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"The Unseen" is a painting by my 12 year old alter named Michelle who has been out quite a bit lately. She's doing therapy with Dr. D right now so there will surely be more art from her displayed on the blog.

The art piece was started by layering paint then smearing ink until she found an image she wanted to pull.

She prefers the 'dirty art' look and doesn't pay attention to if it's considered pretty. She layers faces and shadows, piling them one on the other in burnt orange, turquoise, black and a bit of white. There is also a large bird and an abstract tree that roots from the head of the main face.

Title: The Unseen (original art)
Art by: Faith Magdalene Austin
Media: Acrylic, ink on paper
Size: 7 x 10
Finish: Signed, heat sealed, unmounted
Style: Abstract Surreal

I was recently asked why I don't do larger art. I still do most creating, including this piece and small sewing projects, while in bed. My mattress is covered well so as not to look like a painters pallet. I've also got a nice little sewing box. Because so much time is spent in bed, I won't be able to complete large art projects. It's one of the things I had to accept awhile back. I do what I am capable of doing which means a lot is done in a way that accommodates Lupus and CRSD symptoms.

Even though my dog Clyde is on the bed with me as I paint, to date he has not been splattered with paint. He remains brown and white. 🙂

Sir Clyde Austin Dreams of Light

The original painting called, "The Unseen" is available through Etsy or PayPal.

Faith

"She feels in color"

We talked about feeling depressed in a different way than what I'm used to feeling. There's an underlying feeling of not caring about anything and just wanting someone to take out of my stomach whatever it is that's eating me alive. I'm so tired right now I can't see straight. Sleep didn't come easily.

He said it'll be important to talk to the medical doctor and to tell her that I wonder if there's a hormonal connection. Does that play into things?

He said I'm intense right now. It felt like when talking to him that my thoughts were all over the place. I was tired, holding my gigantic bear, facing the wall.

I told him that feeling suicidal isn't new for me. What's new is not caring. I always find a way out, always. I don't always fight because sometimes fighting the situation makes it worse, but I'm not one to throw in the towel anymore.

I usually feel so much that its overwhelming but now all I feel is black, a feeling of despair and that I don't care. Is that anger? Is that apathy or depression? I don't know. ...continue reading "Therapy Review: Feeling Black Hoping for Light"

Crystal - Let the Mountains Shake
Crystal : Let the Mountain's Shake

I HATED those other themes. They weren't me at all. I couldn't stand it, but Twenty Twelve is back. Lets hope things go better this time. I so missed you Twenty Twelve. I don't like change that much. This theme fits my needs. I like it and don't want to give it up.

You may still have to come to my site to leave comments because the comment option may not appear on the WP feed. Just know you are always welcome to the webpage.

Now I can stop obsessing over this site. The comments on the WP feed may not get fixed. I have no idea how to do it and my web mistress isn't available right now. Shoot. I was starting to wonder if it's even worth going all out to get a nice theme and arrange it. If people basically read from WP then they can't see updates to pages or that there's new information on the sidebar. I'll still update it though.

...continue reading "My beloved theme is BACK!!!"

The Last Laugh - available
The Last Laugh - available

Content: Spiritual abuse. Emotional and psychological abuse, homelessness, covert sexual abuse

Mother taught me that if I do the little things right I'll do the big things right. She taught me that a strong foundation must be laid but that all foundations start with a grain of sand. Their grains packed together to support materials much stronger than a grain of sand standing alone. To build up a solid foundation we must do the small things right.

My mother taught me that I have no foundation and that my presence was like a sledgehammer against her house.

My mother taught me a scripture that says, "By my God I can climb a wall" and a scripture that says, "If a tree gets cut down it will sprout again."

My mother placed walls around me I felt I could never escape. Inside those walls she did her best to root out willfulness, individualism and hope.

My mother taught me that I can only trust her and that I don't have the intelligence to live without her. She said I'd never survive out here in the world, that she alone could protect me.

She said to tell her if anyone ever touched me wrong. It was her hands around my mouth, my neck. She touched every aspect of me and left me ruptured.

My dear mother, my poor mother is food for worms. How undignified. I hate that.

...continue reading "Lessons from Mother. Appearances Tell a Different Story."

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The Girl Who Lost Her Bird 6 - available
"The Girl Who Lost Her Bird" 1

Right now I have Grace's face in front of mine like a self portrait. Her eyes are even with mine. She looks me in the face with confidence I didn't get to see grow. I don't even know how much time has passed because time means nothing to me.

I think of Grace quite often. There were times I really needed her here to hold me and times I wish I could have been there to hold her. I didn't realize her husband could persuade her to abandon me. After all the bonding she and I did, it took me by surprise that she would end our 16 year friendship if her abusive husband demanded it.

