I'm still awake, a bit nervous and going back and forth between wanting to isolate and feeling nervous. I've got YouTube playing as well as music on the ipod and a game on the tablet. It's as if there's so much anxiety I don't know what to do with it. I'm running emotionally.
I set up the new frog tank and listened to the Waterfall which sounded so peaceful. I considered laying down to relax and listen but I was afraid to let go.
I had a dream that my mother drove a car with my sister in the passenger's seat while I hung outside of the car enjoying the breeze. At one point I told my mother I wanted in the car but she refused to let me in. She sped up then turned a corner and slammed into a red car. In slow motion I saw my mother and sister sustain injuries they could not survive. I was thrown beyond the wreckage where I was in and out of consciousness. On a rescue gurney I asked about my family. They wouldn't answer. I was in and out of consciousness and realized I was dying. I knew better than to look at my body. I figured I was messed up pretty badly. I closed my eyes and slipped away.
In another dream the same night, I was a kitten in a feral community. My momma took me to an abandoned house where another cat brought her young kitten. The kitten curled up next to me to sleep. I thought it was the greatest thing ever.
I'm going to do a copy paste from my Facebook page.
Thank you, thank you, thank you to everyone who contributed or purchased art. It's appreciated. I tell ya, it came on time bc my girl is in pain and I can't stand it. Man, it's hard to watch her suffer.
BTW - when there is a need that I see on the net please know that even if it's $2 or $4 I will, do and have donated. It's been done for me. I strongly believe that one should share their blessings, it makes them sweeter.
Thank you again for helping my girl Mary Jane continue her life with me in a pain-free way. I'd like to add that a friend of mine here in Indy asked why the cost was so low bc her aunts vet was so high, my requested need seemed odd. The blessing in that is, the vet isn't charging me for anything but a standard cleaning with blood work and proper anesthesia. He is not charging me for extractions (3 in the mouth of a 16 year old kitty).
I'm still working with different types of abstract. I did this while watching a video. I like the loose colors.
I've also been working with my palette knives but I thought it best to work in gesso for texture then add color over it later if desired. I've got a full gallon on gesso which I love working with.
Art Title: Abstract Hummingbird Art by: Faith Magdalene Austin Media: Watercolor on 98lb artists paper Size: 5.5 x 8.5 Finish: unsealed, signed on the front and back, unmounted Style: Abstract, Nature
I've got an art sale going on for the Fang Fund, for Mary Jane's much needed dental work. Use the following code at check out. If you desire to use PayPal instead of Etsy please let me know and I'll create an invoice with the discount. All contact information is on the sidebar.
*** SALE --------- FangFund16 coupon code 35% off --------- SALE ***
Funds needed for her dental work started off at $250. The need is now $159.00. Thank you for your donations and purchases that stay in PayPal until all is raised to meet her need, then I'll stop begging. You can fully expect more intense begging as March draws near. I'm watching my baby in pain and it's difficult. I swear that's not a guilt trip, it's just the truth, I'm watching this girl hurt and there's not a darn thing I can do about it....other than paint and paint is what I'm doing. ...continue reading →
Jane gets a bath today. Thank goodness for the Maine Coon in her or I'd need medical attention after. She still has all her claws and a fang. She does just fine with water. No fighting, no death threats or plans to assassinate me later...It's quick and simple. I dry her with an extra fluffy towel, brush her a bit then let her go.
She sulks some after she's seen her beautiful fur flat against her body in rat style. That's when I get the look, you've ruined my fur. I trusted you!!!! Look at me. I look like a rat. Just cause you have bad hair doesn't mean I have to.... She grooms in a panic but still looks like a rat-cat thing, then she goes to sleep. That's how bath day has always been for little Jane.
Now that I've written it all out it seems like a lot of work. Maybe I'll just take a nap.
I was somewhat angry and agitated about meeting with Dr Yes when it wasn't planned until the last minute. I feared abandonment with shaming. I also thought, I can go in there and talk to them calmly and see what can be done.
