Sketchbook diary

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Strange Sisters - Young Children in the Sun Well, that was heavy. I felt relieved after writing that story. Reading over it I'm able to see how close I stuck to reality. I'll put this to bed after I process why I said there's a reflection of me in each character in the story Tea for Christopher.

Content: Physical abuse of a young child. Processing the previous entry. No sexual abuse mentioned or discussed.

Christopher
I'm primarily Christopher in the story who tries to manage the unmanageable. I had Christopher leave home just the way I did, an unplanned exit on a night of routine abuse. I couldn't do it another night, not another second. I left Feb 2, 1992 at 10:30 pm and I never went back home. I went to a hotel that evening then got up to go to work. I never went back home.
Just like with Christopher, I did watch my little brother beaten with a dowel rod. Just like in the story, he was held down with one hand by my mother and beaten with a dowel rod until he was no longer even screaming. I walked away and left him with that monster. A few days later he was removed from our home by Child Protective Services. I felt so broken by that loss.
It is safe to say, the story Tea for Christopher was triggered by what happened the other night outside my window.

Ruby, the mother
It's interesting that the mother wasn't given a name until about the middle of the story. I realized I kept calling her 'his mother'. I didn't think too hard about a name for her but I immediately rejected Diamond. Now, the name Ruby seems appropriate only because of the color.
Why am I the mother in the story? I see how much my life revolved around creating situations that would appease my abuser while ignoring myself and my needs. An abused child is always at the beck and call of the abuser, there is no time for anything else.
I never told her, but I apologized in my heart for being a bad daughter. Though my mother left us repeatedly (a few days tops) there was a constant threat of being sent to the orphanage where my grandfather grew up. She was neglectful in criminal ways. Abandonment issues are still a huge problem for me. ...continue reading

with all her imperfections fmaShe's a young one with sad eyes called "With all her imperfections."

Can you love her with all her imperfections? Can you forgive her moody ways, her tendency to frown instead of smile? Can you love her shyness, her uneven horizons?

She spits out poetry like she's on a stage show before college kids smoking herbal cigarettes and talking about diversity. She'll never fit in with them because she thinks they're shallow, but she can't bring herself to stop the verse.

Her eyes have been wide shut to ambition, calling it the true path to unhappiness. Her eyes have been wide shut to the clamor of panels on the news telling her how she should feel about the newest outrage, describing it as "woke". She can't stand it. She feels too much, says too much, writes too much and excels at imperfection, but she needs you to love her. With all her imperfections, can you still love her?

Her face is the canvas of her few years of life. There's still room on her cheeks for roses, still time for the love of life to kiss her lips pink. The brow line still rises and behind sad eyes there is living hope.

Can you still love her? With all her imperfections, can you still love her?

Faith
May 7, 2017 - 7:37pm ETS

Watch over Our Children - original digital art

There is no update on the eviction threat or my sister. There's a temporary resolution to lack of transportation to see my therapist.

As always, I think of my sister every single day, just not every single second of every day.

I realize I focus on my brother's death more than my mother's. It reminds me very much of being a child who felt it was too dangerous to be angry with the abuser so she chose the safest route of blame and anger.

I can't touch my mother's dramatic exit without trembling. At least there are words to describe how I feel about my brother. I wasn't prepared for the changes his death would make in my life, but I'm not short on words, not by far. I could easily fill the heart of a violin telling him how it feels to be left this way. ...continue reading

www.sundrip.etsy.comSUNDRIP - Art for Life on Etsy is having a 35% off sale.

On sale now are all items in the Lupus CRSD category and all items in the Art Journal Originals category only.

Hop on over to Etsy, buy a bunch of stuff, then use coupon code LupusArtJournalOr17 for 35% off your total purchase. The sale is good until the 15th of the month.

Sundrip on Etsy
www.sundrip.etsy.com
Lupus CRSD
https://www.etsy.com/shop/sundrip?section_id=11542883
Art Journal Originals
https://www.etsy.com/shop/sundrip?section_id=5215986

Here's a glimpse of the original art included in the rainy day sale. ...continue reading

2 Comments

Drawing trees is soothing. I usually draw them bare. I love leaves. i like to see them up close and examine the cells. I recently learned that my sweet potato plant was holding water in the cells of the leaf because I watered too much and too late in the day. Leaves are a beautiful creation but I hardly ever draw them. I like them bare. There's something so beautifully vulnerable about a bare tree.

