The People Behind My Eyes

I found a meme based on I messages. I didnt write where I found the meme so that I could respect the privacy of that person. I liked the questions though so i figured I'd go ahead and fill them out too.

Way back in my freshman year of high school I took an interpersonal relationships class. I remember mostly the teacher stressing how important it is to speak with I messages. A rough definition of an I message is when you speak and let the other person know how you feel while taking responsibility for your feelings. An example of an I message is: I feel taken advantage of. I feel used and this really hurts. An example of communication without an I message is: You are a user, you take advantage of me, and you hurt me.

The difference in those two sentences is that an I message is designed to not put the other person on the defensive. If they are immediately on the defensive and they feel attacked then their ears are closed to what you need them to hear. The truth is, they might be a user but they’ll never hear it if you put them on the defensive right off the bat.

I'm not of the opinion that we can’t be made to feel a certain way. I do not believe that other people can’t make us feel shame or anger, useless or any other negative emotion. That theory seems to be too black and white, too either or and in my opinion it puts blame on the person that has been hurt. The rules to responsibility, both personal and those belonging to others, isn’t something that can be assigned in black or white. That is what I hear when someone tells me that I am totally responsible for my feelings and that no one can make me feel anything. If outside influences from the past are able to change my future then why on earth would those same outside influences be exempt from altering my emotions? It doesn’t make since to me that outside influences can’t make me feel this way or that way. With that said, I’ll do the I messages meme.

I AM a black woman who is still finding herself.

I WANT to be in Tyler sitting in the middle of a field of daisies with Captain at my side reading a good mystery book.

I WISH I were married with kids.

I HATE my level of self doubt.

I MISS religious services.

I FEAR spending the rest of my life alone.

I HEAR the people in my head all the time. Sometimes I would like them to not talk.

I WONDER

I REGRET being non-med compliant. Being off meds has lead to impulsive acts that caused harm in my life that I simply can not take back.

I AM NOT as confident as I appear to be.

I DANCE with music videos.

I SING in bed.

I CRY more than I use to.

I MAKE WITH MY HANDS art, food and language (sign language).

I WRITE because my head would explode if I didn’t. I purge this way.

I CONFUSE the past with the present, women with my mother.

I NEED to feel useful to someone.

I SHOULD clean the utility closet.

I START more projects than I can finish.

I FINISH caring for Captain and Gracie before my first cup of coffee in the morning.

I'M GLAD I was able to leave home and start a new life for myself.

Fill these questions out yourself and then pass it along to a few people. Get to know yourself and those around you. Share, connect, grow.

I AM

I WANT

I WISH

I HATE

I MISS

I FEAR

I HEAR

I WONDER

I REGRET

I AM NOT

I DANCE

I SING

I CRY

I MAKE WITH MY HANDS

I WRITE

I CONFUSE

I NEED

I SHOULD

I START

I FINISH

I'M GLAD

Interpersonal Communication Resources and Quizzes

Communication Skills Test on www.queendom.com

Discovery Health Communication Skills Test with resources

Interpersonal communication by the Crisis Resource Center, University of Houston

Interpersonal and Nonverbal Communication

A link to a wealth of other links associated with verbal and nonverbal communication.

Nonverbal dictionary, a few entries of nonverbal gestures, signs and body language cues.

 

August