Having any kind of relationship, friendship or romantic, is difficult for all of us. One alter may have a blast with a friend while another alter can’t stand the ground they walk on. Take Blossom for instance, some of us talk about smacking her (which we would never do) while others of us have a good time with her. Our host doesn’t even know her, the kids don’t like her and Morton watches her like he does every other person on the planet. We respond to her differently depending on whose out. It must be difficult for her to know what to expect when she sees us. She prefers me to be out but I can’t guarantee my presence every time.
Our therapist is known by some of us. When we show up we have to be reminded that we know him, that we can talk to him and not hide. The secretaries at the therapy office are greeted with the same hesitation. “I know I’m supposed to know you and I’ll pretend that I do until I figure out who you are.” By the way they immediately joke around with us we can gather that they know Joan quite well. If Joan doesn’t take us to therapy then there’s no telling who will show up and there’s no promise that alter will know the therapist.
I was thinking about this when I read an entry over at Katm’s place. She talked about emotions you show in public and emotions you hide. The thing we hide the most is our confusion about the outside world. I wonder if people can tell that I have to figure out who they are.
We talk to blog friends on the net. When we get an email from them we have to make sure that the person reading it knows who it’s from otherwise the reply is short and sweet. Some of us write to different blog friends but we all sign the name Austin because it makes it easier for the reader. So say if Joan wrote to blog friend 1 but Maureen doesn’t know who that person is then Maureen hesitates to write them back. Maureen will try and wait for Joan to come back around so Joan can write blog friend 1 back. The trouble with that is sometimes we don’t know when an alter will re-appear. Leaving an email in the box for several days without an answer seems worse than replying with brief comments but sometimes it happens. Thank goodness Joan is out a lot because she writes to most of our blog friends. But there are some that Maureen writes to. She hasn’t been around for days so it’s like…argh..waiting, waiting, waiting.
Now think about when the phone rings and you say, “No, I’m sorry, you have the wrong phone number. No one by the name of so-in-so lives here.” I want to tell the caller, “I’m almost positive that you have the wrong number.” I walk away from the phone about 98% sure that so-in-so doesn’t really live here. It can be a confusing world when part of you is familiar with one person but other parts of you don’t know who they are from Adam. It can be frustrating for the other party to wait until a particular alter comes out so their friendship can resume.
Destiny
I’m sorry. I didn’t recognize you.
Tuesday, May 29, 2007-12:59 midnight
Thank you, you helped me to understand your(s) way of e-mailing, cause sometimes I wondered. Any way, I like to hear from “all” of you. Hope you are doing well. Hugs.
This is interesting. With me, on the phone at least, it’s that people who aren’t used to speaking with one of my parts won’t recognize *me* if that’s the part who answers. I guess I have corrected for the short lag in my brain between encountering someone and having the information about who they are.
It is complicated, dealing with relationships when not all parts like (or know) a person. It’s even more difficult if the person not all parts especially like is one’s partner. **Sigh**
It’s even more interesting with children. When some alters know the children and care for them. Others (especially littles) treat them as friends, and others don’t know who they are or why they are asking for things. It certianly makes growing up interesting for the child…I should know.
I guess it can be complicated some times… but not when u’re this brave! *hugs*