Daily Archive for August 24th, 2006

Captain and the Cicadas

Published on August 24, 2006 in For the Record and Pets. 5 Comments

It looks like a plague rolled through here, like God sent his wrath on this little stretch of Indiana with a vengenence that faded to a slight irritation. The cicadas have eaten just about everything we planted, what they didnt eat Captain has helped himself to. It is funny to watch him look for my eye to divert so he can snatch what’s left of the strawberry patch or what’s left hanging on the white grape vines. He does it ever so genergly, one by one, chews quickly then moves along, waits for my eye to divert then repeats the process until I toss a ball that he instinctively follows. I have never known a dog to love berries the way he does. Barney told me how when he was a kid he picked cherries but that one went in the bucket and the other went in his mouth. He and his brothers ate most of the produce before it ever hit the market. They sat in the back of the truck eating freshly picked mangos, the green or the red. By the end of the night they had a belly full of cherries and mangos wich lead to a belly full of rumble and a very busy restroom. He laughes as he tells me this as if it was all worth it. I suppose it was because he did it often as does Captain. He doesn’t seem to mind the tummy rummbling as long as he gets the sweet taste of freshly pilfered grapes and sweet ripe strawberries.

Anticipating with slobber

I’ve never seen anyone revel in stolen goods the way this boy does. After his crime spree he rolls on his back in the grass then stops with his belly to the sun almost as an offering of thanks. When I call him to come home he comes with a tired yet happy trot and plops on the floor for a long nap. Life should always be this good.

Austin’s August

Ultimatum But Not In Those Words

Published on August 24, 2006 in Mental Health and Relationships. 2 Comments

I told her that going to therapy would be the best thing for our friendship and that it could most likely help it. I told her that her own body image is pushed off on others. She said, I know, I’ve passed that onto my girls. I said, yes, you admit that but you don’t do anything to change it. I told her that when she shows me a picture of her girls before she tells me when the pic was taken or where they were she comments on their weight and the length of their hair. Of course the tears started but again, I ignored it and kept talking. I said, you can recognize that you are harming others with your own poor self image but it does not good to recognize it if you don’t want to change it. I said, are you hearing me when I say that going to therapy could help save our friendship? She said, yes, I didn’t take it lightly. I said, I just want to make sure that you hear me when I say that I will not be reminded of my faults every time I talk to you. I used very few I messages in that conversation because I just didn’t feel like it. I wasn’t up to it.

She swears she’s going to therapy but she’s said it before. I’ve given her a time limit that I didn’t disclose to her. If she’s not in therapy by then she can forget ever needing to say she’s sorry to me again. Last night she left a message on my phone saying that she was worried about me and that she hoped I wasn’t still upset. Oh, I guess since she apologized I’m supposed to just not feel hurt anymore. The words I’m sorry do not make the hurt go away, it doesn’t even lesson the length of healing time. When you’ve heard those words before they end up making you even angrier and it takes even more times to heal. How many times did my mother tell me things would change? Countless times!!! Did they? Nope, they never, ever did. Stupid bitch, Mama!!! Anyway, so when Blossom says she’s sorry it means nothing because she’s said it so much. I want to see her in therapy and I want to see her in it within a 2 weeks. Does she know that time limit? Nope, but she knows for certain that our friendship/relationship is in danger of ending if she doesn’t get into therapy. I mean come on, who are we kidding right? We’re a frikin couple. Dang, best friends don’t do this. I never suggest trying to be best friends with your ex. It doesn’t work out like on the TV show Friends where Ross and Rachael hang out and everything is fine and they marry in the end. Blah! Yuck! It’s just TV not real life. In real life people split up for a reason and it’s not that stupid lie “we make better friends.” Who on earth believes that? Nobody so let’s stop kidding ourselves…this therapy shit is to make sure that our relationship doesn’t end bitterly…again!

Speaking of bitter, I spoke with Mic “the dick” briefly because two fellow officers died the other day while doing a bike ride to support the surviving family members of fallen officers. That must have been just horrible, to do a bike ride for fallen officers and then have two killed! His bitterness was understandable today.

Let’s see, who else was bitter? Well, not me, at least not to the degree I was yesterday. Man I was rage filled not just angry but full of rage. It came in waves too. So I’d be “just fine” or hanging on the edge and wham! I’d get hit with a wave of rage and want to just start throwing stuff and hitting stuff. Finally I crashed on the love seat because when things get like that it is best to just call it a day. I learned long ago that days like that can get really bad very quickly. Hurting myself crossed my mind more than once so I knew it was time to simply call it a day. I have heard that if a person gives it a few days they would come to the conclusion that they should continue to live. I wish I could remember the exact quote but I do believe it. So when that thought crosses my mind I remember to give it some time, to not act on impulse. I took my 1mg of clonapin and laid down. When I woke up I wanted to take more but see, I don’t need a drug problem too. I just left it alone because I didn’t want to abuse the medication. The good thing was, I stayed up and got quite a bit of my to-do list completed. I was quite proud of that.

