The first CNA they sent me didn't work out. I'm not sure what the company was thinking. Here's the text sent to a friend who is still in the nursing home dealing with CNA's, nurses and roommates from hell.
"Oh Lord! My new CNA is 70 years old. I was like, what? Who sends a 70 year old woman to help a person in a wheelchair? It's her job so I'm not holding back. I have her act as my legs. I like her but I have a feeling she'll quit by winter. She says the laundry room from my apartment is too far to walk and the trash cans are so far they might as well be in a different zip code. lol My thought? Stop being a CNA BEFORE the age of 70 or don't complain about the distance you've got to walk. 70! They can't be serious. Thank goodness I know CPR. I may have to do it on her aged self after she gets back from the trash.
Update: They're sending me a younger CNA Monday morning, 8 am. We'll see how that goes. lol. The 70 yr old CNA and I talked frankly about her inability to handle my case. Crazy to send her to me."
You know what I always worry about? How will she feel about seeing my little nub, the amputation site? Will she be grossed out? Is it ugly to her? Am I ugly to her? The thought now is, it's not ugly, it just is what it is, but it's not ugly. I'm not ugly because I've had an amputation. Slowly, I've gone from ashamed of the amputation to 'just' being a bit self conscious. Lets hope that a CNA is used to seeing such things because I have such things. Then again, I'd hate to whip it out - Bamb! - then have her pass out on my floor. ...continue reading "CNA and Self Confidence"
Journaling until I'm blue in the face. Work in progress.
"Someone Else" in watercolor and acrylic. All work shown is on 8.5 x 5.5 paper.
"Froggie Smiles". These are photographs. I'm looking forward to scanning so these look right. This is much darker than the actual painting. I'm working on the details of all these pieces. Once I have the colors in mind it doesn't take long to finish.
This last one was created for the sole purpose of testing out new paints. It's a paint pallet sheet. Sometimes when I just need to draw but there's nothing specific to do, I draw lines on paper this way and wait to use it later to test paint or clean brushes.
I got the apartment and move in Saturday! I already have the keys and lease.
I'm excited and a bit nervous, mostly excited. I have to figure out how to fit my stuff in this place. One thing I know is I'll have a 55 gallon aquarium in there! Somehow, some way, that aquarium WILL fit. I'm going to split it in half, half bedroom, half art studio w tea bar. I'll keep the doll collection in the bedroom area. I'm sure my little studio will feel like home in no time. ...continue reading "Saturday is moving day"
The Lesson is an art story about the doctor telling me about my blood system. He explained that something about my DNA steers my blood wrong. Instead of living the normal 120-90 days, my blood lives 60-30 days then begins to break down.
When the doctor told me this I thought to myself, I have bad blood, that's what makes me a bad person. This is why my mother can't love me, I'm bad from the inside out. Yup, my head took me there. So how do I rewrite a very old message of being bad and bring my thoughts more in line with the times? I paint and talk to myself.
After some healthy ground techniques I pulled out my watercolors and began to paint symbols from the doctor's visit. I painted a symbolic DNA strand and several levels of blood development.
I really enjoy painting like this. I take something medical and paint how it affected me emotionally. I'm going to keep doing this. Painting is healing for me and it allows me to process realities easier.
I apologize for the quality of the photo. All of this is still being painted, photographed and blogged from bed.
"The Lesson" by
Faith Magdalene Austin
Watercolor and ink
8.5 x 5.5
A lot of tea sipping, a lot of sleep, that's what's been going on over here.
Anxiety is very high as are my pain levels. I've got an open sore on my leg that hasn't healed in three weeks times so I have to get more treatment for it. That doesn't worry me though maybe it should. It's just that I've not been given any kind of off colored diagnosis so I'm like, it is what it is. I have Lupus, I don't heal well. It takes weeks to heal a simple wound. It would be nice if it didn't hurt so much but like I said, at this point it's just taking its own sweet time healing and hasn't morphed into something else. ...continue reading "Cuppa. Sleep. Work. I’m Better."
If ever I needed to hear a mother's wise voice it's now. For many women, we don't have the option of calling mom to ask midlife questions. We end up spinning out here, losing our minds, not understanding that there's a logical explanation for what's going on.
I have laughed at older women and thought they were making too much of hot flashes and such but here I sit at the beginning of what can only be described at hell and I am not laughing. Who knew that perimenopause and menopause would make me feel crazy? ...continue reading "A Mother’s Knowledge – The Menopause Talk"
I changed my tea painting and added a short
quote. I couldn't help myself. I like it better this way. I think it would look great in an all white frame but there wasn't one on the framing program used.
"Where there's tea there's hope" is a small painting of 4 inches by 6 inches. It's created in watercolor and ink and is on 98lb paper. The details on the flower and cup are easier to see in person.
I've also been playing with acrylic and rubbing alcohol. I cleaned my brushes of acrylic paint on a 4 x 7 piece of cardstock then went back and treated the paper with the 91 percent alcohol. I sprayed some it as well as dropped some. I swirled the paper and let it drip until I saw a pattern I liked.
I can save this textured abstract piece for later as pull art or for a collage. I could add a small cut out from my huge stash. Who knows what the cut out would be. I've got everything from figures to flowers to trees and animals, all from art that didn't work out but that had parts worth saving. I use my x-acto knife and save what can be saved for projects just like this. The other thing is, I can leave it just the way it is and frame it as a temporary piece of art just to look at for a little while. I tend to do that. I switch up art on a wall in the living room making the wall an ever changing, energized display of color and texture.
Here are a few pieces in currently hanging in my living room on the art wall.
She had a wide range of peculiarities but one constant; her mouth was always wide open.
Her violence frightened me as a child. The fact that she's still alive makes me a bit uncomfortable.
The woman with the split earlobe laughed loudly, sang loudly, slapped you on the back while laughing and did everything over the top. It wasn't mental illness, it was plain madness. ...continue reading "Wide"