I love to follow the designs on bark with my finger. There's something so .... spiritual....about trees.

When it comes to art, I have a go to doodle.  I think all artists have a certain something they draw in almost a self soothing kind of way. The self soothing art for me is to draw trees with the branches reaching out, twisting and breaking through the things we can't even see. Branches break through the air, they hold themselves erect when gravity tries to pull them over. I love that they take their place in the soil and let their roots reach as far and deep as they desire.

I absolutely love above the ground root systems. Those are fun to follow, too. Of course I have to peak in the little crevices where moss grows. I admire spider webs and small bugs that scramble to get away from my curious fingers.

When I was a kid I was told that if a person draws a tree it usually represents them. I was told that putting a scar on the tree represents personal trauma. I never forgot that. Despite the psychological reasons for drawing trees, doing so is soothing for me.

Two trees displayed in this entry are Pay it Forward art pieces. You can find them in the Community Grabs and PIF section in my Etsy shop.

The first entry on trees has been posted in the Featured Art Gallery. page.

Unfortunately, the comment option may not appear on the WP feed but you are always welcome to leave one on my webpage if you desire.

"She speaks the dream" - availableLet her scream.
Let her sing
Let her speak her dreams.

Let her pant on, glide through waves of churning water and
strike back at lighting.
Let her eyes be open,
her hands
open

Let her feel the wind.
Let her rest on soft clouds.
Take her home.

Title: Mindscape - "She speaks the dream"
Art by: Faith M. Austin
Size: 5.5 x 8.5
Medium: Acrylic ink, 98 lb paper
Finish: Signed, acrylic seal, unmounted
Style: Expressive, Art Brut, Outsider Art

Original art is available in my Etsy shop or via PayPal. Contact information is on the sidebar.

I started by drawing lines with my eyes closed, later I added watercolor.

Get the Tom - available

Title: Get the Tom
Art by: Faith M. Austin
Size: 5.5 x 8.5
Media: watercolor, ink
Finish: unsealed, not mounted
Style: Abstract

You may ask yourself why the title is "Get the Tom." Well, the answer is simple. I was watching a detective show where a criminal couple stole diamonds. The man thought the woman lost the diamonds but nope, she held up her hand full and, "I've got the tom." I couldn't call the painting 'tomfoolery" now cold I? What kind of title is that? ....... As you can see, I struggle to come up with titles for my work.

Titles don't come easily but fun art does. The fun thing about "Get the Tom"  is that I took an art therapy project and turned it in to art for the sake of art. There is no back story, no profound meaning, it's just enjoyable art using watercolor and ink.

"Get the Tom" is listed as a Pay it Forward item in the Community Grabs and PIF section in my Etsy shop. In its listing you will see close up shots showing details.

Thank you,

Faith

The Final Reign - Available"The Last Reign" is in the Visionary Original Paintings gallery as well as in my Etsy shop.

This 5.5 x 8.5 mixed media piece showcases deep colors and moody lines. It is truly a Sundrip piece in that I've painted edge to edge with imagery everywhere you look.

There are masks or what some may call face shields. There are people and washes of color. Blue, gold, black, and red shape images of human figures with history written on their faces.  ...continue reading

Jane's Flowers Bloom - Available Dr. D asked why African Americana is one of my favorite types of art. I like it because its simple. I like faceless black rag dolls and faceless black art. This little 4 x 7 piece is a simple illustration of country home life. It shows a mother and child in the garden with the flowers blooming in beautiful white all around. The mother gives her daughter a single bloom.

One of the other things I appreciate most about simple, primitive art is that I can give it my own story. Did a mother give her daughter a flower or did the woman gift her younger self? Did the younger person give the flower but the hand movement isn't shown? Was the flower given on impulse of love? Maybe it was the perfect flower for the perfect friend. In primitive art such as in "Jane's flowers Bloom," the story isn't spelled out for me in strict detail; it's hinted at and whispered through the field.  ...continue reading