I was to write down my nightmares in detail and then re-write them so that I came out the victor and not the victim. Recently Dr. T added that it might be a good idea to paint the dream as well. I gave several excuses about why that wouldn’t be a good idea. The truth is, I prefer writing about it and dissociating from it to painting it in colours I won’t soon forget. Despite my objection I went ahead and painted a picture of the mother as I often see her in my dreams.
What I find interesting about this piece isn’t the fear mixed with insanity on her face but the tear that streams from her left eye. She was afraid of men, afraid of women, afraid to be herself, just afraid. She was also a very sad woman who took out her self hatred on others. Clear up into high school if my mother cried I cried. I hated seeing her in emotional pain. Right now, I’d like to stop seeing her in my dreams.
Despite the fact that my time with Dr. T is coming to a close I’ll continue to do dream therapy and perhaps I’ll even draw parts of the dream. I’ve found it helpful. I also think drawing some of the flashbacks has been helpful with desensitizing them.
It is upsetting to me that Dr. T is leaving but I hope to take a few of the things he taught me and continue to use those skills, especially dream therapy. Because this image is disturbing I’ve decreased the thumbnail size to a tiny little square. I don’t want to come to my blog and see her face larger than this. To counter this image I painted one called Gait of Strength.
That’s all for today folks. I need to eat dinner and get ready to see the soon to depart Dr. T tomorrow morning. When he leaves I’ll see one of two available therapists at the current office. I won’t be without a therapist or anything. No searching to be done, just transferring from one provider to another in the same building. There isn’t any work for me to do other than process his departure.
Austin’s August
Dream Therapy and Art Therapy Combined
Wednesday, June 20, 2007-8:06PM EST
That’s a powerful painting. Dream painting seems like a great tool to add to your toolbox.
And I’m glad to hear getting a new therapist won’t be as big a hassle (logistically) as you expected. I hope the new person will be a great fit.
the pic is haunting to me but thats just me, and how are you really feeling about losing Dr T and starting again with a new T same building or not? If ive overstepped the mark im very sorry
Amelia