The People Behind My Eyes

Your Superstition Is My Protection-Monday, July 31, 2006-4:31AM

During my daily talk to Blossom I came to the realization that the mother and her family will not come to my house because they’re afraid of cats. She knows I have a dog and she’s very “respectful” of Captain’s space. She’s met him several times and she gives him plenty of room to walk. I have to smile when I say that because it doesn’t seem to matter what I do, she wants to press forward and make sure I know she’s got me under her thumb. She’s got this need to control with fear but when it comes to a furry creature that would prefer to help than harm she is the one who would quiver and beg for me to call him off. That doesn’t give me joy though, the thought of her afraid that way. But it gives me solace in that I know she will never be standing at my bedroom door like I fear she will. I don’t have to keep watching the door. If for some strange unexplainable reason she actually got past Captain she would see the cats and bolt right out of here. Blossom says that we should post a picture of me and the three stooges on the door so that if (again for some strange and unexplainable reason) the mother got inside the fence and thought about coming in the house she’d see us all and turn around and leave. The PC art is of me with Bella. I hope to soon be able to actually draw a cat instead of the horrible plug in I did with this picture. I think I’m about 5 in this shot here. I don’t know. Anyway, I happen to believe that I should just rest with the knowledge that she isn’t going to come here when she is unsure if I have a cat and unsure if I still have Captain. Her superstition benefits me in this way. I did not use Bella (a black cat) in the picture below by coincidence. The fact that the cat is more in focus than the child isnt either. I’m clearly going to have to go back and fix her poor little head cause I’ve jacked it up pretty badly. I guess I’ll be busy for a few hours on that one before I put it in the art journal.

I benefit from Bella’s in other ways too. She is so funny. When I have the nerve to stop focusing on her 100% and take a restroom break she comes to the door whining and scratching. I’ve decided that when she has the nerve to take a restroom brake that I’ll be right there at the litter box faking a cat cry and scratching the side so she will know how odd it is to try and relieve oneself while someone cries and scratches at the door. This did not work. I just proved myself to be a stupid human trying to get away with cute cat behaviors. It just didn’t go over well. Captain looked at me like, Oh my God. She’s lost if for real this time.” He just fell over on his side and laid there like, “Well, my mind will be gone soon too I can see.”

Since I’ve successfully pissed Gracie off she’ll be called Princess Gracie and Your Highness for the remainder of the day in an attempt to gain her furry love again. I am still struggling with this flea thing so she again had to be washed. I doped her up with some chamomile spiked food and washed her. She was tore down. I mean to tell you she couldn’t even run. I not only washed her but I used the blow drier to make sure she was all dry and warm without having to wait. Now that she is sober she’s as pissed as she can be and I’ll spend the rest of the week groveling and making up for the doped food. I know she’ll think twice before I put another bowl of warm goodness in front of her. “This is a trick!” she’ll scream and prance away with her flea infested self. I’ve got other tricks up my sleeve in case it needs to be done again and she really has caught onto the soft food thing. I will not be outsmarted by a cat. Ha! Dream on human, dream on! I think she has more tricks than I could ever think of.

Austin