Stepping On My Toes
There’s a store that a I frequent where everything is one dollar. I get cleaning supplies there and paper products. As with other places I go I know the cashiers and stuff and we talk and mess around and everything. Well, a guy that works there wants to hug me. That doesn’t work. I’m not a touchy feely person. Two times now he’s tried to hug me. The last time I left the store I was shaking inside. I couldn’t catch my breath so I stepped outside while Blossom got her stuff. Today, that guy, the worker in the store, said I was evil because I didn’t hug him. I just passed it off. I use the word evil all the time and most of the time I don’t mean it in it’s literal form but later in the store when he passed me he told his manager I was a piece of trash and to kick me out of the store. It seems odd that someone would say that about a person, especially to their manager. This guy is mild MR and I understand that he is trying very hard to get to know Blossom and me but today’s comment was overboard. It hurt. It was not what I needed to hear.
Therapy went okay. I still feel rather raw inside which is why I think it hurt so much to be called trash. I know he wasn’t trying to be mean. I kinda know the guy, only from working there so I know he isn’t a cruel guy. It’s just that I wish he’d chosen different words, at least today anyway. And yeah, I am making excuses for him. I worked with mildly mentally retarded (MR) to profound mentally retarded adults so I know that his actions were not something others would do. Who actually says to their supervisor, “she’s trash, throw her out of here?” so my point is, even though his words hurt he did not do so with malice. He wants human connection so he wants me to hug him. I can’t and won’t offer him that. I made that clear which is probably why he replied, “you’re so evil.”
When a person steps on your toes it hurts. Even if they didn’t mean to the pain is still there. So I guess what I’m trying to say is even though he did not set out to hurt my feelings he still did.
I have to go to sleep now
Maureen
Funny you post this.
I was just thinking about writing a posts about hugs myself. In an online chat a week or so ago I had a conversation with a friend about hugging.
I don’t know the last time I actually hugged somebody. I just know I hate it.
The last thing in the world you are is evil. And even though that person probably didn’t mean what was said, it hurts none the less.
whether intended to hurt or not, it hurt and that is all that matters! if they want this man to work there he has to learn boundaries between the customers and him and abide by them.
that had to hurt big time,
keepers
I get very hurt by such comments too. I can’t just let them roll off the way one is “supposed to.” Whether this guy is mentally retarded or not, he shouldn’t be saying such things about another person. Not everyone is touchy-feely. I’m not either.