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One of my recent goals was to finish projects I started.

I know where I was going with each piece when I stopped working on them so I just picked up where I left off.

More completed work is to come.
Faith

"She feels in color"

We talked about feeling depressed in a different way than what I'm used to feeling. There's an underlying feeling of not caring about anything and just wanting someone to take out of my stomach whatever it is that's eating me alive. I'm so tired right now I can't see straight. Sleep didn't come easily.

He said it'll be important to talk to the medical doctor and to tell her that I wonder if there's a hormonal connection. Does that play into things?

He said I'm intense right now. It felt like when talking to him that my thoughts were all over the place. I was tired, holding my gigantic bear, facing the wall.

I told him that feeling suicidal isn't new for me. What's new is not caring. I always find a way out, always. I don't always fight because sometimes fighting the situation makes it worse, but I'm not one to throw in the towel anymore.

I usually feel so much that its overwhelming but now all I feel is black, a feeling of despair and that I don't care. Is that anger? Is that apathy or depression? I don't know. ...continue reading "Therapy Review: Feeling Black Hoping for Light"

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The Little ViolinistIt was to be a little girl in a red dress but it didn't quite turn out that way.

I realized early on that I am attached emotionally to this painting and that I wish to keep it for myself. Knowing I'm color sensitive, I changed the bright colors to those I can hang on my wall and see regularly. I had to tone it down.

As I toned down bright colors, I decided to allow the turquoise hair to be wild, almost crazy. I put a layer of brown over the skin but other colors still come through. As I scratched along adding turquoise and dark orange instead of bright yellow and bright red, I caught of glimpse of this wild girl holding a violin. And that's the moment the painting changed from emotion I could handle to a complete stand still. ...continue reading "The Unexpected Violin"

I'm not your Problem Girl anymore.

Problem Girl
Problem Girl - Redbubble.com

And no, I'm not Silent anymore.

PTSD Silence, I fly -Redbubble prints
Silence Redbubble

Digital art by fma

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I'm still on the hunt for a psychiatrist for better med management. I'm using a few different resources to manage the depression and anxiety now, one resource being art.

I doodle because it makes me happy. I doodle because I'm anxious. I doodle because I'm bored. I'm a doodle bug.

These were done while in bed. Some are in my art journal while others are in altered art books.

It's been difficult to move around so I've stayed close to my the bed. The watercolor pens pen is so helpful. I can move beyond colored pencils and crayons. I still use those but I like having watercolors, too. ...continue reading "Doodle. Art and Anxiety. Creative Endeavors."

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The Last Laugh II: Jester - availableI was thrilled to see that two of my art pieces got a new home today, one of which is from a Jester series called "The Last Laugh".

The series illustrates the role I was cast to play while growing up. A Jester or clown puts on a false face, parades around and makes a "fool" of himself to get a laugh. He distracts people from the real world around them and for just a tiny bit they forget. I hate clowns for that very reason and yet I feel compelled to paint them.

Every line spoken were words not my own. They haunted me and concealed my real voice and my real face from the real world. The story of my life today is a simple one. I only play the role that is me.

...continue reading "“The Last Laugh” Paintings"

Today I sold the painting "Wait for Me - Let there always be hope". When the individual saw her painting she was moved because she's going through a lot right now. This is the moment artists love, we eat it up.

As artists we put our very lives on canvas and hang it out for all to see. We love the oohh and ahhhh responses but when someone is moved right to the heart, it fuels us, validates us and propels our creative direction.

I so, so love the expression I saw on her face when I handed her the painting. I won't forget that for awhile. I feel like I was able to give someone something of value, a tiny bit of understanding and a little more rope to hold on to. It feels good.

SOLD
Always Hope - prints on Redbubble

"Wait for Me - Let there always be hope" found a wall of its own.

Art Title: Always Hope
Art by: Faith Magdalene Austin
Medium: Colored pencil and watercolor
Size: 5.5 x 8.5 inches
Finish: signed, unsealed, unmounted
Style: Abstract Expressionism, Modern

This piece has sold which means it is now only available in prints from Redbubble which is linked to on my sidebar. To see available art that can be purchased through PayPal or Etsy, please see the Available Art Gallery and Available, Too.

