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Family tree on my backColors speak louder than wordsI've thought a lot of my mother lately. In therapy Friday afternoon we talked about traveling, the orchestra, theater, opera and all the cultural things she loved. It's a strange contrast between the tyrant and the artist but there was in fact a contrast, one I loved. I recall my mother singing around the house. I knew when she sang it would be a safe day. For some reason when she sang all the vile went away.

One of my mother's favorite animals is the African Elephant which is why I purchased a notebook with one on the cover. I also liked the quote which says: Colors speak louder than words.

The loss is incredible.
Grant mercy please.
She left deep wounds, many questions, but no answers. I have to find resolution in wreckage.

In the notebook I've written letters to my mother, some kind, others telling her exactly how I felt living with her. These letters and drawings are just another step in healing from the war god I called mother. ...continue reading "Mother’s and Grey Elephants"

She had a wide range of peculiarities but one constant; her mouth was always wide open.

Mouth Wide OpenHer violence frightened me as a child. The fact that she's still alive makes me a bit uncomfortable.

The woman with the split earlobe laughed loudly, sang loudly, slapped you on the back while laughing and did everything over the top. It wasn't mental illness, it was plain madness.  ...continue reading "Wide"

The Resilience Tree
Resilience Tree

Resilience Tree - Beginnings
Resilience Tree - Beginnings

Resilience Tree - Risen
Resilience Tree -Risen

We have not seen the last of the Resilience Trees. Next year's creative goals includes a tree a day. I look forward to starting January 1st in a special book just for trees 🙂

Original art by Faith Magdalene Austin is available through PayPal or Etsy. All contact information is on the sidebar. Thank you for visiting Sundrip.

Faith

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I turned 46 today. I'm not bothered by the age but my heart still desires what it can't have, family connection. Birthday's anymore are difficult. On this day, I feel the ache of not having family to grow old with.

Dr. D and I discussed what it would be like if I had any of my family in my life. The first thing is that they'd refuse to call me by my chosen and now legal name. They'd call me by the name I was given at birth which is totally unacceptable. The second thing is that I'd be asked to accept their reality as opposed to factual reality.

I know all the things that would be emotionally damaging if I were to connect again with my family. We don't have to list them off, I know them. What I can't seem to let go of is the need. I need something from these people that they can't and won't give. I need to belong to a family, without one I feel so ....I feel like I'm just out here floating around. I feel foreign and isolated. I'm a tree without bark, naked. I feel like a woman on an island alone and no one is coming to claim me or take me off this island.

I know this part is morbid but, what family member will claim me at death? Will an abuser come claim my body? How much talk will there be about why this person can't do it and why that person can't do it? Who gets the short end of that stick? ...continue reading "Therapy Review: Skinned. Let her go."

On sale now are all items in my Etsy shop and items in my Available Art Galleries until August 4th, 2017.

Color RushI'm having a sale so I can spend money in August. 🙂 I gotta buy art supplies. In other words, I'm selling art to make art.

August is the month I stock up on art supplies for the entire year. Also, I'm going to Goodwill on August 2nd to purchase some exercise equipment, among other things.

There are some fun new listings in my Etsy shop. I've put together two or three art pieces in one listing for one price. You'll find these lot listings throughout the shop.

At check out on Etsy, use coupon code ArtForArtSale17 for 25% off your total purchase until August 4th, 2017. If you would like to have a PayPal invoice, I will apply the discount to the invoice.

Trees Lot Art SaleAdditional international shipping locations upon request. I return all international shipping above $1.
Please contact me for financial assistance (layaway, payments) if needed. We will work together to put art on your walls.

Please keep in mind that I also barter. On the sidebar is a wish list from Amazon. You don't need to use Amazon but the items listed are the ones I'm looking for. I'm specifically interested in the wood burning set that I can use with encaustic art. The set is good for wood, soldering and wax work. That's at the top of the list. 🙂

Blue Wonder How does bartering work? Basically, you buy the item and send it to me. I pack up the art piece(s) you chose with corresponding price and send it to you. Easy as that. Contact me and we'll set up our agreement.

