Daily Archive for May 30th, 2007

This time I didn’t ask what the black spot is. I knew. Like last time the techs and the doctors were blunt with the results of tests and x-rays. The surgeon said something to the effect of, “The good news is you get to live. The bad news is you have to do it without a new knee.” He says he doesn’t like the odds of me pulling through the surgery. Then he muttered something about not being comfortable with me dying on his watch. Evidently my heart just isn’t strong enough for the surgery and the Lupus is too out of control to risk the odds of infection. He said with the way my blood work came back the chances of me pulling through without infection are too high and he’s not comfortable with doing the surgery. He said if and when the odds become worth the risk then he’d consider the surgery but for now, it’s a no go. I knew that was a possibility. I knew from the way my skin looks and the way I’ve been so tired that my health wasn’t good. But it wasn’t great to hear the word “dead” so many times in such a short period of time. So, as he said, the good news is that I get to live. The bad news is for the sake of beating the odds I’ll need to forgo the surgery. That means I need to call my company and stop the T-shirt production announcing my new knee. My two T-shirts were to say, “Been there, Bent that” and, “I climbed Mount Everest.” ← which really means I cleared all three steps up to my front door without the need for morphine.

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