My Dog the Alcoholic-Saturday, January 06, 2007-4:07PM EST
I hate having to take care of him when he has a hang over. My stuffie isn’t soft enough, can you fluff him more? Did you use Downey on this blankie or did you get cheep on me and use Blankie So-Soft? Complain, complain, complain….
I appreciate having a doggie babysitter, I really do. He comes in handy when Cap really needs to do more than a few walks a day. Beer Belly Billy (my functional alcoholic neighbor) has three dogs of his own and a huge fenced in yard. Cap goes over there to play while I do whatever I need to do over here. Well, I think it’s a sad thing when you have to tell the doggie babysitter, “Please don’t fill my dog up on beer,” followed by, “What I mean is, don’t give my dog any beer.” His oldest dog is a drunk. I’ve been over there and that dog was flat on his ars drunk. He’s a Budweiser dog if I’ve ever seen one. My goodness, what does his poor little liver look like? So, I had to tell Beer Belly Billy not to give my dog any beer because I didn’t want to have to take him to doggie AA. “My name is Captain and I’m an alcoholic.” “We love you Captain.” They all shake paws at the end of the meeting and say in unison, “Keep coming back.” I do not want my dog in recovery. Bud is not the answer, its not how we pass our down time, not how we handle life stress or anything else. Captain, please, just say no.
A nice little doggie nanny cam on his collar would be awesome. Something I could use to watch the babysitter so I know he’s not getting my dog drunk. The next thing you know he’ll have them smokin’ weed and bringing in bitches (females in heat) for them. There’ll be a whole animal party goin’ on over there. Sodom and Dogmorrah all over again, that’s all I need, to be the grandmother of oops puppies cause Cap couldn’t keep it in his fur pouch. He’s fixed so that won’t happen but you know how we women are, we can’t just sleep around and not expect some sort of commitment. Cap can’t commit. Sad to say it but its true, Cap can’t commit.
He’s the type of dog that will stay with one good dog but is always looking for a better pedigree to come along. He’s always looking for some other dog with a better blood line, more championships and a history of being hard to get. He needs that challenge but when he does get what he wants he’s on to the next challenge. My boy is shallow. He’s conceded too. The other dog can’t be prettier than him. She’ll show him up and that just can’t be.
So anyway, Cap is over next door being ruined while I try my best to tear into this house for some deep cleaning. Let’s just hope Captain’s service animal representative does not show up for some sort of home visit, not today PLEASE. I can not guarantee that he’ll be sober and…pure.
Joan of Arc
A general search results for Psychiatric Task Dog will yield these links and more.
www.answers.com/topic/psychiatric-service-dog
bipolar.about.com/od/disability/a/servicedogs.htm – Service dogs for Bipolar Disorder
When John used to bbq he would pour a little beer in his hand and Shakes would drink it, then sneeze. That was the extent of his beer drinking but he did seem to like.
keepers
They certainly shouldn’t be giving the dog alcohol! That is really irresponsible.
Back in my beer drinking days I had this cat who would come lick the drops of beer off the rim of the can when I set it down. He would go wherever he could to get a taste of beer! But I certainly never deliberately gave him any.
Whatever, all dogs love a good pinot grigio once in awhile.They need weekends too.My babies are no exceotion, just make sure they dont get a brain freeze from too much ice!
Well, see, every now and then might be okay but my neighbors dogs are drunks. I refuse to let my dog bark and drink. Can a dog that drinks too much have puppies with fetal alcohol syndrome? I’m just thinking/blogging out loud.
Austin