Monthly Archive for July, 2006

Sharing In the Lives of Others-Monday, July 24, 2006-8:36 PM EST

Gratitude: being thankful, having the desire or reason to thank somebody, to value something of quality, to understand the importance, meaning and significance of something.

Gratitude Monday: a loose rendering of gratitude, a list or just a few words to show appreciation for or recognition for big and small accomplishments.

Subject: Being Part of the Lives of Others

Like many, I’ve had a ton of jobs. Some jobs I took simply because I needed the money and others I took because the spiritual rewards overshadowed the low pay. I worked only one day at McDonald’s. I never want to work that hard again. I worked for one hour and left. It was lunch time in the busiest part of the city and I was at the window. It was hectic trying to keep up with all of me AND all the orders coming through. I’ve worked for lawyers, as a housekeeper in a hotel, as a private Chef for a family, as a farm hand and even jobs like research assistant in the Dept. of Women’s Studies at the University of Indiana. I loved that job. I stopped worked back several years ago due to increased dissociation and loss of time but there is one job with a memory that I will never forget.

I took a job as a peer councilor for a group home working with adults with Autism and Schizophrenia. I thought I was smart by taking the 3^rd shift because I figured everyone would be asleep. I could do paper work and have an easy yet good sized paycheck. I was dead wrong, no one slept. I’d been assigned to the troubled group homes where clients had violent tendencies. I was shocked that they could go for so long without sleep and still have the energy to go off like they did. After that assignment they figured I’d been tortured enough and allowed me to work one on one in the homes of clients that were being transferred from the closing state hospital in Greencastle, IN.

I had never stepped foot in a psychiatric state hospital so walking through the door and onto the wards was an uneasy yet insightful experience. I knew from the second I walked in there that I would never treat anyone with such disrespect and carelessly walk on their feelings. The funny thing is, sometimes the professionals didn’t even realize that they didn’t see the patients as equals but it was obvious to us new comers on the grounds of that hospital. That hospital closed not only because of financial problems but because of the abuses that took place there. So when my co-worker and I drove three men to their new home we knew these men would be troubled. They’d spent many years behind those walls experiencing God only knows what. Just because they were being taken out of there and given their own home didn’t mean they would adjust quickly or at all.

I looked forward to going to work to see these three. I knew only little of their life, just that two had been roommates for 17 years in that hospital and absolutely refused to leave one another. Both were in their late 30’s and lived with profound Schizophrenia and Autism. They’d spent 17 years in that hospital as roommates so they knew each other more than they knew their own birth families. It only made sense that they stay together, and together they were all the time, just as it should have been.

It took awhile for all of us to get to know each other and to become comfortable with one another. I was the only worker of the two that used sign language so I was the one who worked closely with our Mute client. He seemed to have a lot of energy and a lot of drive to find something to get into. It seemed that there was always some “fire” we were putting out or coaxing him back in the house when he’d leave to force us to take him to get Kentucky Fried Chicken. The man was hilarious but a handful. There was a time when we visited the library and this 6 foot tall black man chased a little old white lady down the isle trying to touch her shirt. He’d become fixated on her blouse and had to touch it. I’m sure all the apologies didn’t help that poor woman but we certainly laughed once in the car and on the way back to their house.

There was one particular day that was quiet and uneventful. This day was also one of the most rewarding days of that job and counts among the most rewarding days of my work history. The three roommates and us two workers sat watching TV when one roommate stood, walked to the kitchen, made himself a glass of tea and came back to the chair to watch TV. The reason this moment is so significant is that I know it had been over 17 years since he sat comfortably in his own home. It had been over 17 years that he did not have to ask a worker for a drink then wait for an extended period of time before getting it, if he got it at all. So when he made that glass of iced tea and came back to sit in his favorite chair I knew I would remember that moment for a very long time.

I do this everyday, I make myself something to drink and sit in my favorite chair. I watch what I want to watch on TV without having to fight anyone or argue about who got to watch what last time. There are no long delays when getting needs met because overworked and understaffed professionals are busy putting out “fires” or filling out incident reports. It’s something I enjoyed daily, the simple freedom of filling a glass and plopping my butt in a chair yet this man waited over 17 years to do it. I smiled inside the same as I do now because I got to be there for that moment. I’ll always be appreciative for getting to experience that with him.

I also got to experience their first time at McDonalds. Thank God it wasn’t me trying to fill their order. I got to be there for their first time at Kentucky Fried Chicken, for their first time on a basketball court inside a YMCA. First time experiences at their age were as exciting for them as they are for little kids. They have the same joy and the same wild eyed wonder. That too I’ll never forget.

Austin’s August