The People Behind My Eyes

We crossed through town on the highway. Blossom was driving first then she turned into my mother. We crossed over a bridge where the water was right up to the side. We crossed over once then the dream kind of did a rewind and we crossed over again..almost like someone hit rewind on the VCR remote…we crossed again (mother driving) and saw that several cars crashed into the river. The river banks were steep but the water came right up the side of the road on both sides. One man’s car was still in the grass, it didn’t fall into the water. He was on a limb annoyed, waiting to be rescued. Annoyed not hurt or anxious but annoyed. It was an inconvenience for him to nearly drown. Others were inside the cars floating. No one panicked; they sat as if they were waiting for the water to recede so they could drive away again. I was frightened, on the road, and told my mother so. She became upset that I kept talking about how scared I was. She thought I meant she was a bad driver. She stopped the car in the middle of the highway and sat there. Cars drove by us slowly; some came to a stop behind us. She told me that she wasn’t happy that I kept talking about how bad she drives. I told her I was equally as afraid driving with Blossom and with UK. She said she was surprised about the UK thing because when UK speaks I go into a trance. She said I listen to her as if she were holy. She started the car again and we drove through 3 different freeways right into downtown Indy. The whole time I tried to assure her that it wasn’t her driving that frightened me it was my water phobia. She was angry, annoyed and dissociating. She was dissociating so badly that I told her to pull over and let me drive. Even more offended now she sped up, began driving out of control, taking chances she didn’t need to take. By this time we were driving by the mini mall that’s always in my dreams. She sped through the same parking lot as the dream where she was on her hands and knees in roller skates. From there we went to the Methodist Hospital. She had to use the restroom so she and my sister and I got out and walked through the hospital.

The whole time through the hospital she kept telling me how angered she was by me being upset. She was working herself up into a rage. We stopped off into a hallway where three restroom doors were. It was hard to tell which was a woman’s restroom and which was for men. My sister chose the wrong door and so did I. the mother walked into the women’s restroom where everything was a pearl colour. The walls, the stalls, the sink, floor, everything was pearl coloured. It was like a maze in there too. I got lost and realized the mother skipped out on me with the sister. A guy came into the restroom and realized that he’d come through the wrong door. He showed me how to get out of the restroom. Outside of the restroom I found myself in a different part of the hospital. It was like a maze too…winding, a ton of doors. A group of teens were out there and said my mother went this way and pointed down the hall. She was just out of sight each time I tried to catch up. It was like trying to find someone in the store and catching a glimpse of them just as they cross the isle. You go after them and call but they’re one second ahead and cross into the next isle. It became clear she was ditching me. Then she and my sister just disappeared. I got left.

I wandered around the maze and saw rooms where teenager were having half deformed babies, where old people were laying white and frail on oxygen. I’d seen them all before but I didn’t stop to take it all in. I was trying to find my way to the front of the hospital. I saw two officers in the hallway and told one that my mother left me. At first the officer was male but when I told him I got left he turned into a she. Before she took me to the front she said she had to use the restroom. So we went back through the pearl maze restroom. She asked me how old I was. I couldn’t remember. Part of me said I’m 37 but another part said I was only 16. I didn’t answer her and she followed up with, “how old is the group?” she was referring to Morton’s Pride, how old are we? I was taken aback by this question. I said nothing. She finally finished using the restroom and said that I’d have to spend the night in jail until they figured out what to do with me. Just then a teenage girl came into the restroom and told me she saw my mother. I ran out and tried to find her again but she worked her way through the maze and I got left. I woke up.

Austin
Dream Therapy: Driving Home
Sunday, May 27, 2007-10:30PM EST (laid down for a nap, slept 2 hours)