I’ve been hearing the birth name in our head repeatedly. Sometimes it almost feels like I’m trying to torture myself by using that name inside.
I actually got some things done today. I’m wiped out. I rearranged the living room and the bedroom. I did 2 loads of laundry, visited my neighbor and then ate dinner. I’m tired. I think I may be in my resting spot before 5 am tonight. The other night I’ve been laying with my hand over my mouth as I sleep. I felt compelled to cover it while I was trying to sleep. I knew it was odd but it felt like if I didn’t do it I’d feel worse than simply allowing myself to do it. Continue reading ‘Oh So Productive’
Our Special Duck
21 January 2006
There’s a special toy that Captain brings to me when I’m having difficulty staying grounded. He brings me a little yellow stuffed duck toy that I got him about 4 years ago. I’ve re-stuffed it several times because he guts the poor thing continually. When I’m in bed all curled up and I can’t get myself to calm down and get grounded Cap comes jumping up on the bed and drops the little duck on top of me. Sometimes when I don’t respond right away he picks it up and drops it on me again. I can’t help but smile because I know that he only plays with that little duck when he knows I’m not doing well.
I don’t pay anything for his toys because he likes to gut them. I go to the second hand stores on half price day and buy a bunch of stuffed animals that I think he’d like. He likes the rattling baby toys especially and those that make a noise. I have to watch him while he’s playing with it so he doesn’t get the rattler out of the toy and swallow it. I’ve even taken a box of tic-tac’s and put them inside one of the gutted toys so that when he throws it around it rattles. I tape the box really well and then wrap the stuffing around it. The stuffed animals that he likes the best are those that are loosely stuffed and have a velvety texture to them. I have to do the Hannibal act and cut out the eyes and any harmful parts but after that I give it to him.
Right now he has some homemade biscuits in the oven. And today at the pet store they had huge knuckle bones on sale for $2 so I brought one home for him. I think per month Cap costs me about $20.00, this includes food. Since I make my own bread (without the bread machine) I just go ahead and buy extra flour so I can make his biscuits.
BASIC DOG BISCUITS
3 1/2 cup unbleached flour,
2 cup whole wheat flour,
1 cup cornmeal
1/2 cup skim milk powder
1 tablespoon (or 1 package) dry yeast
3 1/2 cups lukewarm chicken or meat broth
Dissolve the yeast in the lukewarm chicken or meat broth. A rich broth is recommended because it gives more flavor to the biscuit and also make them enjoyable to even the most finicky of tastes. Let yeast broth mixture set 10 min. Then stir in flour mixture. Roll resulting dough out 1/4″ thick. Now, cut the biscuits from the dough, you can use any shape that you want, but most of us doggies like the traditional bone shape. Brush biscuits with egg wash. Bake on greased cookie sheets at 300° for 45 min. Then turn off oven and leave in overnight to finish hardening. This will make about 60 medium sized biscuits.
People keep telling me Cap is spoiled but I still believe that it’s me that’s spoiled. I’ll never have a dog this good again. If I do find a dog nearly as skilled and as kind as Captain I’ll know for sure that God knows I exist. To be blessed twice with this kind of dog would be undeniable proof that God knows me and loves me.
I wanted to believe that those miners were alive but my heart wouldnt let me. A thought crossed my mind, I wish I could send them our special duck during this time of mourning. I just want to double over and hold my head. I wanted them to be alive so badly. I guess everyone did really.