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Spark
Double Therapy Page

Spark: Fire and Water now has a wall of its own. Soon it will be safely packaged up and sent on its journey.

Spark: Fire and Water is an art journal, two page spread that was offered in my Etsy shop.

Sparks of color fly as her eyes open wide to take in and hold all that grows around her. A signature of Sundrip is to have many hidden faces and objects that are seemingly random. This journal piece most certainly has the Sundrip signature along with bold chaos in color.

What will you see in this raw, collage art? You will see fragmented flowers, hair like waves of the sea, a blue girl. You'll see lines cross, curve and circle around holding tiny human figures. Crosshatch and stripes meet checkers and poles, then bring your eye back to the girl in the middle with doodles on her lips.

Two page collage and drawings in my art journal.

Faith

4

Potential - Glass half full It occurred to me that when abuse is reported the concerned person is saying that the person being abused doesn't deserve it.
The one who reports abuse is saying, this is unjust and I'm not going to sit by and let this happen.
The one reporting abuse offers their strength to the abused and offers their voice because they recognize vulnerability.
Even when done anonymous, it takes a healthy conscience and inner strength to report abuse. My mother had neither.

I understand why my mother never reported accounts of abuse we shared with her in strict detail. She never saw those kids as living beings with the universal right to safety and peace. She didn't recognize their worth. My mother probably never expected anyone to go to bat for me. How sorely she underestimated the worth of her children, too.

I honestly didn't expect  to survive her, but I did. Most days I'm happy I did because there's so much more to see and do.

Faith

Today I sold the painting "Wait for Me - Let there always be hope". When the individual saw her painting she was moved because she's going through a lot right now. This is the moment artists love, we eat it up.

As artists we put our very lives on canvas and hang it out for all to see. We love the oohh and ahhhh responses but when someone is moved right to the heart, it fuels us, validates us and propels our creative direction.

I so, so love the expression I saw on her face when I handed her the painting. I won't forget that for awhile. I feel like I was able to give someone something of value, a tiny bit of understanding and a little more rope to hold on to. It feels good.

SOLD
Always Hope - prints on Redbubble

"Wait for Me - Let there always be hope" found a wall of its own.

Art Title: Always Hope
Art by: Faith Magdalene Austin
Medium: Colored pencil and watercolor
Size: 5.5 x 8.5 inches
Finish: signed, unsealed, unmounted
Style: Abstract Expressionism, Modern

This piece has sold which means it is now only available in prints from Redbubble which is linked to on my sidebar. To see available art that can be purchased through PayPal or Etsy, please see the Available Art Gallery and Available, Too.

Thank you for visiting SUNDRIP - Art for Life

Live free. Create well.
Sundrip

I've rested a bit. I've done some reading and spent time with friends. I've managed a few sketches in my notebook and decided to snap a few shots 🙂

Half of Whole

These are two page sketchbook drawing using watercolor and colored pencil. Both have a lot of color but the one just below in grayscale was created with rich earth tones.

Hue Rich Depleted

This is the sketch at the opening of the entry with a PicsArt filter.

Half of Whole Reversed

Though yesterday was physically painful, it wasn't anywhere close to the emotional and physical pain of Monday. Today continues to be quiet. I intend to do very light housekeeping and to study a little bit for a meeting on Wednesday.

A small dinner is in the convection oven that automatically turns itself off. I'm having a pork chop and green beans with potatoes. I also have a tiny little dessert made primarily of ladyfingers, heavy whipping cream, a tad bit of cocoa and amaretto.

...continue reading "Art and Laying Around"

4:08 pm EST
Notes: I feel like a live wire. I don't know how to throw the breaker switch. In session we went over quite a bit of art. He noted a clear distinction between my art, Jordan's art and Emery's art. We talked about feeling angry and how we don't want others to feel afraid. We know what it feels like to be on the other end of fear and we don't want to be so emotional that we scare or intimidate people. We talked about how I wish they'd kept me inside and refused to let me out like how it was a long time ago. They never let me talk to people. I shouldn't talk to people. My main role is to take the physical pain because Jordan and Emery can't, they can't take it, which leaves me. I'm bad. I'm broken and I never should have been allowed out. I mess stuff up. I told Dr. D that I should just handle the pain but I shouldn't talk to people. When the phone rings let Jordan do it. Let her do the social stuff, the volunteer stuff. Let Emery do certain things. I'll manage the body, that way I won't mess stuff up because of being mad.
Robert

5:24 pm EST
Dr. D pointed to the sketch by Emery of a woman with a cracked tea cup on her back that holds a sunflower. He asked why its cracked. Its cracked because it feels as if we aren't recuperating fast enough; our usual means of self help don't feel as effective. It might be that we've been doing this dental stuff for so long that we're depleted faster than we can recharge. We have to find ways, seek them out, in order to recharge.

We talked about the other painting in that entry with the woman inside the cup with a large sunflower. At the bottom of the drawing it says, "There is enough room to grow." Dr. D thought I meant just the opposite because of how squeezed in she is but no, she's squeezed in on all sides, pressed from all directions, but she has enough of what she needs to keep going. She's not ready to stop. We're frightened and emotionally frayed, but we're not ready to stop.

In spotting the differences in the personality type and art type of Jordan and Emery, Dr. D honed in on Emery's short and to the point artistic style. Her expressions jump off the page. She does not clutter the background.

Jordan's River by Emerywith all her imperfections Jordan is color crazy but doesn't jam the paper as full as I do. She takes you on a visual tour but she doesn't max paper the way I do.

I've done a lot of maze art in the last few days. I figured out what media I want to use for one. It won't be easy, but I want to do one of them in wax color, like the other encaustics but very detailed. I'm looking at some viable options on Amazon for an encaustic

A recent tangled / maze drawing called "The Main Event"

The Main Event horizontal by RobertJordan gives a river of color in "Color Rush".Color Rush 1 4x6I've got to go to sleep. I can't keep my eyes open any longer.
Robert

Crazy don't live here anymore, but it keeps visiting.

Forty Years in the Wilderness Series

I talked to Dr. D about the general practitioner and getting fired. About 30 min in the phone session he said, I'm surprised at how well you're taking this. You seem so calm. I said, I'm not. On an anxiety scale of 1-10 I'm an eight. He said, so why are you holding back from expressing that emotion? You know you don't have to hold back for me. I said, I don't have to hold back for anyone.

I meant, I don't have to hide emotionally in therapy or from my friends. I said, I'm trying to keep it together because there are parts of me (alter personalities) that need someone to hold it together.

My GP didn't fire a person with one personality who is 45 years old. At this time in our healing process, the older personalities integrated. We now range from 19 to 3 yrs old, the oldest of us is 19 years old. We understand and often respond according to those age groups. So when the 19 year old, me, Jordan, withholds anxiety felt, it may be because there are little ones who need parenting. ...continue reading "Therapy Review: When personal demons throw stones"

1

Embarrassed- don't even look at meThe problem is that I'm embarrassed. Today will be my firs session with Dr. D after his vacation and after my closest support system has returned from Ohio. I took 2 milligrams of Klonopin about an hour ago. I think it laughed at me.

I'm going to talk to Dr. D about being fired by my general practitioner.  It'll be a phone session which will be easier to say, but I'll be in his office on the 9th.

I wanted to write the old GP a letter but I'm not sure what it would say. Then I thought, write one but don't send it. Then I thought, I'm not writing a letter to a man that assisted in destroying our working relationship.

It crossed my mind very briefly to write a letter asking that he reconsider. I just got abandoned by a jerk, dropped on my head with the legal 30 day notice, but still dropped on my head. My abandonment issues have been touched. Lord knows I should have left that private practice the first time I saw him. After that appointment I never should have gone back, but desperation is a constant companion to those with a chronic illness and we put up with a lot of crap in the name of hope. Despite the fact that he was a jackass for two years, despite leaving his office in tears repeatedly, I am embarrassed that I got sacked as a patient.  ...continue reading "High Anxiety Art – The Embarrassed Patient"

Progress in reading. Friends are away.

