The author of the blog Mel-O-Drama has a new entry about a project she’s going to be doing concerning the homeless. It touched me because many of the issues I’m having right now center around PTSD issues from the many times I was homeless. I left this comment in her blog but then I realized I needed to do some journaling on it myself. I’ve not wanted to touch the subject because it’s a hard one for me. After reading her entry I realized its time to start journaling this out. Here’s the comment I left in her journal :
Hey Hat Girl. I was going to leave a comment on the entry about homeless people. I did one awhile back on a different journal. I’ve been homeless 80% of my life. My first time was when I was six years old. I was less than 4 feet tall sleeping in the snow. I stayed gone for 2 years because the street was safer than at home. I dread the winter months to this day because of how many times I’ve slept with a sheet of snow over me. Even after a person finds a home the effects of homelessness doesn’t really leave you. I could add some input into your project.
btw: the lip balm was a good idea. the gum was too. often times cash isnt the best thing to give because it can be stolen. socks, bottled water, a comb, underwear, heavy gloves, old blankets, HATS :0) and things like that are helpful. a toothbrush, q-tips for cleaning their ears, wash rags, combs, dry foods with high protein like nuts and avocados. fresh fruit is a wonderful gift.
if you go out to give anything do it only once. if you are known to give to anyone then you’ll attract the unsavory homeless who may try to victimize you for $$ or whatever. if you go out do it at the busiest time of day so that there are plenty of people around if you need to go for help. I’m not saying the homeless are dangerous I’m saying that if you are going to approach complete strangers have a safety plan in case its needed. if you were going to interview basketball players on their court i’d tell you the very same thing, do it at the busiest time of day so there are a bunch of people to hear you if you need to call them for help.
I mentioned once that I had a three month period of time where I was so out of it that my neighbors thought death was a good option for me. For three months I felt so cold even when the thermometer read 80 degrees or higher. My hands turned black as if they’d been frost bitten even thought it was 80 degrees or higher. I kept thinking I was outside in the snow. I wasnt. I was in my own home. I didnt sleep for days at a time. I got a bit psychotic from that I’m sure. I laughed to myself. I screamed, ranted and raved, cried and sat quietly. I switched more than I’ve ever switched before. It was so rapid that it no only scared me but the whole medical care team. It was a frightening time, so much so that I couldnt even talk about it for like 6 months after I came out of it.
I didnt grow up poor. That’s not why I was homeless. I need to stop for now though. I’ll finish this later. I also have to put a safety plan in order for this processing session. I think it would be a good idea to set a certain amount of time aside for this subject and when that time is over then I stop journaling about it. I have to have something to do after the session too.
-us- for
Morton’s Pride
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