Boundaries and Mixed Messages Part 1 of 2

Boundaries and Mixed Messages Part 1 of 2
Boundaries Crossed Thursday, November 23, 2006-5:21AM EST

I’m going to try and make this a shorter entry so as not to drag this whole thing out. I’ve been given some new thoughts on why this person may have sent me a card despite what I thought Destiny was clear about. But first I need to say that I won’t take Destiny’s entries down. She is third protector and even though I out rank her I will not take down an entry she wrote expressing her thoughts on holidays then expressing her hurt over someone purposely crossing her boundaries therefore crossing the boundaries of everyone in Morton’s Pride. What I will do is address what a friend of mine brought up about why this person decided to send a card regardless of what I thought was a clear and to the point entry. In order to keep this short(er) I’ll do this in two entries- one about communication and the other about understanding the intensions of the person who sent the e-card.

Would I have worded Destiny’s entry on holidays differently, without a doubt. If I celebrated holidays would I have been offended by some of what she said? Without a doubt I would have been but I believe the underlying message was don’t send us anything. It’s been years that we’ve been telling people not to send us cards and I think this year Destiny simply wanted to make it clear instead of swallowing her anger and sending no reply at all to the cards that come flowing in our inbox. Yes, Destiny signed her name to it and she worded it in such a way that not all of Morton’s Pride would have but the basic message is something we all would have wanted to convey. Please don’t send us anything, that was basically her message.

In a damage control type way I sent out private email to 5 different people letting them know that the second entry Destiny wrote had nothing at all to do with them and that they had not offended her in anyway. Perhaps that was my way of saying, please don’t send us something knowing it’ll be offensive because getting slapped in the face again will be too dang on much to take. I pretty much begged dont send us anything because we don’t want to ever think you’d purposely offend anyone. It’s about trust issues. It’s about saying, please don’t tell me I was wrong to think we were friends only to have you turn around and purposely offend me when I’ve made it clear how I feel. Those 5 emails I sent out were a true reflection of how hard it is to trust and how foolish one can feel for trusting, for becoming comfortable just to get slapped and be told to enjoy it. Also, those emails were a cut and paste thing so everyone got the same email. We wanted them to know that they hadn’t done anything at all to us and we wanted them to not have any questions at all as to if our anger is directed towards them because maybe an auto generated card got sent to us by mistake. Sometimes people have them auto generated. The Thanksgiving e-card we got was not auto generated. With that said, let me begin.

There was a lot of detail that I did not include in this entry and that Destiny did not include in her second entry about why we are simply not willing to see this as a miscommunication and why it was we were so offended by that particular person sending the e-card. I figured I’d leave her personal stuff off the journal but it seems doing so left open doubt that the person actually meant to offend me. She did. She succeeded too. This person read the original entry and left a comment so it’s not like she didn’t actually see the entry. She did, she saw it and commented even saying that when she tells people to have a good holiday its in the same tone as when she says have a good day and the same empty meaning as when people ask “how are you.” So, I’m saying that after reading the post then commenting followed by sending me a card is just inexcusable. I do not even know this person in my 3-D life but what I do know is that she keeps telling me we have a superficial friendship like the superficial relationships she says she has with most people. So, see it’s not so horrible when I say I’m done because clearly we didn’t have anything deep in the first place. I was just a superficial friend anyway so purposely offending me didn’t mean jack squat to her. So I hope that clears up the fact that there was not any miscommunication on her part when sending me an e-card.

Lastly, I removed that person’s name from her comment because other people that comment have that same name and I didn’t want there to be any confusion about which one it was. I don’t want someone out there going, was it this one or that one they have the same name. So, I did remove the person’s name to avoid mix up. I have three different people by that name who comment on this journal but trust me, this person is very well aware of the offensive nature. The hurt is that it was purposeful, that is what really hurts. It was purposeful. Is the hurt about the holidays? No, it’s not. Had I said, please don’t send me anything with a turtle on it and here’s why and then you sent me something with a turtle on it I’d be just as offended. If I said I don’t like the colour red (which I do. I love that colour) and then explained why but you mailed me a red shirt and told me I’d look good in it and to enjoy it I’d be just as offended as I am about the card. The main issue is boundaries and trying your damndest to offend leaving me to try and figure out what the real purpose of sending that card was.

Joan of Arc for Morton’s Pride