Adopt art. Take it home and love it.

I never used to have sales but these are so fun. The prospect of someone taking advantage of the sale just makes me happy. I need to work on banners and such but you can expect to see more sales. This is fun.

Happy shopping!! 🙂

Live free. Create well.
Sundrip

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These are recent entries in my personal sketchbook. They're mindscapes - an artists version of a CAT scan.

Wait for Me - Let there always be hope
Wait for Me - Let there always be hope

I've done my best to toss out the notion that I must create something beautiful. I have to stop feeling as if I must please viewers with a masterpiece or outdo myself. I have to stop thinking and let myself paint. It's been a challenge but I'm getting better.

 

These are photographs. When I take them out of the sketchbook I'll scan them then put them on the working wall (the wall that holds all current projects) so I can grab and do more whenever I am able.

Jordan

"She dreams of flowers"

"Her fullest potential"

Her Fullest Potential fma

"The Girl" in apostrophe earrings. ...continue reading "Paint Sketch and Alter"

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Drawing trees is soothing. I usually draw them bare. I love leaves. i like to see them up close and examine the cells. I recently learned that my sweet potato plant was holding water in the cells of the leaf because I watered too much and too late in the day. Leaves are a beautiful creation but I hardly ever draw them. I like them bare. There's something so beautifully vulnerable about a bare tree.

I love to follow the designs on bark with my finger. There's something so .... spiritual....about trees.

When it comes to art, I have a go to doodle.  I think all artists have a certain something they draw in almost a self soothing kind of way. The self soothing art for me is to draw trees with the branches reaching out, twisting and breaking through the things we can't even see. Branches break through the air, they hold themselves erect when gravity tries to pull them over. I love that they take their place in the soil and let their roots reach as far and deep as they desire.

I absolutely love above the ground root systems. Those are fun to follow, too. Of course I have to peak in the little crevices where moss grows. I admire spider webs and small bugs that scramble to get away from my curious fingers.

When I was a kid I was told that if a person draws a tree it usually represents them. I was told that putting a scar on the tree represents personal trauma. I never forgot that. Despite the psychological reasons for drawing trees, doing so is soothing for me.

Two trees displayed in this entry are Pay it Forward art pieces. You can find them in the Community Grabs and PIF section in my Etsy shop.

The first entry on trees has been posted in the Featured Art Gallery. page.

Unfortunately, the comment option may not appear on the WP feed but you are always welcome to leave one on my webpage if you desire.

Today's therapy discussion focused on family matters: mother's thorough brainwashing and effective divisive tactics, scapegoating, emotional boundaries between myself and all birth family and a recap of nightmares from a few days back. After writing this entry I was reminded of the paintings "Resilience Tree," so I included them in the entry.

Resilience Tree

I was awake all night and until around 10:30 this morning. I had my session to go over the graphically violent and blood dream about cannibals and going to a psychiatric prison for the mentally insane because I was guilty of murdering my child self, the inner child of my sister and the inner child of my brother. I'll pick up more on that topic later.

We talked about the complete lack of protection from my mother: physical, emotional and spiritual responsibilities were ignored or out right withheld.

...continue reading "Therapy Review: Spillway. Resilience"

I've been once again drawing trees obsessively.

Before girl's night with pizza and a movie, I cut out of here for a nature walk to the park. There were a few families there, separate from one another and weary of each other. There was an uneasiness I refused to be part of. I was there to touch the trees, to look at the bark, search for early moss and breathe.

I came home with walnut hulls that now hold early spring moss.

It was a long day and an even longer night with a still stagnant day to follow. Yesterday's activities with the girl's didn't go as well as I'd hoped because two of us weren't really in the best frame of mind to gather with others and be 'normal'. It ended badly, as badly as a joke. Two depressed girls and an artist walk into a bar.... ......bad.

The pizza was good.

This evening I opened the windows to trade out stale air for new.

Jane is lazy, but not my mind.

...continue reading "I Touched the Trees"

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