The People Behind My Eyes

Sleep Disturbances, But Only Slightly - Saturday, July 22, 2006-4:03 AM EST

I snatched the idea of posting the sleep test from Ordinary Janet. She did the personality test though. but  I’ve done the sleep position before but I dont remember it saying all of this. And, this site is usually pretty accurate. I don’t know about this one though.

What Does Your Sleeping Position Say About You?

I tend to be selfish at time. I worry that I dont give enough to my friends in 3D or on the net so I have to say I kinda agree with the selfish part.

I’m outgoing at times but most often that outgoing is forced. Ah, and I can shock the crap out of people without actually planning it. I think I’m more brazen than brash. I dont like the extreme, I prefer a calm time than a lot of stimulation. I dont hog the covers. Actually, I’ve gotten up to find that Captain has just taken the pillow and gone off with it. The boy is pitiful.

I haven’t written in several days. I’ve lost some time. I remember kind of “waking up” as I walked out of my bedroom, that’s the first memory I have since I bug bombed the apartment. Things look “normal” there doesn’t appear to have been any wild parties thrown or anything like that so I suppose things have gone okay. I was hoping to look on the journal and see what I’d been up to and was quite shocked to see that I hadn’t written.

Last night’s dreams were manageable. Recurrent dream themes of course. This same dream moves from the grandmother’s house to an amusement park on a rollercoaster then to the local mall that I visited as a child. It then returns to the grandmother’s house. The entire family is there but I’m in what they called the “second room” which was on the second floor. I was supposed to be sleeping but the bed was covered with clothing. I tried to sleep on top f them but the mother kept coming in to ask questions. There was something about the mother and an aunt that stabbed my sister to death but I can’t remember the details about that. I don’t care to either. The grandmother’s house was never a good place. Oh, but my youngest cousin and I use to kind of have fun.

I was in what they called the “middle room” and she was in the “second room” which are both on the 2^nd floor. There are 3 levels to the grandmother’s home. The doors were locked to both rooms but she and I found a way to remove the wall from the closet and sneak into the other’s room. The wall was kind of thin so we actually broke part of it out and replaced it when we returned to the room. They found out and nailed it back but she and I would pry it every time and crawl through to the other side. As sad as that sounds, it is a good memory for me. That cousin and I were more like sisters. She’s also the ONLY family member to give birth to children that have not been abused. She did not pass on the abuse and ya gotta give her credit for that. In a family with 6 generations of abuse she refused to pass it on when everyone else in the family continued it. She is an army nurse and her husband does something in the army, I don’t know what he does.

She and I use to play together when we lived in Tampa, Florida. We spent hours swimming and walking around the property. There was a jogging trail that circled the estate and we’d walk it and talk. I was 15 at the time so I guess that made her 10 or 11. The year I lived with them made us very, very close.

Today, I have a closet that leads from one bedroom to the next. I don’t have to use the bedroom door to get to the next bedroom; I can walk through the closet. It’s kind of fun to do that. I think it’s neat.

My sleeping arrangements are different too. No locked doors unless I lock them myself and I do. I started sleeping on the love seat and that has helped keep the nightmares down. When I sleep on the floor the nightmares are manageable but when I sleep in the bed they are horrible and alter the day negatively. But I have choices now and that in itself is freedom.

Austin