Well Blossom (aka Weed when she’s pissing me off) has been on this overly emotional kick for a bit….she’s in good company ‘cause I’ve not been that stable myself. Well, I try not to knit pick but it seems to be her thing. At first the whole litter box thing was kind of funny. Now it’s just annoying. No, I will not run and clean the box every single time they do something in it. I’m not going to do it. She does that with Torti but I will not be over there running behind them to clean it up like that. I think once daily is more than a heck of a lot of people do. She doesn’t like the fact that I’ve changed litter from the scoopable to pine chips. I didn’t think I would like them but I’m sold on it now. I won’t go back to the clay or the clumping kind. For some reason its seen as horrible for them to have to go in there with pine and not litter. She thinks it a matter of money. They cost the exact same. I haven’t skimped at all. They cost the same!!! It’s about quality, about smell and about being more biodegradable than other litter. I guess too I get a bit irritated when she says to me, you can’t afford this or that why don’t you let me pay for it. Damn! If she says that one more time I’m going to spray Blossom with some weed killer to see if I can make it stop! This is clearly a matter of my pride. It’s just, okay, yeah, I know I’m dead broke but must she remind me of that at every turn? Oh, remember you’re a quarter away from flat broke, do you want me to come to the rescue? That’s it!!! That’s it right there. It feels like I’m being told that I have needs that aren’t getting met and that I need someone to step in and get those needs filled for me….that I can’t take care of myself. She says it all the time, “You need this. Let me buy it for you. I don’t mind.”
It makes me feel … normal..competent…not so different than others…to walk up the cash register and pay for something on my own. I don’t need someone standing behind me going, “You can’t afford this.” Well, I have been on disability since 1992 and I’ve somehow managed this tiny bit of money I’m getting. I had the worst urge to cut at this moment so I’m going to walk away from this right now. I need to eat something anyway. Since the whole vomit session this morning (a Lupus thing) I’ve not put anything on my stomach. I should try and eat something.
Me
(posted for Kathy. Wordpress wont let her post on my blog. Down with Wordpress. So here’s her comment.)
I don’t think I like her. She seems too bitchy. Who the fuck needs that???? of course she was there when you needed help going into the hospital. So I appreciate her for that. But she is too snarky. Weight. Now money. These are triggers for you, & she doesnt seem to be able to help or stop herself. I’ll be glad when you get your own place.
Kathy