The assignment will be for me to write down the dream as it happened then re-write it so that it turns out the way I want it to turn out, so that I’m the victor and not the victim.
Dream:
There’s a framed picture of me at about six years old sitting on top of a book shelf. The framed picture exists but I keep it put up. This is the picture here. My sister and I went back to our apartment because we forgot something. We walked in and the maid (male) was cleaning up. He moved the bookshelf to sweep under it and knocked off the picture but didn’t realize it. I found it shattered. It was shattered oddly though. It shattered half of the head and a bit of the face then the entire frame right up to the edge where the glass meets the picture was destroyed. I could see the lower half of my body untouched by the breakage and part of my face untouched by the breakage. There were a few minor cracks but for the most part the glass over those places went untouched while the rest was broken off and in pieces on the floor. So it wasn’t just the frame that shattered but the picture broke off and fell onto the floor as well. The maid apologized up and down and said he would replace it. He new just the place to get a new frame. (This place he talked about is a store in my dreams but it doesn’t exist in real life. It’s a trinket store.) I told him it couldn’t be replaced. He said, “Oh, is it one of those irreplaceable, timeless pieces?” I didn’t respond. He said something about how cheap it looked and that the frame could be replaced.
Different part of the dream:
My mother was on roller skates and on all 4’s skating. She had skates on her hands and feet and like a dog had a harness on, a cobalt blue no pull harness with the leash standing erect. She about lost control on skates and crashed but I grabbed the harness and lead her to the grass. I even walked her a little bit. (Yes, I’m laughing out loud at the moment)
Recurrent dream theme: the mall, trinket store, almost missed the bus home, homeless shelter (which does not exist)
New: nothing
Feelings upon waking: depressed, sad
Feelings now: energetic, motivated to keep going
The mother on skates was odd but odd isn’t new in my dreams. She was outside the mall that always shows up in my dreams. It wasn’t the mini mall though it was the mall that has hidden stores and the mall where I go to look for the red tennis shoes in my dreams. But I don’t know what to think of her on skates and me walking her like a dog. No one looked at us oddly. I only remember fragments of this dream but I thought the shattered frame was significant so I wrote it down. I know exactly why I dreamed it too. I talked to a friend of mine about how the abusers didn’t destroy us. No matter what they did they didn’t destroy us. Yes, I’m fractured and fragmented but as the dream so clearly showed, it couldn’t get to the center. It couldn’t change my heart or fragment my heart, break it forever or even destroy it.
Austin
Fragmented Not Destroyed Part 1 of 2 – original dream unaltered
Fragmented Not Destroyed Part 2 of 2 Mama on skates re-written
Thursday, March 29, 2007
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