Skip to content

On sale now are all items in my Etsy shop and items in my Available Art Galleries until August 4th, 2017.

Color RushI'm having a sale so I can spend money in August. 🙂 I gotta buy art supplies. In other words, I'm selling art to make art.

August is the month I stock up on art supplies for the entire year. Also, I'm going to Goodwill on August 2nd to purchase some exercise equipment, among other things.

There are some fun new listings in my Etsy shop. I've put together two or three art pieces in one listing for one price. You'll find these lot listings throughout the shop.

At check out on Etsy, use coupon code ArtForArtSale17 for 25% off your total purchase until August 4th, 2017. If you would like to have a PayPal invoice, I will apply the discount to the invoice.

Trees Lot Art SaleAdditional international shipping locations upon request. I return all international shipping above $1.
Please contact me for financial assistance (layaway, payments) if needed. We will work together to put art on your walls.

Please keep in mind that I also barter. On the sidebar is a wish list from Amazon. You don't need to use Amazon but the items listed are the ones I'm looking for. I'm specifically interested in the wood burning set that I can use with encaustic art. The set is good for wood, soldering and wax work. That's at the top of the list. 🙂

Blue Wonder How does bartering work? Basically, you buy the item and send it to me. I pack up the art piece(s) you chose with corresponding price and send it to you. Easy as that. Contact me and we'll set up our agreement.

Adopt art. Take it home and love it.

I never used to have sales but these are so fun. The prospect of someone taking advantage of the sale just makes me happy. I need to work on banners and such but you can expect to see more sales. This is fun.

Happy shopping!! 🙂

Live free. Create well.
Sundrip

5

I'm still awake. I was saying a prayer before bed where I talked to God about how hard it is to say I love you even to him. I have a hard time hearing others say, "I love you." Most of the time terms of endearment irritate the snot out of me. Hun, sweetie, yuck! "I love you" will make me recoil with mistrust.

My mother told me if I didn't change my ways I'd end up like my Aunty S and die alone and unlovable. How dare she? I was told early on that I was killing her love for me. I was killing my mother's ability to love me. When younger, my sister would catch me as I walked around the corner, hit me in the stomach and say, "love hurts." She tried to tell me in better ways but it ended up being awkward. "I'd tell you I love you but you'd just do something to make me regret it." At the time I couldn't hear past the words.

Here I am at 5:53 in the morning, hours after saying a prayer, and I'm still awake because of how three words feel on my ears. To hear someone say those three words feels like a shackle has just been put on me.  ...continue reading "A hard time with the words “I love you”"

These are recent entries in my personal sketchbook. They're mindscapes - an artists version of a CAT scan.

Wait for Me - Let there always be hope
Wait for Me - Let there always be hope

I've done my best to toss out the notion that I must create something beautiful. I have to stop feeling as if I must please viewers with a masterpiece or outdo myself. I have to stop thinking and let myself paint. It's been a challenge but I'm getting better.

 

These are photographs. When I take them out of the sketchbook I'll scan them then put them on the working wall (the wall that holds all current projects) so I can grab and do more whenever I am able.

Jordan

1

Strange Sisters - Young Children in the Sun Well, that was heavy. I felt relieved after writing that story. Reading over it I'm able to see how close I stuck to reality. I'll put this to bed after I process why I said there's a reflection of me in each character in the story Tea for Christopher.

Content: Physical abuse of a young child. Processing the previous entry. No sexual abuse mentioned or discussed.

Christopher
I'm primarily Christopher in the story who tries to manage the unmanageable. I had Christopher leave home just the way I did, an unplanned exit on a night of routine abuse. I couldn't do it another night, not another second. I left Feb 2, 1992 at 10:30 pm and I never went back home. I went to a hotel that evening then got up to go to work. I never went back home.
Just like with Christopher, I did watch my little brother beaten with a dowel rod. Just like in the story, he was held down with one hand by my mother and beaten with a dowel rod until he was no longer even screaming. I walked away and left him with that monster. A few days later he was removed from our home by Child Protective Services. I felt so broken by that loss.
It is safe to say, the story Tea for Christopher was triggered by what happened the other night outside my window.

Ruby, the mother
It's interesting that the mother wasn't given a name until about the middle of the story. I realized I kept calling her 'his mother'. I didn't think too hard about a name for her but I immediately rejected Diamond. Now, the name Ruby seems appropriate only because of the color.
Why am I the mother in the story? I see how much my life revolved around creating situations that would appease my abuser while ignoring myself and my needs. An abused child is always at the beck and call of the abuser, there is no time for anything else.
I never told her, but I apologized in my heart for being a bad daughter. Though my mother left us repeatedly (a few days tops) there was a constant threat of being sent to the orphanage where my grandfather grew up. She was neglectful in criminal ways. Abandonment issues are still a huge problem for me. ...continue reading "Thoughts on Tea for Christopher"

Young Joker - SOLDArt without a wall of its own is sad.  "Young Joker" waited a little bit for the right wall to come along and it did. Packaged ever so carefully, this special art piece will travel to its destiny via US Postal System. It's a happy day when art gets adopted.

"Young Joker" is a rainbow dance around a patch of white flowers. Wrapped in the landscape are several who are finding their way through the meadow. A black bird takes the same path.

Art Title: Young Joker
Art by: Faith Magdalene Austin
Size: 8.5 Ă— 5.5
Media: Marker, acrylic
Finish: signed on front and back, unmounted, not framed

Paintings that compliment "Young Joker" can be seen in the below gallery and are available via Etsy or PayPal invoice. See the sidebar for details.

Give art a home.

