Daily Archive for January 29th, 2006

for today

Published on January 29, 2006 in For the Record. 0 Comments

the plan is to realize that i’m in a funk and not to push people away or try to use reason in any way. my reason is off right now. my tracking is off. i’m having difficulty seeing the real picture through all the fuzz.

i think being alone with my thoughts in this state is both good and bad. being alone with my thoughts means i have time to process things incorrectly after viewing them from a fuzzy picture. being alone with my thoughts means i can’t shove improper motives on otherwise straight people.

i feel like i’m losing my mind here. the worrying. constantly thinking. its exhausting.

Maureen

Published on January 29, 2006 in For the Record. 0 Comments

i’m a tad bit on the paranoid side.
part of me wants to tell this man to go away.
i realize i’m pushing people away.
i’m angry.
reading over entries i realized that i have more anger issues than i realized.
i’m putting off sleep. why on earth would i want to go to bed. my goodness. its that same damn dream over and over again. i just want to start screaming and throwing things.
i’m worried that i’m losing it here. i’m worried that its all me and that i’m just sick. i need to vomit.
i’m afraid.

Maureen