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Surgeons, Doctors and Nurses make decisions for me based on their expertise. I depend on their knowledge and background to assist me during this difficult time in my life. During my hospital stay, I've had to give confidence to Physical Therapists as well and accept that decisions w my care will be for my best interests.

I learned today which PT says I am unable to complete 3 hrs daily of physical therapy. That 3 hrs was a requirement for that private hospital I soooo wanted to go to. When she put in my decided, based on my abilities, that I'm not ready for it, all my placement plans changed. I'm already uneasy and triggered about losing my apartment, rendering me homeless. When I lost that room I was not happy.

I worked with the Therapist today and we did just fine. I like her a lot. After being in the hospital since February, I've been given the ok to sit up 1 hour each day. I'm going to paint and eat lunch.

Had I been asked if I could do 3 hrs of physical therapy each day for months, I would have said, "Let her fly, full speed ahead." It was good and accurate and right for the Physical Therapist to say, "One hour is her ability range." Even when disappointment may result, I need strong clinicians in my corner.

I did find a nursing home placement on the same side of town where I'm from. I won't feel so displaced bc I know the area, as do my friends.

Of course I'm having another moving day situation involving finger food and friends.... in that order cause I really seem to be hungry right now. All I think about is non hospital food. Lol Anyway, I get a room full of friends after my move who will be here to support and cheer me forward. Also in my support are individuals from Seattle, Washington, Oregon state and Ohio. Their out of town love has been felt as well.


I hate Lupus. Lupus is the devil.

I talked to Dr D over the phone for my session. We talked about the emotional toll of this hospitalization. We talked about how things change so fast sometimes that it's hard to keep up.

There's a revolving door of changes. I can hardly keep up. Many changes are good, others a disappointment. I just need to stay the course.

Because I am unable to do 3 hours of physical therapy a day, I have lost the coveted hospital spot. I cried and cried. Now there's a scramble to figure out where to put me.

I'll get accepted to a nursing home where I'll do an hour of physical therapy, but will I be well cared for? Will I spend most of my time looking at the ceiling, unable to move? Will they change me on time or will I sit in my own excrement for hours like I see on TV? Will I be physically safe? Will I sleep well or have to endure a roommate? So many questions.

There have been major improvements in my health in the last few days, things no one anticipated. Life will be easier in some respects bc I no longer have to take a shot in the stomach every day for the rest of my life. They've determined that I can take pill form, twice daily, for the remainder of my life. I still have to take prednisone forever but I feel I have good medical doctors who will look after my interests. I'll have this medical team looking after me and monitoring. That gives me comfort.

Today I sat up on the side of the bed by myself. I took a photo bc it's a milestone.

I'm on Morphine , Oxycodone and Percaset to ease pain. Morphine gives me nightmares but it helps so I take it.

Friday afternoon some friends are coming up to eat pizza with me.

People don't know what to say or do so I tell them to bring food. Bring lunch meat and Doritos, 7up and something sweet. We'll chat and chew through the awkward.

One visitor said he feared not knowing what to say to me. Sometimes a person's presence is more powerful than their words. Despite not knowing what to say, he's been here three times. Thank you for that!


Boyah! Alive and kicking.

La, la la la la
Sing until your love is, love is
ALIVE and kicking.

Gracious! Gracious! I'm ok. I'll be ok.
There's some serious therapy to do, and for a long time in the hospital....

I panicked. I cried and called for my mother like a little girl. I held to the bed and said, don't do it! Total panic. I freaked out but then I got myself together. Friends here by my bed helped me gather myself......

Today I was accepted to a private, long-term hospital with specialized care, even more than I'm getting now. Surgeons and doctors have encouraged me to transfer bc the hospital opening is rare and a good fit for me. Private accommodations still stand. I'll transfer to that hospital in a few days but I return here, by ambulance, in a week, to get reports and follow up. After that one follow up I'll be w this new place full time.

I appreciate the amount and quality of private hospital care I'm getting. No chances are being taken by me. I'm also taking none of it for granted.

My face is puffy from tears of sorrow, relief, gratitude, fear. I'm emotionally spent, physically spent, but glad to be here.

La, la la la la
Sing until your love is, alive and kicking



Several doctors have teamed up to manage my hemaglobin nightmare. I've seen top physicians, stars in their field. One such star reminds me of the guy from the Verizon commercial.

When he came in he exuded confidence. I knew I was in good hands. I thought about how young he seems, about personal sacrifices he may have made, and was grateful for them. I thought about late nights studying, about conferences instead of home life and personal life. I thought of social and economic sacrifices he may have made just to be in a field he clearly loves. And to be at the helm of a cutting edge surgery done only a handful of times, ever.

My Verizon told me he understands there is a God at play and did not accept full credit for his work. Awesome he understands that. I hope he can hear, too, that he did a wonderful job. He really did, and he put me and my friends at ease. So when I saw him again, I knew I could go through with it, even though I was scared. ...continue reading "My Verizon"


I am not one who can handle a lot of physical stimulation. I didn't want to be touched. Movement and sound scare me. However, in a vulnerable state I have had to allow things to happen even if I didn't think I could handle it.

Since being at the hospital I've allowed people who resemble my abusers to give intimate care. I've allowed African American men and women to remove the gown, adjust my legs as needed then wipe my intimate parts in front and back. I have had full bed baths and depends changed or had procedures that required mostly nudity. I had to allow it.

