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"Drawing is not an exercise of particular dexterity, but above all a means of expressing intimate feelings and moods." (Henri Matisse)

I feel in color. I no longer see this as a disadvantage since most process everything in black and white.

I paint as if it means my life. By the last stroke I am at times out of breath.

I sometimes leave tears, strong emotions, mixed in the paint. They are not tears of sorrow it's just that I feel with such intensity, and that intensity is relieved when I put paint on paper.

I no longer apologize for feeling intensely, not when many in the world embrace apathy. ...continue reading "Intense. Unleashed. Fearless"

Cut in StoneA friend of mine, now gone, once said: "The most beautiful things come from the most foul manure." I hope he's right. I hope to one day grow past what is ugly into not just beauty but peace.

As stated in my bio, I have Post Traumatic Stress Disorder as well as Multiple Personality Disorder. There are times when my mind races and is filled with flashbacks from times unsafe. I want to run from my own head. I panic. I call a friend and then I take to a few more coping skills such as painting.  ...continue reading "Cut in Stone"

framed

By 4 am I was exhausted. My head was tired, full of noise that made no sense. At my threshold I got up from bed and walked 10 feet to my studio, pulled out a piece of paper and began to paint. I removed some of the surface paper for texture, scratched paint with a toothpick and smeared paint with all my fingers until finally the noise ceased. 

In the painting you'll see a face outlined in black - eyes, nose, lips. While the face is hot with red and orange, the dreadlocks hang in blue and black. On the outskirts, into the white is yellow and the tiniest flicker of green.  ...continue reading "Dance of Dissonance"

To the extent that I managed to translate the emotions into images– that is to say, to find the images which were concealed in the emotions– I was inwardly calmed and reassured.

Had I left those images hidden in the emotions, I might have been torn to pieces by them....

Carl Jung

Divided as a Whole SOLD

If I didn't paint MY WAY, I'd lose my mind. If I didn't pick up a brush or pencil I'm not quite certain how I'd express deepest emotion. Art is the best medium when there are no words or when words aren't good enough.  ...continue reading "art is the reason I’m not crazy"

Inner Swim

The young girl sits with her legs crossed by a large koi. One finger touches the water, the other hand lays on her bronze and copper painted pants. Sand has been added to the pants as a symbol of stone. Beautiful, bright pink flowers grow in the garden. Her shirt is shredded fabric, linen pieces. The water wall behind her begins to take her in.

Art Title: Inner Swim
Art by: Faith Magdalene Austin
Medium: Acrylic, Gel, Sand
Size: 11 × 14 inches on heavy board

Purify = SOLDIts difficult for me to post art therapy pieces here but awhile ago I decided I would. It's still had though. This piece is art expressing multiple personality disorder. It is a painting showing the need for one of the figures to feel pure or relieved of her burden. The painting shows all the movement, the light, dark, play, rest and chaos inside my head.

In the painting called 'Purify' you'll see hidden people, hidden faces and layer upon layer of color. Sprouting or perhaps bursting forth from the woman's face is a large white flower. A body rests over her forehead and lays over her eye. The arm leads to the main figure in the middle who is almost in a state of mental rest. With her eyes closed it is as if she's blocked out the worries of the world and taken a rest. The taller figure beside her is an odd little girl who wears another little girl in a red dress. She creates the Odd Girl's eyes, nose and hair bow. There are faceless figures and one figure in a box. There are swirls, strikes, smearing and of course flowers. ...continue reading "Purify"

Threshold The small art piece shows a white soul standing in front of a tumultuous sky on a black bridge. There is fire raging beside her, a fire that glows in the sky. The sea rages beneath the bridge. The single white, faceless figure stands at her threshold.

This textured, emotional piece is painted on sketchbook paper in acrylics with ink. Though small, it packs an emotive punch with its mix of washed colors and heavy paint strokes. There is swirling blue, white and grey. There are layered brush strokes and haunting color contrasts. Red and orange climb slowly from gray, blue and black. The glow of the orange stops the sky in its tracks. The white ghostly figure on the bridge even has a touch of orange on its side. And there it stands, on the bridge above unsteady waters.

...continue reading "Threshold"

Thunderstorm d1In addition to the emotional process of creating this painting, there is a storm of art mediums. I do enjoy experimenting with different types of media.

Thunderstorm

In this 6 x 9 painting on paper, I've mixed acrylic with sawdust and sand. There is also ink and gel with a final matte acrylic seal. If you put all that together and mix it up on sketchbook paper, you get the aftermath of a thunderstorm.

In the painting you see a black face woman with lips and eyes like the sea. Her hair flows into the waves and becomes them. Her body floats until it too becomes part of the sea. You see the burning of the salt and the sun and her yearning for land. There is wave after wave after wave with the impending boom and resulting lightening. Or is has the lightening already shown itself in her eyes?

...continue reading "Thunderstorm on paper"

Suppose I Could Fly V3

It's a brutal war to fight one's mind and body, but that is what I do with chronic pain and Post Traumatic Stress Disorder. My body fights to keep going. I feel as if I'm losing that battle. My mind fights itself. I sometimes wish to wave the white flag.

But what if, suppose I could overcome some small part of this turmoil? Suppose I could learn even more coping skills, even more ways to overcome and have a better quality of life? Suppose I could.

This painting is the third and final piece from a series called Suppose I Could Fly. She's a young girl with dreadlocks looking straight forward. Her eyes are tired but she's determined to pull through. She holds on to the flowers beside her with strength and a vow, she will continue on, she will let her inner self fly.

...continue reading "Suppose I Could Fly Version Three"

art by FMAustin - Vertical

The reason this painting is called Pan is because I hoped it would pan out.  

Not all titles are equal.

Pan is an acrylic and ink painting on heavy white board size 12 inches long by 3 and 1/4th inches wide. 

Today in therapy I was asked why I do more abstract paintings than before. My only explanation was that sometimes there are no figures, symbols, flowers or shapes to express emotion. But to push and pull colors across the page, to strike at them, stamp them here and there is a language all its own. For me its like saying, there's so much to say I don't know where to start. I'm so anxious, sad, confused, what have you, that I don't even know where to begin or what symbols to draw to express how I feel.  I don't know how to form my words but here is what I can do, I can show you in color how I feel. And so we have more abstract paintings because sometimes my 'art words' escape me. Sometimes I'm unable to narrow down figures and objects to express myself through expressionism, cubism and the like.

...continue reading "Pan – An Abstract Panel Painting"

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