Thank you for visiting SUNDRIP - Art for Life

Live free. Create well.
Sundrip

4:08 pm EST
Notes: I feel like a live wire. I don't know how to throw the breaker switch. In session we went over quite a bit of art. He noted a clear distinction between my art, Jordan's art and Emery's art. We talked about feeling angry and how we don't want others to feel afraid. We know what it feels like to be on the other end of fear and we don't want to be so emotional that we scare or intimidate people. We talked about how I wish they'd kept me inside and refused to let me out like how it was a long time ago. They never let me talk to people. I shouldn't talk to people. My main role is to take the physical pain because Jordan and Emery can't, they can't take it, which leaves me. I'm bad. I'm broken and I never should have been allowed out. I mess stuff up. I told Dr. D that I should just handle the pain but I shouldn't talk to people. When the phone rings let Jordan do it. Let her do the social stuff, the volunteer stuff. Let Emery do certain things. I'll manage the body, that way I won't mess stuff up because of being mad.
Robert

5:24 pm EST
Dr. D pointed to the sketch by Emery of a woman with a cracked tea cup on her back that holds a sunflower. He asked why its cracked. Its cracked because it feels as if we aren't recuperating fast enough; our usual means of self help don't feel as effective. It might be that we've been doing this dental stuff for so long that we're depleted faster than we can recharge. We have to find ways, seek them out, in order to recharge.

We talked about the other painting in that entry with the woman inside the cup with a large sunflower. At the bottom of the drawing it says, "There is enough room to grow." Dr. D thought I meant just the opposite because of how squeezed in she is but no, she's squeezed in on all sides, pressed from all directions, but she has enough of what she needs to keep going. She's not ready to stop. We're frightened and emotionally frayed, but we're not ready to stop.

In spotting the differences in the personality type and art type of Jordan and Emery, Dr. D honed in on Emery's short and to the point artistic style. Her expressions jump off the page. She does not clutter the background.

Jordan's River by Emerywith all her imperfections Jordan is color crazy but doesn't jam the paper as full as I do. She takes you on a visual tour but she doesn't max paper the way I do.

I've done a lot of maze art in the last few days. I figured out what media I want to use for one. It won't be easy, but I want to do one of them in wax color, like the other encaustics but very detailed. I'm looking at some viable options on Amazon for an encaustic

A recent tangled / maze drawing called "The Main Event"

The Main Event horizontal by RobertJordan gives a river of color in "Color Rush".Color Rush 1 4x6I've got to go to sleep. I can't keep my eyes open any longer.
Robert

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These are recent entries in my personal sketchbook. They're mindscapes - an artists version of a CAT scan.

Wait for Me - Let there always be hope
Wait for Me - Let there always be hope

I've done my best to toss out the notion that I must create something beautiful. I have to stop feeling as if I must please viewers with a masterpiece or outdo myself. I have to stop thinking and let myself paint. It's been a challenge but I'm getting better.

 

These are photographs. When I take them out of the sketchbook I'll scan them then put them on the working wall (the wall that holds all current projects) so I can grab and do more whenever I am able.

Jordan

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Awhile ago I did an encaustic mixed media piece created with Crayola and acrylic paint. Though I liked the way it turned out I thought it might be even better toned down a bit. I decided to go back and make it less abstract. The first step was to gather all my tools.

DIY Encaustic Art Tools

Here are easy to acquire, household tools I used to melt wax and crayons for encaustic art. Since these are household used in encaustic painting, you will have to be careful to monitor the heat.

  1. Small glass jar or empty aluminum tea candle
  2. Coffee mug warmer or tea candle oil warmer
  3. Crafting iron
  4. Toothpick or small scraper such as clay tools
  5. Wax paper or Parchment paper

With those basics I was able to warm blues and greens then smooth them over the crafted canvas.

.Dollar Tree oil/wax burner .Small glass bottle of Crayola melted crayon

I mentioned in the original entry that the painting is on Viva Paper towels. Let me explain; the paper towels were layered with wax then gesso and Mod Podge until I had a nice surface. ...continue reading "DIY Encaustic Tools and Painting"

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