From where I'm laying, I generally can't see the entire person, and I can't get up. I am vulnerable and require their clean intentions. Not a single inappropriate comment has taken place. They have been respectful and put me at ease.

At one point a Doctor was asked to wait 2 min while the Techs finished my gown because credentials don't buy rights to my dignity either. I appreciated him waiting.

I was terrified at first. Someone had their hands between my legs, spread them, and I had to allow it. I was angry. I didn't sleep a lot. But as the positive, safe experiences continued, confidence grew, with unexpected healing as a result.



I've been in the hospital since mid February, a month now . I've been part of something profound and I know it. I will talk about it in depth at another time. I'm not really able to blog through this right now but there is a lot to say concerning surgery one. Blogging while in the hospital bed is difficult.

Surgery 2 will happen Monday, and it is sobering. I keep looking at that sentence, not sure how to just say it. I've had time to get used to amputation but losing more is scarier. This will take place Monday.

Update. As of late 3/16/18 I've learned the name of the surgery Monday. It Is Transmetatarsal Amputation on the right side.

No matter what I go home with, I will not complain. I am pleased that they are working so hard to help me have a good quality of life after this.

I asked the doctors to return me to my family and friends and that is what they are doing, with compassion and more.

I'm not out of the woods after surgery. I've got ugly health problems that need close monitoring.

It's time for breakfast. Buscuits and gravy sit on my hot plate.

So, against odds, I am still here.

I send you smiles.




I'm writing to you 12 days long in the ICU in an Indianapolis hospital. As you know I've had a pulmonary embolism, not my first. My body is full of blood clots and I'm not doing well. If I survive the blood clots I am at risk of losing toes. I've seen them, black, full of blisters. There are blisters up to my ankles that are about 4 inches tall and full of fluid. Breathing is difficult, energy ends quickly. I've got hematoma on my stomach and have gained 70 lbs in water weight. The kidneys aren't good.

I need to tell you that I've got a very long, long fight ahead. This is the step of Lupus that is scary. I get better or I quickly go down hill. I need to tell you that Sundrip will close its blogging doors come Monday, indefinitely. This will give people time to see the closed letter on the site.

I thought I would need to completely close my Etsy shop but I had a local volunteer who can revamp and take over for a while.

I have enjoyed my time online, almost 20 years! I am thrilled to have gotten to know so many artists and writers. Thank you for your work and words. Please, live free. Create well!

You can at times find updates on FB by logging in and searching for Faith Austin, or send me your FB link through I can still be contacted in these ways. On FB you'll see photos of Sir Clyde romping about as well as sarcastic updates from me.

Thank you for being part of my growth and life for the last 19 years.
Smiles to you and yours,
Faith ❤


Hi, I am Faith's friend Julie. She asked me to let post that SUNDRIP: Art for Life has had a crisis and will be on hold for now. She is still in 11 days ICU with multiple blood clots and declining liver functioning. She will transition out of ICU 1Saccording to progress. The plan is for her to eventually go to a long-term hospital rehab facility to get the care needed. She may be emotionally ready to blog before moving to long term hospital care.

Most possessions are being thrown a way or stored as she will be unable to care for herself or Clyde. Art is being stored.
Clyde will be adopted by a friend and will be enrolled in a program that lets him visit several times a week.

Because of the high number of blood clots and the one that broke off in the lung, she is unable to care for daily life or run the Etsy shop. The shop will be temporarily closing until further notice. All sales currently in progress are valid. Eventually, blogging will be picked back up via tablet.

All contact information is still valid.

Thank you for your patience and understanding. More information will be provided in the near future.

In Hope and Healing,


I've been in ICU for 7 days now. Hard time. Pulmonary Embolism and active blood clots, plural, in both legs. Painful. Can't walk or feel a large portion of my legs. I'll be in the hospital for a bit over all.

Clyde is doing very well, much better than expected. He's not just stable but having fun. Awesome.

I'm still sick but at least I'm up on an on the laptop. In a day or so I'll photograph the two new teddy bears made from soft, pink brushed suede. And after I've finished with this cold/ flu /dang disease, I'll finish the plastic bag holder doll I started.

I look forward to this winter being over! This stuff is getting very old. Clyde is bored out of his mind right now. We used to take a few walks a day, now we go out and get back in as soon as we can.

Sunday we had an ice storm.  Despite the storm I still had to take out the dog. So I got up and took him out then promptly fell on my backside on the ice. Turns out I'm not an Olympic skater. I did a 9 point fall and landed half way in the bush and half way on the ground. It was ugly, really. I laugh now but at the time I wasn't laughing at all. My breathing has been difficult in the cold so when I fell I hadn't been breathing that well, and I fell very hard! It knocked the wind out of me, scared me. I sat there for a minute paying attention to my heart and feeling all over to make sure I was okay. I'm okay, less a little pride, but okay.

How I've missed my laptop. I can't type on my tablet. The problem with the laptop is that it keeps trying to update Windows 10 but it can't. My computer won't restart correctly or something and so it shuts down. I restart manually then the computer tells me the update didn't take and will uninstall. Once I log back in the update tries to install again. I've done this no less than 15 times. This simply will no restart correctly for the update.

Because this thing is going to eventually crash, I've taken the time to back up everything on flash drives. I've also got the recovery flash drive for the computer if that needs to be done sometime down the road. It's just the update isn't taking. I wish I knew how to deny the update.

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