I know that Grace would have found a way to talk to me secretly but I already found it difficult being one of her secrets, I'd never consent to being pushed further back in her treasure chest labeled, "Nobody Knows". Who wants to be closed up in a dark chest and pulled out only when the other person finds time to steal?

...continue reading "Eye to Eye – Never a Secret"

This is some of the art I'm working on. It's art on paper, of course.

One - watercolor and acrylic. She is wild and Untamed.
Cusp easel fma 1

Two - watercolor and acrylic. I've lost my way on this one so it hangs waiting for the aha moment.
Blue Sky Red Hair Sundrip Faith Austin

"Black Butterfly" -  I'd never seen a black butterfly until a year ago. When I finally saw this beauty there wasn't one but two by the flowering bush. Unforgettable. "Black Butterfly" is on the easel.
Black Butterfly

If not for the detailed view, people may have been distracted by the placement of color and missed the serenity if not joy of this little child.
"Bless the Child" is also on the easel

Bless the child - see her joy

I didn't want a large project this year because I already have 2 to complete, but I saw a painting in my head while talking to my therapist. That painting will need to hit paper. The painting I spoke of months ago and said I needed to put it on paper has yet to be done but it's on my mind heavy and will begin soon.

Faith

 

Wednesday was quiet and uneventful which is exactly how I like it here where the sun drips.

After a less than favorable awakening by Ms Kitty Extraordinaire, I played a few games of Swiped Gems Live and fell asleep. I got up a bit later and messed around with some Jade plants and a few other succulents. I messed around with the frogs, played with the cat then did some studying.

The Disconnect - AvailableThere were moments of high pain that I managed with heat and distraction but for the most part, Wednesday was quiet and lazy. I did run the vacuum in the entire apartment as well as dusting. It was well past 10 before I had the first meal of the day, egg rolls and tea.

I just realized now that it's almost 8 am. I'd ask where the day has gone but I know I slept most of it away, which is what I planned and needed. I could use 2 or 3 more days like this and I believe I'd feel my normal separation from sanity as opposed to total disconnect. lol

After the amount of deep sleep gotten these last few days, I honestly feel like I am somewhat refreshed. A bit of assurance concerning the medical doctor situation has something to do with it. I'll talk more about that later. For now, I'll just say today was a good day.

At some point I think I'll talk about this bedroom.

Jordan
8:22am EST January 2nd, 2017

Crawl 1- availableSometimes things get so messed up in my head. I see stuff out of the side of my eye, something running fast. When I turn my head it's already gone.

I forget my hands are mine, they don't even seem to belong to me. It's like I'm sitting there and suddenly there's a hand but I don't recognize it as mine.

My skin doesn't crawl but my mind does. It crawls with real or imagined emotion that can't get past my head to show, to express . It swarms in my head like bees.

There's something turning in my stomach. I bet it's glowing. It's round, moves a lot. I want to rip it out.

...continue reading "I’m not afraid of the crawl"

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She Brings Home the Light - availableShe's long. Her body and imagination stretch far, farther than anyone expected. Flowers bloom around her in every known species. Flourishing are the petals of delicate purple flowers, blooms of soft blue, golden sun yellow and soothing buttercup. She is wrapped in the color of the rainbow and holds in her hand a shining star, a beaming star whose light she keeps in her heart.

A Little History
"She Brings Home the Light" started with a simple swirl in the middle of sanded Burch wood panel. I knew I wanted a young woman to be in the middle of growth, for her to be held by but I struggled to translate the idea on canvas. I put her up and took her down more times than I can count.

I knew I was getting closer to what I wanted but there was still something missing, so on the shelf she stayed. At one point I decided I should hang her up so as to see her daily and toss around ideas of how to accurately translate the image in my head.She Brings Home the Light - available

I refused to stray from the original vision.

As time went on, by time I mean years, I added a stroke here, removed a stroke there. Ah, then the end of 2016 came and the drive to finish her grew strong. After years of strokes, dots, dabs and flower petals I knew I accurately placed the image in my head onto the panel that patiently waited to be called 'finished'. I present to you a SUNDRIP - Art for Life original called "She Brings Home the Light."

Art Title: "She Brings Home the Light"
Art by: Faith Magdalene Austin
Media: Acrylic, ink on Burch board
Size: 11.3.5 x 7.5
Finish: Hand sealed, signed on front and back,
Style: Whimsical, African American Art

Original art can be purchased through PayPal or by visiting my Etsy shop. Please see the link on the sidebar for contact information and for the Etsy link. Have questions, don't hesitate to ask.

Thanks you for visiting Sundrip,
Faith

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