I got there. I put on my skirt and blouse, arranged my hair, got on the earrings, grabbed my shoulder bag and arrived on time. When I got there I was told it was a mistake, the automated machine called when it shouldn't have. They said, we do have your script though. I said, I really feel like I need to talk to Dr. Yes about the phone conversation. With four women in the room I said, do any of you know who I spoke to? Who was it that I spoke to extensively about the medication? All of them said it wasn't them. I said, I spoke to someone who was forceful and demeaning. One woman said, "You spoke to Robin." I said, okay. Still calm I explained that she questioned the script, told me I wasn't doing anything for myself and did I expect to take these pills for the rest of my life? I said to the woman at the desk. I'll have this illness for the rest of my life, but the point is, the way that woman spoke to me caused me to want to fire Dr. Yes because I thought that information was coming from him. She said, this isn't new, you need to speak to the office manager. I said, ok. The way I felt that day talking to her isn't the first time I hung up feeling horrible about myself.
Back in the manager's office I sent went through the entire store. The manager then said, "I've had enough of Robin, enough is enough." She explained that its not the first time and that the formal complaint will go in her personnel file. ...continue reading →
I can't remember the last time I slept so long, still I crumple my hand over my face with high anxiety. I keep cupping my mouth and nose with my hands teepee-style. My eyes dart around the room as if I'm looking for somewhere to go, yet I feel better than I have in days.
My shoulders tingle with anxiety and pain. I place my hand open palm on the center of my chest and rock. I can feel tears want to come, but they don't. I feel wild. I feel better than I have in days, yet everything I just described I've done since I started trying to write this entry, who knows how long ago.
Mary Jane needs another extractions. Her other fang needs to come out and other teeth need to be cared for.
One photo shows her with a fang already removed, the second photo is of my old cat on an old chair with an old soft toy and an old blanket.
As forward as it is, I want to say that any art sales from here on will go to the "Fang Fund" which needs $250.00. I will update the monetary need and I will continue to make art available in the following locations.
Need is now $211
*Available Art" galleries here on Sundrip
If you would like to donate even a buck you may send that donation to my PayPal email address at SundripJournals@gmail.com.
(Please do not make purchases from Redbubble as I will not receive funds in time to meet Mary Jane's needs)
When the $250 has been raised through sales and/or donations, I remove the note for need. $50 of the needed funds is what I currently owe the vet. $200 is for the full dental work and the other extraction.
Mary Jane is 16 years old and in good health, except for her teeth. She is in a lot of pain, pain I didn't realize was there until the emergency vet visit the other day.
This is a nothing entry....something to toss up here so I can stamp time saying I was here.
So we're here, hanging around and its time for a cup of hot chocolate. Snow goes to get the cups and says, "You don't have any hot chocolate. Faith, it's empty." Me - "What, no, there should be a little bit left.
Snow - "No" she said admittedly, "It's empty." I was like,"No! Why? Whyyyy?"
Turns out I had no hot chocolate, twas true. It was empty. There was nothing but a spoon with trace particles of multisyllabic chemicals, synthetic fillers and artificial coloring. The world had dealt its last blow, a sucker punch!
After we got back from the vet I gave Jane her medication and we both went to bed. She's beside me now purring like she always does only now it's with one less fang.
Dream: I woke from a dream about antique dolls with two faces. Hundreds of antique dolls at various levels of decay burst from the rotted ceiling and created a pile right up to the broken ceiling beams. Most of the dolls were from other countries, some large, some small. An Arabic man pulled at them with a rake to get the rest to come down. As they passed me I looked for any doll that looked like me, a black doll. From the hundreds that fell through the hole in the ceiling, I was able to see, but not keep, a few dolls that looked like me. These divided dolls were filled with sawdust or covered with porcelain. Some appeared to have been quite fine in their day. I woke from there. Mary Jane needed medication.
Here's how it started.
I went to the store Tuesday afternoon then came home to find Mary Jane bleeding from her mouth. Her chest had trails of blood and her paws were very bloody. She was frightened and crying. I was trying my best not to freak out. I called Snow to come help because I wasn't sure what was wrong or what Janie would need. I told Snow, if you can't stand the sight of blood on Jane and you can't stand to hear her cry this way then you will be of no help to me. I need someone stable. Snow manned up and put her superwoman suit on.