Feed a starving artist. Seriously, I could use a sandwich 🙂

Faith

Emancipation - digitalI didn't know that grief would be accompanied by desperation to fill empty spaces. I used to require silence. It helped keep me calm so as not to be overwhelmed by stimuli. I now need to hear some type of program, film, theater, something. I need background noise to break the silence. Now, in silence, my head goes on and on. I go over all my mistakes and failings. I think and think some more.

It's not just that I need noise in the background to break the stream of thoughts, there's a specific noise I need. I need to hear a male voice more than a female voice. My anxiety remains sky-high and my attention span is short so I do well with 45 min TV shows and such. Two hour films feel like a commitment. Most of the time I don't sit and watch the show, I'm up tinkering with this and that, cleaning, pacing.

I didn't realize how much blame is added to his death. It's humorous that his grandmother (not my mother) feels no guilt for the cruelty she slapped him with before he died. She's smoothed it over in her head. Nope. You can't cover that up. It was profoundly immoral. ...continue reading "Grief: Didn’t you know this would break us? 1"

9

Every Direction - available When it rains it pours, and I'm soaked.

Minutes before my phone session with Dr. D I was told by my cab driver that Medicaid won't pay to transport me anymore. Of course I freaked out. I then decided I wouldn't think about this until Monday. Well, as I washed dishes (big issues with water phobia) I did so while going over what the cab driver told me. The gist of it is this: Nothing with my insurance has changed. The cab driver said she got a new contract to transport for a company which is clearly a higher paying transport. For quite some time my insurance only pays for 7 miles and only pay the cab company $10 each way. That has not changed. The only thing that has changed is the contract the cab got. I understand why I'm getting booted, I just wish she hadn't said my insurance won't pay for transportation anymore, and that's exactly what she said. That makes me mad too because she went on and on about how the change has affected so many people. She said, didn't you get a letter about it? Um, no, because you know very well there isn't a letter coming. Nothing has changed except that she made a business decision to take a contract. With this in mind, I have to search high and low to find someone who is willing to take me about 10 miles one way. That won't be easy but that's what I need to do. My insurance still covers transportation.

Dr D will continue to talk to me over the phone until I find a new cab company. I hate that though. Due to health issues, I was only able to get into see him twice a month, the other sessions were over the phone.  In our sessions we relied heavily on art. As I drew today it felt pointless, totally pointless!!! Art is how I speak..........

Our professional relationship includes trust, boundaries, honesty and humanity.
It took some time to building a working relationship, but in that relationship he is validating. He also calls me on my crap which is needed. He isn't usually blunt but there are times when he shows irritation followed by a blunt statement. lol....Those statements usually have to do with Betty. lol. Even a reader called me out on the Betty situation.... with one sentence. 🙂 I appreciate that he's going to be human and show irritation or even anger. I don't want a robot for a psychologist. I want a human being and I want to leave him at the office.

Boundaries are a huge thing for me. There was a therapist I had that gave me his home number, the number to his parents house and the number to the phone in his car. I had access to him almost 24 hours a day. That for me isn't good because it also means he has access to me 24 hours  day. In fact, he called me one time to tell me to turn on Oprah because Rosanne Bar said she has Multiple Personality Disorder. He told me about his sex life, about his boyfriend. He called me when they broke up. He called me when they fought over the house they had together. He and I had zero boundaries, zero. After that experience I no longer trusted a therapist who wanted to give me their home number. My experience with doctor's crossing boundaries is why I need Dr. D to keep his boundaries and not get so comfortable with me that he forgets to be professional. Other patients and therapists may be able to manage out of office contact and that is just fine. I have nothing negative to say about that. I don't want it because of the horrible experiences I've had.  ...continue reading "Every Direction- Patient. Psychologist. Relationship."

The Final Reign - Available"The Last Reign" is in the Visionary Original Paintings gallery as well as in my Etsy shop.

This 5.5 x 8.5 mixed media piece showcases deep colors and moody lines. It is truly a Sundrip piece in that I've painted edge to edge with imagery everywhere you look.

There are masks or what some may call face shields. There are people and washes of color. Blue, gold, black, and red shape images of human figures with history written on their faces.  ...continue reading "The Last Reign"

Heartbeat is in my sketchbook. She's 7 x 10 in ink and pencil. I'm going to have her enlarged before further work. Her heartbeat comes from her temples and stretches out to form the surface of the earth. Trees and flowers grow from her heartbeat.

Heartbeat .

Heartbeat - detail of crown.

She Realizes Her Totality
This is a half sheet pencil drawing with the same lines at the temples only the heartbeat lines go down and the face is divided. This piece is in my private sketchbook. I want a little bit of color on her but I don't want to do her in full color. I want it to be watercolor and to get it right I'm going to have to practice which means getting her printed so I can practice on something other than the original drawing.

Realize

...continue reading "Sketches and Pieces in Black and White"

Today's therapy discussion focused on family matters: mother's thorough brainwashing and effective divisive tactics, scapegoating, emotional boundaries between myself and all birth family and a recap of nightmares from a few days back. After writing this entry I was reminded of the paintings "Resilience Tree," so I included them in the entry.

Resilience Tree

I was awake all night and until around 10:30 this morning. I had my session to go over the graphically violent and blood dream about cannibals and going to a psychiatric prison for the mentally insane because I was guilty of murdering my child self, the inner child of my sister and the inner child of my brother. I'll pick up more on that topic later.

We talked about the complete lack of protection from my mother: physical, emotional and spiritual responsibilities were ignored or out right withheld.

...continue reading "Therapy Review: Spillway. Resilience"

%d bloggers like this: