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I'm behind on everything. Today I need to complete some reading and write a few things up. I also need to clean my studio area so I can start a painting that is now 10 days behind schedule. The good thing is, I know what I'm painting. There's no need to stress over it.

I'm stressing over the light bill. In 7 days time it's due and I don't have but twenty dollars to my name. It worries me. I don't think I've been in this position in a very long time. I'm going to keep painting, keep sewing and keep praying that my needs will get met. Yeah, I'm worried. ...continue reading "Damage Control and Tea Time"

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She is ridiculously adorable. This is an addition to the frog's name, not a change. C. Annie Pickle is her name. Chandler Annie Pickle. If you can't tell, I'm so lovin' this frog. Look at those big eyes. My goodness, and those crazy legs of hers. When she jumps and lands she sounds just like those gummy frogs you get out of the machines at the store. There's a splat and smack combo as she lands. I so love frogs and their crazy feet.

Little green Annie is an Australian Tree Frog aka Dumpy Frog. She'll get anywhere from 4.5 inches to 5.5 inches. I intend to get her a friend at some point.

Too, too cute. I'm having way too much fun with this frog.

Green Annie My Chubby frogs are as beautiful as ever, a rich chocolate with gold banding. I'm getting used to their call. At first it was strange to hear them but now I enjoy it. I've heard Annie call twice. 🙂 For a short while the crickets sing then the frogs. This is an orchestra with a song I've come to depend on.

When I first realized Jane was really sick, I moved out to the living room with her. This meant I spent a lot more time observing the terrariums as opposed to just working on them then coming back in the room. I'd like to keep my new observation vantage point. I like watching them move around, snatch bugs in their terrarium and explore their environment. Having a third frog that is primarily a land frog means I can watch plants grow and see the grass fill in places. I'll see their landscape change with time which is a nice thought.

Jordan

For the last year I've battled with the idea of moving. I did make a decision on it. I'm staying put for now. The only way I want to move is if the apartment with all the pluses comes open for me. I'm not stupid, I wouldn't pass up that opportunity, however, moving somewhere else isn't in my best interest at this time.

When I say I'm staying put it means I have to accept a few things; abject poverty and Boil the Bunny landlord. I can do that. I've had as little contact with Boil the Bunny  Landlord as possible. Even though I didn't take a vow of poverty, I believe it made a vow to me.

I know it's difficult here financially but it's my home and I love it. I know my friends have worried about me financially I had to tell them I am not seeking other accommodations. I do not want to move. I know the stairs often keep me captive and its financially hard here, but I am grounded. I am settled and feel a measure of peace in my home, my home.  ...continue reading "Flower power, lace draped, art strong, frog croaking wonderland"

2

I have a commission that I'm doing for a friend. It sounded fun when she brought it up but I was also apprehensive because I don't do commission work well. It's difficult for me to translate onto canvas, a vision that isn't mine. It's even difficult for me to duplicate art that I created. If the emotion has already been put on canvas, the chances of me being able to do that work again with life and texture is all but zero. Soooo, I asked my friend if I could have free artistic reign and she said yes. I was like, oh, she has no idea what those magic words mean.

She let me loose in a candy store. She gave me a brush, took me to Hobby Lobby and said, do as you will. (eyes rolling in the back of my head)

Giving me free creative reign could be considered reckless. There was one incident when I was last given the magic words, an incident that we shall not speak of because it's still in litigation. But just like I told the judge, I didn't know that stuff was flammable. lol..... I'm kidding. ...continue reading "Hold on! She said the magic words."

1

Mary Jane aka Super Cat has been more active today. She's still eating, still drinking, but is rather lethargic. She's been checked and the vet says there's nothing medically wrong with Jane other than that she's showing signs of her age. She stayed in the corner for nearly three weeks. The last week she's been out and about. She's beside me as I type which hasn't been done in a good long while. Today when I held her I could feel how much weight she's lost.

I need more time with my girl.

Jane wakes screaming. She looks for me even though I'm right in front of her. She goes to her water bowl and lays down in front of it like it's too much effort to stand and drink. She lays there looking at the water for 5 min or so then drinks. This may mean she likes her reflection but it's new behavior. ...continue reading "Mary Jane Update"

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I'm not chubby, I'm big boned.

Today I held my new frog again and he peed on me. That was not adorable, not cute. It was excessive use of frog force, wrong on all levels, and unforgettable. I've never seen anything shoot out of the back of a frog with that strength of stream. I do believe I'm traumatized. If you've ever seen a cat spray then you know what I experienced with Chubby Charlie and why I took to drinking. The smell was foul, the act emotionally damaging. lol. Why Charlie, why? Man, I gave you crickets, what do you give me, PTFD, Post Traumatic Frog Disorder. That was just ruthless, man, just ruthless.

Asian Painted Bullfrog, Banded Frog, Chubby Frog. Can he possibly have any more names?

Faith, aka Chubby Charlie's Mom, Mary Jane's sidekick, Master Mischief Maker, Drama Queen. Can I possibly have ....... never mind. I know the answer to that.

I woke this morning to find the Green Tree Frog dead. I called the company I got him from and told them about it. She's going to order me another Chubby Frog instead. I wonder though, will two males fight? This is a male, for certain, this little plump thing is male.

In photos his eyes look cloudy but when I look at him they're clear.
I hope he does well here because I really like him. He's strange looking at first but when I really look at him I see nothing but beauty. He's mellow, very chill. He didn't even slime me when I held him.

As usual, the photos are blurry. I think next time I do a physical check up on him, I'll photograph him on the mat when he's outside the tank.

I'm working my way up to a White's Tree Frog aka Dumpy Frog. I've got quite a few projects going so getting the Dumpy terrarium finished won't happen until next summer. In the mean time I'll enjoy this little guy along with my best froggy buddy Pete the African Clawed Frog. ...continue reading "Asian Painted Bullfrog. Dollhouse Update."

2

I saw the new and temporary general practitioner today. It was crazy right out of the gate. Within ten minutes of being in her presence, she suggested shock therapy. I nearly walked out. She went in to how it's not like what you see on TV and blah, blah, blah. I told her I'm not interested. She then wanted me to add Abilify to my psych meds. I don't know much about it. She said it's supposed to help make the Cymbalta work better.

I decided to call my old nurse practitioner who is retiring. She's the one who handled my psych meds. This is where trust comes in. I don't know the new GP. There is no consistency to fall back on, no working relationship, no track record to rely on so I don't know why she suggested this medication. The old nurse practitioner said that Abilify will add dopamine (the good chemical) to help with my mood so I can get out of this depression easier. Shoot. I can do that with chocolate and wine and earn the dang weight gain. Okay... I'll try the 2 mg per day.

I'm not happy about the weight gain issue especially since I just lost 10 lbs, I don't intend to be on Abilify forever. I will lose the weight and feel better in my head. I need that very badly.

Also without knowing my history, she told me to go purchase some Black Cohosh to help with Menopausal issues. I absolutely can not take that because I have had a stroke and I have a history of blood clots. Between shock therapy and just popping off with Black Cohosh, my confidence in her is minimal.

I'm horrified by the suggestion of shock therapy. When I told my old nurse practitioner said, She just threw that out there the very first time you saw her? I said, yeah, within ten min. She said. tell her you'll have it but she has to go first.

I've not seen the movie One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest, but I hear it gave people a bad view of the treatment, which is making a come back. In its defense, I've heard "Films such as One Flew Over The Cuckoo's Nest did for ECT what Jaws did for sharks". That isn't a valid argument because sharks kill people and so does shock therapy. No matter the stats, I don't do water so no horrible shark death for me. I don't do ECT which means no electrical mishaps. I don't care what you say, shocks and sharks are bad for your health.

The new GP wants to see me back in a month. In that session we will discuss pain and what I do to manage it. That session will make or break our future relationship. I need to know where her head is in all this.

Back to the old nurse practitioner. This woman told me that when I go to see a new psychiatrist I should not bring up that I'm in therapy. She said to give them as little information as possible. Don't tell them I have DID. Don't tell them I have PTSD. Don't tell them about my abuse history. Tell them my brother died and I need medication for depression. I feel this is bad advice. This is where knowledge come in. There are certain things doctor's need to know. Not every doctor needs to know absolutely everything but if you go in for psychiatric care it might be a good idea to give them some history, ya know? There is a trust level with the old practitioner. I trust that sometimes she's going to go off the deep end.

Withholding that kind of information with my medical history is a very bad idea and it goes against everything I stand for as a patient. I am honest with my doctors. I need them to trust me as much as I trust them. Not everything needs to be disclosed but I don't think believe completely withholding information is a good call either.

 

Jordan

I'm just thinking badly but I'm enjoying it way too much.

Thursday my landlord is going to show up. I don't want the cow here but I'm not able to get out of it. She's coming to fill a minor maintenance issue. Despite her telling me that changing my ceiling light bulbs isn't her job, she's till coming with the new maintenance man to replace the bulbs. She noted the bulbs were out way, way back in May of this year when she was busy trying to have me evicted. So, she's coming with the new guy so she can gossip to me about how she had to fire the old guy.

Doesn't she get tired of tearing down everything her hands touch?

I figured maybe a little passive aggression is in order for her visit. I should start out with very, very strong incense and a nice display of the little plastic skeletons that she finds unnerving. Of course I'm not going to do it but it was fun to think about. Anyway, once the skeletons were in clear view I'd go stereotype on her. She isn't fond of 'Mexicans' or 'Arabs', or common sense which means I'd have to play that Arab soundtrack that's in every US military movie while eating a burrito and drinking a bottle of Corona. Skip the Corona. I'm going ghetto. I'll have a 40 ounce of malt liqua', Colt 45. I have to represent the black stereotype. I'd have to go stereotype on her stupid self because being a stupid racist, she wouldn't recognize anything else. ...

...continue reading "Faith Behaving Badly"

When I go on Craigslist and see a cat or dog sitting next to another animal, I wonder how the owner narrowed it down to him being the one who needs to find a new home. Do you flip a coin? Pull names out of a hat? What?

I use to wonder that but now I know.

There is a problem in the Pickle family. I have a dominant male who will not tolerate the other male in the tank. I love Big Steve but he's not docile enough to live with the other two. He has banished Guy Pickle to the corner and takes food right out of Guy's mouth. He'll wait for Guy to catch a cricket then wrestle the poor thing until he lets go of him. So, the decision has been made to rehome Steve "the Beast" Pickle. He is currently in the terrarium by himself with Guy and Flip in a separate terrarium. I don't like the idea of Steve living by himself.

Firebelly toads are beautiful animals that can live a good long life of up to 15 yrs in captivity. They do well in groups and don't take too much care. They're funny. I love their feet and their clumsy way of getting around. I love their eyes and their spots. They're too, too adorable. ...continue reading "Deciding which pet to rehome"

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