The People Behind My Eyes

Tuesday, April 25, 2006

6:12:25 PM

The problem of course is that he isn’t going to go out and buy another lawn mower. Why couldn’t they have stolen something like say his car? He left me a message on my answering machine saying “I guess it’ll be awhile before we can mow the lawn. Maybe you can borrow a lawn mower from the neighbors.” I was occupied at the time and couldn’t answer the phone. When I went out to talk to him he was gone again. He left to go to play practice. I think he might have the lead roll in the play, “101 Ways to Live in Filth.”

I can’t believe that that thing is gone. When I talked to UK she told me her son’s bike was snatched up last night too. There is only so much a girl can do to make things work. It would have been manageable if the lawn mower was stolen during the winter time. The yard wouldn’t harvest flees that way. It would be home to chiggers and other bugs that love tall grass but now that it’s getting warm and rains regularly we’ll have a bug fest out there.

If it’s not one thing it’s another. The other day I planted sunflowers out there. I know I can’t take them with me when I go but I just wanted to plant them anyway. That night I dreamed that Barney mowed down all the fully bloomed sunflowers. There were these huge yellow full bloom heads laying helter-skelter around the yard, leaves here and there and everything was a mess. In the dream I went off. I beat him down for mowing over the sunflowers. I thought the dream was funny so I told Barney. He laughed too. I told him the dream last night. This morning, 4am this morning, the lawn mower was stolen. I know he didn’t do anything with the mower it’s just a horrible, horrible coincidence.

I just got a hold of my yard. I just got all the weeds down off the fence. I mowed it the other day. It’s looking really good right now. Then there is his back yard that a bushman wouldn’t go into. I should put a huge sign out in the front yard, “STOLEN LAWN MOWER” Followed by, “MY LANDLARD IS TOO CHEAP TO GET ANOTHER ONE.” It’s not important to him to get one so he’s not going to go out there and buy one. You can get a lawn mower at a pawn shop for 75 bucks or so. There are some good pawn shops here; as a matter of fact there is one less than a mile down the street. Will he go? Hell no he won’t. He doesn’t think it’s important.

I need to cool off. I need to get myself together before I talk to him about it again because right now I’m too pissed. He was so damn ??? i dont know the word… on the voice mail message he left me. “I guess we can’t mow the lawn for awhile.”

Let us hope that my application for the new apartment is accepted. I’m out of here as soon as I find a suitable place to go. The flowers I planted outside are in beds that can be moved. I did it that way purposely. I don’t plan to leave them here (other than the sunflowers).

Why didn’t he put the lawn mower back where it belonged instead of sitting it beside the fence so someone could walk in and take it? They came inside the damn fence to take that thing. What kind of crap is that? They didn’t have to come in too far because it was less than 4 feet from the gate. I was out cutting weeds the other day. The lawn mower was sitting beside in the yard I could have him start it when he got home. When he got home I asked him to start it for me. He told me to keep cutting weeds and he’d finish it up if he could get it started again. He left it sitting 4 feet from the gate and it was stolen. I don’t want to hear jack shit about how I left it sitting there so someone could take it. Oh, damn I soooo need to calm down before I talk to him again. If it’s not one thing it’s another.

Tonight’s plans are as follows: finish 2 more loads of laundry, eat lasagna, and watch Tuesday night TV on ABC.

Austin