The People Behind My Eyes

I haven’t gotten around to writing about the movie review. This whole pneumonia thing is trying it’s hardest to come back.

I saw my new therapist again. I like him. I saw the second guy and he was wacko. He told me he could cure me in 3 sessions with his “ancient Chinese” secrets. He said that my chi is out of order and that if this life force of mine can be centered (through chi gong) then I would be able to get over PTSD and all that. He said he usually doesn’t have to see a client more than 6 times. Blossom said it’s not that they’re cured its simply that they don’t come back. Amen! He asked when I wanted to come back. I said I don’t. He asked why so I told him “I don’t trust you and I think you’re a quack.” He was a bit shocked that I would be so straight forward but you know when you whip out moon rocks and start telling me about how my chi is out of order then I just might have to be a bit blunt.

The man all but levitated so I took my chi and went home. Hands off my chi mister, we don’t know each other that well! so now when I need an excuse not to do something I’ll tell people, “I’m sorry I can’t, my chi isn’t balanced today.” Okay so I saw that man for 50 min and left. I wondered why on earth he didn’t let people know first hand that he was into holistic healing or whatever. I thought I was going to a psychotherapist’s office but nope he wanted to guide this little grasshopper to a balanced life force through ancient Chinese secrets. I about died when he said that! Are you serious sir? There’s a way to say something like that. He should have told me way before the end of the session that he was into holistic stuff and not “traditional” therapy. He might as well have whipped out some store bought Ramen noodles, he was that Asian authentic! Give me a brake. I could get more authentic Asian secrets from a cracker jack box than from that sorry guy. Heck the cracker jack company is known for its “decoders.” I’m sure they have one for ancient secrets. He was unbelievable! But, I did like the REAL psychotherapist, the one who didn’t whip out moon rocks and what not. I like him. he didn’t have a chance at first because he isn’t Dr. B but I have this rule I will see any half assed therapist 3 times before making a real judgement. The moon guy did not fall under that rule. Dang it, I missed my chance to be cured in 3 sessions. Argh! What is wrong with me? He seemed to think I didn’t want to get better. He asked who among Morton’s Pride didn’t want to heal or get better and who would object to his healing. How about all of us Dr. You Don’t Know Jack Crap About Nothin!

Had he let me know up front that he wasn’t into “traditional” therapy I wouldn’t have been shocked but there was no indication, no mention of moon rocks and secrets. Little Grasshopper took her chi and high taled right on out of there. Captain didn’t like him either. He kept his eye on him. Should have bitten him right in the ars but there’s no telling if the man had rabbis or not he was talking off the wall…it was only a matter of time before he started foaming at the mouth….he should have warned me and I wouldn’t have been so shocked…idiot! Had he been wearing his “I’m stupid” sign we could have avoided all of this but nope, he wasn’t wearing his sign…now look where we are! Should have just worn the sign!… idiot!

Robert