Well, I have therapy tomorrow/today so I should hit the love seat very soon. Blaze will be here to pick me up then I’ll truck on over to the BMV to renew my license. That means my hair has to be cute for the picture. I should pose or something, turn to the side and do a blown kiss at the camera. I can’t wear my baseball cap so the pic will not look like me one single bit. My chubby freckled cheeks will be there with the mischievous gleam in my eye but without the baseball cap pulled down low you wouldn’t really be able to say, yup, that’s Austin alright.

 

Jon Benet Ramsey: Thirst For Beauty And Gore

Published on August 24, 2006 in Soapbox. 0 Comments

Jon Benet Ramsey: Thirst For Beauty And Gore – Wednesday, August 23, 2006-11:11PM

UPDATE: Entertainment Tonight has all the lastest gossip about this little girl. They ended the show by saying that they would keep everyone up to speed on the lastest developments. This show also highlighted Mcally Cullin’s birthday as well as the red carpet events coming up soon. They talked about who the guy from the show Friends took to the Emmy’s and other Hollywood gossip. How does a child’s murder fit in with the Emmy Awards? How is the death of a child who was not even part of Hollywood become entertainment? This is all very disgusting.

I’m not really a person who enjoys controversy but I’m also not one to keep silent just because I have an opposing view. I not only have an opposing view to the way the high profile murder is handled I have a loathing for the amount of thirst the public has for each and every detail. Let me make it very clear that I in no way take lightly that a life was taken violently, however, Jon Benet was not the only person killed in 1996. So why do we keep hearing about this one child again and again? The media bombards us with exactly why they report the case when articles and news reporters refer to her as the “6-year-old beauty queen” instead of the six year old child murdered in her own home. The true reason the case is so popular is that it has both gore and beauty, two things the public loves. What matters above everything is that a child was killed violently, period! That is what needs to be addressed and that killer needs to be off the streets for good.

Do I have an opinion on whether or not her parents should have put her in pageants? Nope I don’t because it has no bearing on her death, not in my opinion anyway. Did the person who killed this little girl kill her due to her pageant status? That is unlikely so my opinion on pageants is irrelevant. What does matter is the fact that a life was taken and that life has been plastered all over the media in a disgusting capitalistic display. That display overshadows justice for Jon Benet but even more so it overshadows the unsolved murdered adults and children that died that December and all unsolved murders since then.

There were 19,650 murders for the year 1996 as reported by several sites but more specifically the U.S. Department of Justice Bureau of Justice Statistics. So why are we hearing about one case repeatedly? Is there something about this specific child’s murder that stands out above the rest? Again, it’s the gore and beauty mix that keeps people drawn to the case. This dishonors her and the children who never made the spotlight. All of justice for this child has been perverted and justice for those who were murdered before and after her up to this point shares the same perversion. Do not forget that others shared Jon Benet’s fate and do not forget that it is justice that is needed, not pictures, short films and book after book to tell us the true Jon Benet story.

Do I feel badly for the Ramsey family? I sure do. I feel just as bad for them as I do for the countless names on the Murder Wall that is hosted by the The National Organization of Parents Of Murdered Children, Inc. I have a feeling that they do not have a special beauty-gore wall. I have a feeling that they see each and every victim as equal and deserving of justice. There are countless families that struggle each day due to the death of a murdered child. There are countless families that were accused of killing their child then later exonerated yet still denied peace of mind. Nor were the exonerated awarded a partially mended life. They did not have a national apology or countless books written about their child or loved one.

Death by murder is a destructive force that never seems to let up even when the family has money, no money, a big home, a small home, is Black, White, Hispanic or Korean. Lives are destroyed when a family member is murdered. For those who live each day with unsolved cases how do they feel as they watch one case captivate the world and leave their loved one behind? It is my hope other surviving families do not feel any anger towards Jon Benet because she didn’t ask to be murdered and she never asked to be put in the spotlight like this or held across nations as one of the most famous US murders.

International news for the death of one child, does that not strike you as odd? Have you ever asked yourself, how did they know about Jon Benet Ramsey in Thailand when Bangkok, Thailand is 8375 miles from Boulder, Colorado? How on earth did officials in Thailand know who Jon Benet was? This major spotlight leaves so many other unsolved murders in the dark. That is why it disgusts me to see such fan fair over the arrest of this guy that claims he killed Jon Benet. When the spot light hits one murder case, no matter who that person was, all other cases lose light and fall back. It is unjust.

“Justice will only be achieved when those who are not injured by crime feel as indignant as those who are.”

Quote Found here

Austin’s August