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I'm not brave. I'm not. I'm not rolling with the punches, I'm just getting punched. As I said, I've walked through the fire and I'm all burned up. I'm skinny, starving for a moment of real rest, of relief. ...continue reading "The Brave Face"

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"The Unseen" is a painting by my 12 year old alter named Michelle who has been out quite a bit lately. She's doing therapy with Dr. D right now so there will surely be more art from her displayed on the blog.

The art piece was started by layering paint then smearing ink until she found an image she wanted to pull.

She prefers the 'dirty art' look and doesn't pay attention to if it's considered pretty. She layers faces and shadows, piling them one on the other in burnt orange, turquoise, black and a bit of white. There is also a large bird and an abstract tree that roots from the head of the main face.

Title: The Unseen (original art)
Art by: Faith Magdalene Austin
Media: Acrylic, ink on paper
Size: 7 x 10
Finish: Signed, heat sealed, unmounted
Style: Abstract Surreal

I was recently asked why I don't do larger art. I still do most creating, including this piece and small sewing projects, while in bed. My mattress is covered well so as not to look like a painters pallet. I've also got a nice little sewing box. Because so much time is spent in bed, I won't be able to complete large art projects. It's one of the things I had to accept awhile back. I do what I am capable of doing which means a lot is done in a way that accommodates Lupus and CRSD symptoms.

Even though my dog Clyde is on the bed with me as I paint, to date he has not been splattered with paint. He remains brown and white. 🙂

Sir Clyde Austin Dreams of Light

The original painting called, "The Unseen" is available through Etsy or PayPal.

Faith

She had a wide range of peculiarities but one constant; her mouth was always wide open.

Mouth Wide OpenHer violence frightened me as a child. The fact that she's still alive makes me a bit uncomfortable.

The woman with the split earlobe laughed loudly, sang loudly, slapped you on the back while laughing and did everything over the top. It wasn't mental illness, it was plain madness.  ...continue reading "Wide"

Slaw

Art Title: Slaw
Art by: Faith Magdalene Austin
Size: 8.5 x 5.5 inches
Media: Watercolor, ink
Finish: signed, dated, heat sealed, unmounted
Style: Outsider Art, Surreal

I think my friend Angie got me started on watercolor pens. I'm happy she did. I all but ruined my first set but have since acquired a new set which I totally love. My next art supply purchase will be a second small pallet I can take with me to therapy. As it turns out, the watercolors have taken on a large role in art during therapy sessions.

Original surreal art showing an array of faces, colors, lines and expressive movement.

Art Title: Cacophony: Head Noise
Art by: Faith Magdalene Austin
Size: 8.5 x 5.5
Media: Mixed, acrylic, marker on 98 lb sketchbook paper
Finish: signed, dated, heat sealed, unmounted, raw
Style: Surreal, Illustration

Faith

I finished her! Yay!
She looks a lot different from the last post. What a difference a few hours can make.
The Little More Girl - available

The Little More Girl has more hope and more ways to grow than she ever realized.

I think part of my happy clap is the frog green dress she's wearing. I also do a happy clap for pink and purple. Add all three and I'm thrilled to bits. ...continue reading "The Little More Girl"

I tend to work on many pieces at one time, including this little one here.  She was created by scribbling loops on the page, erasing in areas then connecting lines to picture this little girl. The other drawing in this entry was created by the same process of  loops, lines and pearls.

The Little More Girl

Sketchbook art in watercolor.

She grew up with more than Lupus. She grew up with the ability to imagine and do more than anyone thought she could.

Scribble art: loops, lines and pearlsIf I became too annoyed with myself concerning my lack of focus and the many half started paintings, I'd be too discouraged to finish anything. I'm going with the flow. I put a few more lines to one drawing then work with another. I add paint to one piece then add the last thing, my signature.

I sometimes assembly line work with one color. I lay out 4 or 5 paintings and add the color to each. I let them dry then do the same thing to the next batch.

My way of working can be frustrates me. I think I'm not getting anywhere, that is until I put the finishing touches on 5 art pieces in one day. That's when I realize my focus is off a bit and I feel scattered, but I'm still finishing artwork. Recently, finishing art has taken longer but I'm willing to accept that too, especially since I am finishing art. I have four sketch journals I could think of as failed finishes or a head start to the finish line. I choose the latter.

Faith

9/22/17-9:13 pm EST

Guess what was bartered today? Guess who gets a new home? Red Balloon! Good choice.

Sam's Red Balloon - SOLD

The African American boy with blue accents around his eyes stands tall in front of a rainbow background. There's a faint show of a crown of small, round lights circling young Sam's head. Open the detailed image and look closely, you'll see it.
Sam's crownYour light is still there, even if other's can't readily see it. So when it glows only above your head just remember, your light shines to guide you, not others.

Art Title: Sam's Red Balloon
Size: 8.5 x 5.5
Media: watercolor, 98 lb paper
Finish: unsealed, unmounted
Style: African Americana, Black Folk

I'm not your Problem Girl anymore.

Problem Girl
Problem Girl - Redbubble.com

And no, I'm not Silent anymore.

PTSD Silence, I fly -Redbubble prints
Silence Redbubble

Digital art by fma

Content: Self image. Sexual abuse w/ frank speech at times. Discussion of the mother forcing a gender role for the purpose of abuse, hatred of men, degrading women, the mother's sexuality. It's a heavy entry, one difficult to write.

Page 2 of Miss Eyes I Want to Be UsefulWe  started off going over art pieces in my sketchbook. We talked about which color I've used most and changes in how I depict figures. One art piece not posted was drawn to signify how pervasive sexual abuse was in most aspects of my young life.

Dr. D asked why I add heavy markings below the eyes. I said its all about color significance and my own symbolism. (see art therapy gallery) When I put blue under the eyes I'm trying to say that no matter what I'm going through or how negative I feel about myself, I understand on a different level that these thoughts are based on lies.  I'm able to better see that my self image isn't based on reality but abuses as a youth and young adult. ...continue reading "Therapy Review: Identity. Gender. The Mother’s Sexuality"

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