and dolls.

Thank you for visiting Sundrip

Smiles to you and yours,
Faith

1

A video for friends.

At the end of the video I said these are my 'frogs' but only Cheesy the Chubby Frog stars in this short vid. ...continue reading "Cheesy the Chubby Frog and Aquarium Therapy"

2

I told Dr. D I feel creatively constipated, and I do. I'm struggling with this painting. Her dress isn't finished. It'll eventually be a little girl in a red dress  ...continue reading "The Child’s Face. Depression Rising."

When thinking about losing Jane, I don't feel crippled by it. I feel bad about that because it's almost like I should be out here falling apart, but I'm not. I feel bad that some reached out but she died anyway. I feel bad about that but I hope they realize they did make a difference. Reaching out always makes a difference.

There's a huge hole where Janie used to be. The house isn't the same at all, but it's still better because she was once here. I think that's what I still feel the most, very grateful.

My heart is heavy concerning my brother. I heard him play the cello, my favorite instrument. I thought I was going to burst into tears. I've never heard him play the cello before, just the violin, so watching and hearing him was rather moving. A long time ago I said I never got to tell him how proud I am of his accomplishments with music and with the children's orchestra. You could see in his face that he loved his job. ...continue reading "Cats and Violins"

Rose Marie Doll SOLD Finished and ready for her new life in Southern Indiana.

This is Rose Marie, a hand stitched, hand painted, ornamental rag doll. She's about 12 inches from head to toe and wears little white undies and little black shoes.

Rose Marie is a doll that is soft to the touch and has very wavy brown hair made of super soft yarn. Her dress is made of up cycled material and detailed in gold and rose. She also wears a handmade pendant around the detailed collar of her dress.

Rose Marie has a light scent of rose and sage which compliments her gentle nature.

Wednesday she'll travel to her new home where she'll spend many happy days.

Faith

Black Raggedy Ann Doll handmade African Americana Rag doll Black folk art is some of my favorite art. It touches something in me deeply that is difficult to explain.

This is a Black Raggedy Ann doll named Madison Ann. I can't say she's finished because I keep thinking I want to add one ribbon to her hair. I know someone else who has done a ton of whimsical dolls so I'll have to ask her expert advice.

Madison Ann is about 18 inches. Like other handmade dolls on Sundrip, she is hand painted and has soft yarn hair. I search yarn shops looking for hair that is unique, something that will compliment the character of dolls made. In this case, the yarn is intended for scarf making but when I saw it I had to use it for a black folk art doll. ...continue reading "Black Raggedy Ann Doll"

I'm behind on everything. Today I need to complete some reading and write a few things up. I also need to clean my studio area so I can start a painting that is now 10 days behind schedule. The good thing is, I know what I'm painting. There's no need to stress over it.

I'm stressing over the light bill. In 7 days time it's due and I don't have but twenty dollars to my name. It worries me. I don't think I've been in this position in a very long time. I'm going to keep painting, keep sewing and keep praying that my needs will get met. Yeah, I'm worried. ...continue reading "Damage Control and Tea Time"

Today Dr. D and I discussed saying "no" to my mother and the consequences of doing so. My teeth began to chatter. I was rocking back and forth. I had to get a hold of myself.

Last night I was in the bedroom and instinctively turned to verify she wasn't in the doorway but for just a second I saw her. Obviously it was my head playing games, but for a second I thought I saw her standing there, which is why I turned to look. I had a scarf hanging over the door which created a figure in my peripheral vision. Turning to look isn't new. I have to force myself to not look at the door. I have to tell myself there's no way she's in the house, stop worrying, remember I'm safe now. But that's not enough, I have to look at the bedroom door to ease my mind. ...continue reading "Therapy Review: Control. Gaining confidence."

I often sound like I hate her. I don't. I sound like I haven't given an ounce of forgiveness. I think an important point about giving my mother forgiveness is knowing she never asked for it or acknowledged needing it. She never knew she'd received it.

Several years ago I said I give my mother full forgiveness. What that means is I asked nothing back from her crimes against me. Her debt to me was dissolved. This personal step wasn't an over night process. It was/is a personal understanding and has only to do with what was done to me. What was done to others is a totally different story.

What do I mean when I say I forgive my mother? It's clearer to explain what I don't mean.

  • Forgiveness doesn't erase guilt or payment to society for crimes against me and them.
  • My pain hasn't ended, it's been redirected and eased.
  • Even after forgiveness there is still a lot of work in therapy to complete.
  • It doesn't mean there's no anger or mean that the abuse doesn't matter.

What does forgiveness mean for me? It means and meant:

  • I stopped asking for justice in my case.
  • It meant I didn't want to kill her anymore.
  • I didn't want to see her suffer or die the way she died.
  • If ever the law decided she must be charged, I didn't want to be the one on the other end of handing down sentencing for what she did to me. That's the key right there. I didn't want to be the one to hand down sentencing.

Acknowledgement from the public, financial compensation, life in prison and even her death can not give back what was so viciously stolen away. ...continue reading "The who, what, when, where and how of forgiveness"

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