Bella Survived But Will I

Bella Survived But Will I-Friday, November 03, 2006-8:50AM

My body hurts and I’m physically and emotionally exhausted beyond belief. Bella got fixed yesterday and it seems that she will be just fine still yesterday was one of those days where if anything could go wrong it would. I got so little sleep the night before because I knew I was taking Bell in to get spayed. Well, fortunately I looked up the hours for check in on the net and unlike Blossom thought we had to be there at 8:15AM not 5:15AM. Crimeny! That’s a big difference and thank goodness we got that cleared up before we showed up that early. I didn’t get much sleep anyway cause I kept thinking about losing Bella. So we got there and for me the highlight of the day was seeing all the little furry creatures and their neurotic human parents. They were all too funny. You could just about figure out a person’s personality by what animal they had and what that animal had on. There were fur coats on the tiniest dogs I’ve ever seen. They were so tiny I expected to see some little battery sleeve, someplace to put 4 AA batteries so the little legs would move. It was like, good gracious is that thing real? So they had on fur coats, jean jackets and the designer names to match. Too funny.

Well, when it was my turn I told the vet that he had to take care of my baby because I didn’t want to have to come back here acting stupid. He gave me this frightened look then started laughing. He held Bella really close and said, “She’ll be okay.” I said, well, lets hope so…for your sake I mean. He laughed. When I went out to pay my $20 for the surgery I told the volunteer that I didn’t want to have to come back acting stupid so she should make sure that Bella is comforted in any way possible. She and I were joking around a bit before I asked about volunteer opportunities. She said I could come back daily to be the comic relief for the office. I think it might have had something to do with the fact that when I first came in the worker asked me what my cats name is. It took me 3 times to answer correctly. I said, bare with me I’m working on one cup of coffee here. Well, instead of her coming to the desk to ask me this she was yelling to me with her back turned which means I had to raise my voice in that tiny place. That means everyone heard my coffee comment and everyone started laughing. I said two names I’ve never even heard before and then finally remembered MY cat’s name. Ah, so, it was a very interesting check in. Blossom and I went to pet the furry creatures waiting for a home then we went home.

Bella is back home but the first few hours were not good at all. Her gums turned white and of course that is never a good thing. Bella, full legal name Gabriella is named so because of her talkative nature. She’s a beautiful gabber. Well, the gabber was quiet and her gums were white. I knew that wasn’t right so I called the emergency number. The vet that answered was more worried about liability than Bella. I was pissed. Finally I said, fuck liability and tell me what to do for my cat. I think I shocked her with my response. She paused then told me to give her some honey or pancake syrup then in a few minutes check her gums again. I did and in a few minutes I pressed on her gums to see if they would give me any colour. They gave me just a little so I gave her a bit more honey. Thank goodness I buy the quality honey or I would have done better to give her a teaspoon of sugar. So, after the second dose of honey she seemed to get better. How many cats walk away from tuna? Bella did but after two shots of honey and about an hour she decided the tuna did look good. So, it was a very long exhausting day.

This afternoon Bell found herself right back on top of her teddy bear kneading and giving me the sleepy eyed look. So, I think we are on safe ground here. I tell ya, we get attached so quickly and fear so much that we will lose them and prove to ourselves that we should just leave well enough alone and never ever trust again….never let anyone or anything in our heart so that we can’t ever feel the pain of loss. But then that can’t happen. What would life be like if we never, ever let anyone or anything in? Risking loss is worth it because the benefits of having a connection are greater than even the pain of losing their little furry selves.

Now, if you’ll excuse me I have some pampering to do.

Joan of Arc