Daily Archive for February 8th, 2007

Criminal Minds – Murder and Multiples

Published on February 8, 2007 in Dissociative Identity Disorder, For the Record and Mental Health. 0 Comments

I watched both shows of Criminal Minds where my favorite character was kidnapped by some killer living three different lives. At first I watched the show to see if they were going to say the killer had DID but they never said it. They hinted at it but they never said it. I figured that the show wasn’t trying to teach anything, just gross us out with how bloody they could get while killing off innocent people. The whole Jezebel thing was totally wrong. In the Bible Jezebel was dead BEFORE the dogs ate her. She wasn’t killed by the dogs but I suppose for the show and shock they had to gross us all out and have three hounds take her apart.

I was unaffected by the hint that the man had DID. It was nearly laughable at times when he’d go from speaking like Tobias to speaking like Raphael and then his father Charles. What was laughable was what they had him saying. Switching occurs, without a doubt it occurs so that wasn’t the funny part. It was how they did it and what they had him say. He said stuff like “My work is done.” Okay, whatever. I will give them this, I think they did right in depicting Tobias the way they did. He was very submissive, fearful, head low but quick with an answer. When Reid told him to disobey his father and let him in the house Tobias said, “At what age should you begin to disrespect the wishes of your parents?” At that moment that was me standing at the door. I was given answers like that to pull from some seeming pool of wisdom to throw off the most prepared social worker who’d come to make sure Mother Charles wasn’t hurting me. They did the submissive Tobias right. As for the DID thing, yeah they hinted at it but they never really said it. Even if they had I couldn’t dispute it. They showed details of how he grew up and how young he was when all that happened. Hang on, I believe they even mentioned how old he was when things at home took a horrible turn. That was more than a hint. If a person knows what has to take place for DID to develop and at what age it no longer develops then putting two and two together you get a multiple.

I like Spencer Reid. He’s my favorite character on the show even before the lovely chocolate fellow Shemar Moore and the overly intense, waiting to have a heart attack Jason Gideon. I still like Mandy Patinkin (Gideon) but its hard to watch him and not hear him sing. I can just about see him dancing fairy like, singing in that high voice. But that sound and vision isn’t enough to make me stop watching the show. I wish he’d stop singing but hey, we all have to have something we really suck at. Listen to Mandy P sing Minute Waltz and try to keep a straight face. I appreciate his acting but not his singing. He has a very nice voice, why oh why would he choose such a genre? Not the Minute Waltz Mandy, why the Waltz? Anything but the Minute Waltz.

Anyway, I hope they don’t go and give Reid a drug problem so we can all watch his character suffer and watch his friends stand by helplessly. I hated when they did that to a character on Without A Trace. Anyway, I sympathize with Reid’s character. He seems so troubled.

With last nights show what I took away was the killer was a true whack job, DID or no he was a whack job…sicking dogs on people like that, it was just sick.

Austin

Criminal Minds- Murder and Multiple Personality Disorder-Thursday, February 08, 2007-4:30PM EST

To Answer Your Question

Published on February 8, 2007 in Dissociative Identity Disorder and Relationships. 0 Comments

Questions From Readers
Thursday, February 08, 2007-4:27AM EST

 

***comments are closed***

To answer your question, yes it matters to me if I piss people off. As mush as I say I write this journal only for me I know for sure I’d be a bit upset if no one read a word I said. Even so, the main reason for writing is for me. I’m not trying to piss people off or isolate myself from other multiples. I’m trying to get over the crap in my head. I figured survivors of all people could understand that.

I understand there are some multiples who are quite “unhappy” about my entry where I said I’d become a singleton today if I had that option. I know that may view integration as killing the alters or not appreciating what they’ve done for us. This is not the case with Morton’s Pride. Our wanting to be a singleton is a group decision not something that just one of us wants but all of us. I believe that makes a difference than if just one of us wanted it. But then again do I really need to justify each step we take so that I don’t piss off people when they don’t agree with the way I choose to heal? It’s a good thing I’m not trying to win a popularity contest because if I had been I’d have lost big time. If I were trying to win a popularity contest I’d have written an entry sure to please every multiple out there. ……

If you read this journal you read at the risk of either being offended or connected. I hope it will be the latter. I can’t promise you I’ll say what you want to hear or say it the way you want to hear it. What I can promise you is honesty. I’ve written that in each entry.

**no comments for this entry—public or private, thank you.**

Joan of Arc for Morton’s Pride

Speak

Published on February 8, 2007 in Art, PTSD and Therapy. 2 Comments

Speak
Thursday, February 08, 2007-4:19AM EST

This is my sister. I miss her. Beyond saying that I can’t seem to talk about her without my chest getting tight and my eyes watering up. My throat closes and my mind shuts off.

I paint easier than I speak. I write easier than I speak. It seems the words get tangled up. I listen to each and every one to say it right, to give the right word to reflect exactly what I mean with no questions asked. I try to word things in such a way that it can’t be taken wrong. There is much more freedom with art. Sometimes there are too many words and those words seem too frightening to say out loud. Sometimes they get all jumbled up and I can’t even write them but I can paint them in a heartbeat. As a way to relax I’ll paint or doodle before going to bed. I use art as a coping skill in many, many ways. I think it is a tangible form of healing. Words can get lost in the mix, can mean more than one thing, they can disappear as quickly as they came in. I can dissociate and give details of abuse and feel nothing at all. I can’t grasp it in my hands and most of the time the words slip through my mind, they’re lost and evaporate…. like smoke! But art, you can see it. I can point to it and say this is how I feel right now, this is what it looks like inside my head, when I sleep, when my mouth is closed, when my eyes are closed or open, everywhere and everyday, this is how I feel. I seem to be able to draw better than I speak.