The Impossible Path

I have no idea how it got to be 7:30 am without a wink of sleep, but it's here and I'm wide awake. I can recount all I've done. I've been rather productive, it's just that it doesn't seem as though it should be so late.

My closest friends and biggest support system are out of town at a convention called "Don't Give Up." I so want to be there!!! I can't travel the three hours let alone sit for several hours for three days. I love that they're getting encouragement. They'll bring that back to me, but it hurts and feels as if I have been left behind. It doesn't help that my therapist is also on vacation. I have to remember that I have friends in other congregations around the city and that I'm not alone.

I can't believe I'm in the book of Revelation and will be finished with the entire Bible soon. I'm on Revelation 4 right now. Honestly, when I was a kid and read it I wasn't sure what to think.  I know certain scriptures in the book but I can't say I know what to expect because of how much time has passed since I read it. ...continue reading "While They’re Away. Sketches and Bible Reading Progress."

We're half way through the year so I thought I'd take a look at my goals and see the progress. I've listed the goals on my sidebar to have them on the front burner.

CREATION WITHOUT JUSTIFICATION

2017 Art Goals

1. Create a brand and get business cards
2. Explore more abstract art forms
3. Explore use of watercolor
4. Paint, draw, create, fearlessly

I've finalized the logo / brand.  I've finalized a business card design. The painting it came from is no longer for sale.

I'm going to say, absolutely, positively yes I'm on the right track with this goal. 🙂 I may be terribly behind on scanning but I have worked my butt off using watercolor. I've been watching a few blogs that work with ink and watercolor to see how they express themselves with that media.

If I've learned one thing it's that I need to be more prepared before I begin a project. When sketching and painting I start with a line and go from there. I have no set in stone idea of what will come out, I just let the pen or pencil move. When working with watercolor I think I need a more solid idea, something from my head to use as a guide so I lay the colors down without overwhelming the paper with a bunch of color. I will say this, I work to use watercolors correctly but I also let myself play which means I've got all kinds of failed watercolor projects and a ton of very fun explosions. I get frustrated with watercolor at times but I do enjoy it.

I'm still exploring abstract with acrylics. I've got my set of pallet knives that I love, love, love. I've been working in white gesso just making textures and such so I can later lay down some color. I've checked out a few bloggers who focus on abstract work. They've been very helpful.

Do I paint, draw and create fearlessly? Most of the time I feel I do.

There have been times when I've uploaded a drawing and one of the figures has an eye that's larger than the other. I feel like it doesn't translate well on the monitor. I worry less that sketchbook art is created blurry. I worry less about my lines, colors, all of that, especially if it's just my personal sketchbook. I just keep going. When I have a hard time feeling my fingers and have to shake them every 3 or four minutes, I do it without being too irritated. I'm shaky at times,, agitated, unable to sit and draw so I walk and draw. I let myself be who ever I am and let my health do what it's going to do. I just keep painting. I continue to draw figures the way I want to draw them, with the expression I want to use and the colors I want to use. These issues and more used to stop me from sketching but I have been working very hard to just be and create.

I'm working with four different sketchbooks as well as a few art assignments for therapy. There's a lot of art going on over here.my baby girl watching over the sunflower drawing

You know what's funny? I still take photos of myself on the 17th of each month. I've also started taking one of Mary Jane in virtually the same spot on the 17th of each month. Mary Jane, strike that pose baby girl!

Jordan

These are recent entries in my personal sketchbook. They're mindscapes - an artists version of a CAT scan.

Wait for Me - Let there always be hope
Wait for Me - Let there always be hope

I've done my best to toss out the notion that I must create something beautiful. I have to stop feeling as if I must please viewers with a masterpiece or outdo myself. I have to stop thinking and let myself paint. It's been a challenge but I'm getting better.

 

These are photographs. When I take them out of the sketchbook I'll scan them then put them on the working wall (the wall that holds all current projects) so I can grab and do more whenever I am able.

Jordan

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